Judy stands in the kitchen. Somewhere a TV plays and Kitty watches it enthusiastically. Judy goes to plug in a beater, but the mess of cords and plugs in the way makes her want to give up.
TV: (off) Let’s follow Brown Bear to his cave where he will continue to dream.
Kitty: (off) Yay! Brown Bear! I love you, Brown Bear.
Judy: Quiet down! Mommy’s trying to think.
Kitty: (off) Shhhh! Mommy’s trying to think, Brown Bear.
TV: (off) Brown Bear spends fifteen minutes a day dreaming. Do you dream? Do you want to dream? What do you dream about? Do you have goals? What do you want to do with your life? Brown Bear would like to be a chef. See his hat. See his spatula? Brown Bear helps his mommy in the kitchen. What do you want to be when you grow up?
Kitty: (off) Ballerina!
Judy: Happy.
Clara enters.
Clara: Ms. Judy. Ms. Judy.
Judy: What is it?
Clara: Alfred did not go to work this morning.
Judy: I know that.
Clara: He’s very sick. He can barely speak.
Judy: I know. I’m baking some cookies.
Clara: Maybe we should go to the doctor.
Judy: Doctor? Nonsense. Nonsense.
Clara: If he is like this tomorrow, I’m going to call a Doctor.
Judy: I think we should. If he is like this tomorrow.
Clara: Fine.
TV: (off) Brown Bear loves his friends. He loves his mommy too. Brown Bear loves his family.
Judy: Turn that racket off, Kitty. Now.
Clara: Ms. Judy.
Judy: I don’t want to listen to it anymore. I have to listen to that damn Brown Bear program every single day.
Clara: It’s just a show for the ninos.
Judy: What?
Clara: It’s a kids show.
Judy: I know that. But I’m sick of all the noise. How can I plug in this beater?
Clara: Unplug something.
Judy: But I need this plugged in and this and that. We need a bigger house that’s what we need.
Alfred appears. He is very pale, feeble, and weak. His eyes are barely open. He wears a bathrobe.
Clara: Oh, Senor. You should not be up.
Alfred: I need some water.
Clara: How do you feel?
Alfred: Achey. Achey.
Clara: Oh, I know.
Alfred: Is she here yet?
Clara: No.
Judy: Who? Is who here?
Alfred: The nurse. Kitty’s nurse.
Judy: What?
Alfred: I told you I wanted to hire back Kitty’s nurse. I hired back Clara. She’s coming today.
Judy: Another mouth to feed?
Alfred: Why are you concerned about that? You who buy the expensive dresses.
Judy: Just leave me alone, Alfred. Just please do.
Alfred: What are you doing?
Judy: I’m making cookies.
Alfred: Don’t. It’s Clara’s job.
Judy: I like to cook, Alfred.
Alfred: Since when?
Judy: Since I’ve been trying to find more things to do. That’s why. You even said yourself that I don’t have any hobbies.
Alfred: I guess you’re right. But you make such an awful mess. I need a cup of coffee, Clara, can you get that for me?
Judy: I got it.
Alfred: No, Clara.
Judy: I said I got it.
Alfred: I don’t like your coffee, Judy. I don’t.
Judy: Fine. Clara just get-
Clara: I know.
Judy continues to make the cookies in anger, Clara unplugs some things to make the coffee, and Alfred sits at the table.
Clara: Hey, does anyone know where my electric can opener went? I left it here when I left the first time and it has disappeared.
Alfred and Judy exchange a glance.
Judy: No.
Alfred: Haven’t seen it.
Clara: Oh. I swear that I left it here.
Alfred: Aww. My head.
Clara: What does it feel like? Is it bad? Do you need to go to the ‘Ospital?
Alfred: No.
Judy continues with the cookies. She holds a spoon of the stuff over the mixture.
Alfred: I’ll tell you what it really feels like –food poisoning.
Judy puts the spoon back in the jar.
Judy: Really?
Alfred: Yes, really. I mean no offence to you, Clara.
Clara: None taken.
Judy whirls around.
Judy: Oh. But you mean offence to me. Huh? Is that it?
Alfred: I don’t really.
Judy: Why can’t you be nice to me, Alfred? Why? What happened to us?
Alfred: The answer is nothing. Nothing happened.
Judy: You got bored and your hormones went on a rollercoaster ride. Is that it? Had to find some other people to fuck? Some better fucks!
Alfred: Calm down, Kitty-
Judy: I will not calm down. We are going to live together till the end Alfred. And you are going to like it.
Alfred: Ha. Fat chance.
Judy: We’ll see about that.
Clara: Ummm. I’m sorry.
Alfred: There is nothing to be sorry about. Thank you for the cup.
Clara: No. I just feel-
Alfred: No need to feel-
Clara: Why don’t you two get a divorce?
Silence. Alfred stands.
Alfred: I have to go back to bed.
Judy: Wait. I’ll tell you why, Clara. Because I married this man for love. I still love him. Even though he is hard headed. I will not divorce him.
Alfred: That’s enough.
Clara: But you are both so-
Alfred: Clara, thank you for your perspective, but I will not be getting a divorce.
Judy: Oh, no Clara, Alfred just waits until he kills his wives and then he moves on.
Alfred: You bitch.
Alfred comes at her, just as she scoops the “stuff” into the batter. The doorbell.
Clara: Senor!
Alfred: It must be the nurse. Go let her in.
Judy: I couldn’t stand that Maggie woman.
Alfred: I’m sure she couldn’t stand you. It’s not Maggie. It’s-
Clara opens the front door. Cindy stands there with suitcases.
Cindy: Hi ya!
Judy: You.
Cindy: How are you doing?
Judy: You want to avoid a scandal, Alfred? Oh just you wait. I’ll give you a scandal.
Judy throws the batter into the refrigerator and takes the brown bag with the “stuff” and huffs down the stairs. Kitty appears at the front door as Cindy goes up the stairs.
Kitty: Hi Cindy lady!
Cindy: Hi, there.
Alfred: Where are you going?
Judy: Out. To have a little fun.
Alfred: Judy.
Judy: What?
Alfred: Don’t you do anything that you’ll regret.
Judy: You can have yours. I can have mine. I’m outta here.
Kitty: Mommy-
Judy: What?
Kitty: Nevermind.
Judy: What is it?
Kitty: Will it hurt to burn?
Judy: What are you talking about?
Kitty: Nothing.
Judy: (to Cindy) Have fun with her. She’s a handful.
Judy stamps out putting her coat on. The front door closes behind her and she is on the stoop. Clara looks out the living room window after her. She starts to walk. The leaves are falling. She walks several blocks.
Judy: (thinking) They suspect. They know. I’ll have to call him again. I have to get something else. Something quicker. Something more. More than what that is.
Judy turns onto Pine Tree Lane. She walks a ways and goes to a house that is all the way at the end of the block. It is secluded by many trees and weeping willows. She goes into the gate which squeaks and then goes up to the door. She knocks the knocker. After awhile, Charles appears.
Charles: Hello. I didn’t expect to see you again so soon.
Judy: I just wanted to stop over and say hello. Thank you for the walk last evening. It was lovely.
Charles: Oh I didn’t mind. I quite enjoyed myself. I like your top.
Judy: Thank you. Thank you very much.
Charles: Did you want to come in?
Judy: No. I was hoping we could go on another walk.
Charles: I don’t know-
Judy: It’ll be fine. Do you have the time?
Charles: Sure. Did you want to come in for a bit?
Judy: I better not.
Charles: I really, really, really like your top.
Judy: Thanks.
Charles: Sorry.
Judy: Sorry for what?
Charles: Nothing. Let me just have a second.
Charles disappears inside for a second. He returns with an umbrella.
Judy: An umbrella?
Charles: For the sun. It’s very sunny.
Judy: You are so old fashioned.
Charles: Not really. I just don’t want to get skin cancer.
Judy: I used to tan. But now . . .now I don’t do anything.
They walk.
Charles: Anything?
Judy: I have always just done what I could, you know? I never really thought about what I wanted. Do you know?
Charles: No, I’m not sure I follow.
Judy: When I was a little girl, I wanted to be rich. That’s all that mattered. It is all that mattered.
Charles: What’s wrong with that?
Judy: I’m not very happy. I’m realizing money isn’t everything.
Charles: But it’s something. It’s definitely something.
A car passes. Someone shouts:
Driver: Go back where you belong, asshole!
Judy: Did you hear that?
Charles: What?
Judy: That man screaming at us.
Charles: I didn’t think he was screaming at us. Do you want to go back to my house?
Judy: No, I don’t. Why do you keep asking me that?
Charles: It’s awfully sunny.
Judy: I know.
Charles: Sorry.
Judy: Don’t apologize. What a weird thing to say. Anyway, I think I missed out on dreaming in my childhood or something. Do you dream?
Charles: What do you mean?
Judy: Do you dream? Do you think about what you want out of life?
Charles: Sometimes.
Judy: And are you happy?
Charles: Sorta. I’ve made some mistakes.
Judy: Haven’t we all. Haven’t we all.
A lady is across the street. She screams:
Lady: Don’t you dare come across this street or I’ll beat you, you pervert!
Judy: You had to have heard that.
Charles: I did.
Judy: I think she was talking to us.
Charles: I don’t think so.
Judy: I do. She was looking right over here. Oh. But she’s gone now. What a weird day.
Charles: Where were we?
Judy: Dreaming. What are your dreams, Charles?
Charles: I don’t think I can tell you all of them.
Judy: Oh. Charles. You can. You can share anything with me.
Charles: I’m a different sort of person, Judy. I am.
Judy: I don’t mind. I don’t. Really I don’t.
Charles: You are married.
Judy: Sometimes the word isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.
Charles: You aren’t happy?
Judy: Not really.
Charles: Has divorce crossed your mind?
Judy: I’ll just say more than once. But there is so much security here. I feel so safe living here. I don’t think I could move.
Charles: I wish I could say the same.
Judy: You don’t feel safe.
Another car:
Driver: Sick fuck! (The driver throws a wrench and it hits Charles in the head. He is down.)
Judy: Oh my God. Oh my God. Are you okay?
Mildred Pierce comes out of her home.
Mildred: Get out of here! You depraved sex freak!
Judy: (shouting) Are you talking to us?!
Charles: Don’t listen to them, Judy, don’t!
Mildred: Yes, I’m talking to you. You hussy! Get off my lawn.
Mildred goes into her house again.
Judy: Charles. You’re bleeding. It was a wrench. Are you okay?
Charles: I’ll be fine.
Judy helps Charles up.
Charles: People don’t like me, because I’m different.
Judy: You’re different?
Charles: Yes.
Judy: I see. Do you mind telling me what it is?
Charles: I’d rather not talk about it. Can you take me home?
Judy: Yes.
Charles: Will you come inside?
Judy: I better not.
Charles: I could make you happy.
Judy: We’ll see.
Charles: Good.
Judy: Are you sure you are okay now?
Charles: I’m not sure.
They walk from whence they came.
Monday, June 11, 2007
Saturday, June 9, 2007
38: In Pursuit of what they Want
Janet’s Living Room. Janet sleeps on the couch. Michael comes in quietly and quite dirty. He goes immediately to his closet room. The telephone rings. It wakes Janet up and she answers frantically.
Janet: Hello?
Wendy is at home in the same position nearly 24 hours later.
Wendy: Hello. I’m fucking Rapunzel.
Janet: I don’t know a Rapunzel.
Wendy: Sure you do. From the tales?
Janet: I don’t know a Tales. Mrs. Tales?
Wendy: It’s me. Wendy.
Janet: Oh.
Wendy: I’m a mess, Janet. A mess.
Janet: Does that mean Rapunzel?
Wendy: No. No. No. You know the fairy tale. Rapunzel?
Janet: No. I only know Pinocchio.
Wendy: You and your Pinocchio. Geez.
Janet: I love him.
Wendy: I’m ruined, Janet. Ruined. Paul left me last night.
Janet: Really?
Wendy: Yeah. Mother has forbid him to come here again and if I want to see him, I have to go to HIM.
Janet: Is that so bad?
Wendy: Yes! Didn’t you hear about that sex criminal on the loose?
Janet: No.
Wendy: Well there is and he moved into my neighborhood.
Janet: Oh.
Wendy: And your friend, your friend Paula!
Janet: What about her?
Wendy: She had Paul and I in for marriage counseling yesterday afternoon.
Janet: Where is she? Where is she now?
Wendy: I don’t know. How should I know?
Janet: She’s missing.
Wendy: I hope she’s dead. She ruined it for Paul and I.
Janet: Don’t say that Wendy!
Wendy: I don’t care. I’m so mad right now.
Janet: Her son is alone. Nobody can find her. The police are looking.
Wendy: I told you I don’t care, Janet!
Janet: You are a mean person, Wendy.
Silence
Wendy: (attempting to squeeze out tears from dry ducts) Oh I’ve been crying all night. Don’t make me cry anymore.
Janet: Don’t say mean things about Paula. She’s the nicest woman I know. Nobody knows where she is.
Wendy: Good. I never want to see her again.
Janet: Are you that mean?
Wendy: Janet. She told me that I was a recluse and that I needed to get out more. I get out fine. What does she know?
Janet: When? When do you go out?
Wendy: The point is I do. Not when or how often.
Janet: Fine. Just don’t be mean to Paula. I’m very worried about her.
Wendy: I’m sorry, Janet, but we just might not have the same friends.
Janet: I know. I know that. I hope Paula comes home. Her son is at the police station. He had to go there after Michael and I waited all night for Paula to come home.
Wendy: I don’t care right now, Janet. I only care about seeing Paul.
Janet: Doesn’t sound very hard. Go over to his house.
Wendy: But mother. . .
Janet: Is she holding you down?
Wendy: No, but she would be disappointed.
Janet: My mother once said sometimes children make their parents mad, but in the end, the children are okay. Sometimes you have to make your mommy mad. That’s what my mommy says.
Wendy: I see. Hmmmm.
Janet: Don’t worry. Everything will get better.
Mildred enters Wendy’s room.
Wendy: Don’t you knock?
Mildred: Tomato soup and grilled cheese at the kitchen table. I think you should eat something.
Wendy: I think I’m going to cry more.
(simultaneously)
Mildred: Suit yourself. Starve. Who are you talking to?
Janet: Go eat, Wendy.
Wendy: It’s just Janet. My friend. Don’t worry. It’s not him.
Mildred: I’m not worried. I know you’ll make the right decision. You’re a big girl.
Mildred exits.
Wendy: She’s gone.
Janet: Your mom said that you’ll make the right decision.
Wendy: She means the one that she has made for me. To live in this house an old spinster.
Janet: No, she wants you to make your own choices. What’s a spinster? Is that somebody who puts records on and spins them around?
Wendy: No. It’s a pathetic, old woman alone.
Janet: I see. That doesn’t sound very fun.
Wendy: What does Paula know! She’s not even married. How can she tell people how to behave?
Janet: That’s her job. People do that all the time.
Wendy: I don’t buy it. Janet. I just don’t!
(simultaneously)
Janet: Stop yelling!
Mildred: (off) Stop yelling, Wendy!
Wendy: (quieter) Maybe you are right.
Janet: I think I am.
Wendy: Of course you do. You have made me feel better.
Janet: Good. That’s what friends are for.
Wendy: So how are your wedding plans coming?
Janet: Good. Well. We haven’t made any plans yet. (pause) Am I still going to wear a dress in your wedding?
Wendy: We’ll see.
There is a knock on Janet’s door.
Janet: Wendy. I have to go. Somebody is here. It could be Paula!
Wendy: Fine. Fine. But call me soon. I’m going to be lonely locked up here.
Janet: Has someone locked your door?
Wendy: No, but. . .
Janet: Who’s stopping you from leaving?
Wendy: Nobody, but-
Janet: Wendy. Just do what you want to do.
Wendy: Fine. I will. Somehow.
Janet: Good.
Another knock.
Wendy: Okay. Bye.
Janet: I’ll call you soon. Bye.
Janet opens the door. Bill stands there.
Janet: How did you get in? Who are you?
Bill: My name is Bill Meriwether. (He flashes a badge.) I’m with the local police department. Are you Janet Windhover?
Janet: Yes. Why?
Bill: I’m here investigating the disappearance of Paula Pluckston.
Janet: Oh. Yes. Please come in.
Bill: Are you okay?
Janet: I’m fine. Why?
Bill: You look very tired.
Janet: I am tired.
Bill: I am tired myself. I haven’t been to bed much last night.
Janet: Why?
Bill: I have been going over the evidence that I have collected so far. You are the first person that I am talking to about this.
Janet: Oh. Did you find Paula? Is she okay?
Bill: We hope so. We really do.
Janet: I hope so too. I’m so worried. Paula is my bestest friend.
Bill: I understand that. Would you mind answering some questions for me?
Janet: Sure.
Bill: According to phone records of this apartment, you phoned Paula a few nights before she disappeared.
Janet: Yes. I was worried.
Bill: Okay. Why?
Janet: I called her early in the morning because my boyfriend didn’t come home. I’m going to marry him. What’s that called?
Bill: What’s what called?
Janet: When you are going to marry someone? What are they called?
Bill: The husband? The wedding. I don’t know what you are referring to.
Janet: He’s my financial.
Bill: I think you mean fiancée.
Janet: That’s it. My fiancée didn’t come home.
Bill: I see.
Janet: So I called Paula because she has always looked after me.
Bill: Why wouldn’t you phone your parents?
Janet: They don’t care about stuff like that. Paula’s my bestest friend.
Bill: She’s your best friend. There’s no bestest.
Janet: Oh.
Bill: Now. What happened then?
Janet: She came over to be with me. She brought her son. The stayed the night until my boyfriend came back.
Bill: Where was your boyfriend?
Janet: He was at work.
Bill: Oh.
Janet: So I was wrong. He wasn’t in trouble. He was just at work.
Bill: I see. What happened when he arrived home? Was Paula still here?
Janet: Yeah. She was.
Bill: What happened then?
Janet: We all talked. Paula yelled at him.
Bill: Wait. She yelled at your fiancée?
Janet: Yes.
Bill: Why?
Janet: Because he made us worry, but he told me that he had told me he was going to be to work and that I had forgot.
Bill: Did you forget?
Janet: I don’t think so, but I might have forgot that he told me. So I might have.
Bill: Are you of sane mind and body, Janet?
Janet: What does that mean?
Bill: Do you have any medical conditions or?
Janet: I don’t think so.
Bill: I see.
Janet: But-
Bill: Yes?
Janet: I have down syndrome.
Bill: You do?
Janet: Yes.
Bill: I see. (writes, pause) That day what happened next?
Janet: Paula left with her son. Said she had to go to work.
Bill: Uh huh.
Janet: Do you know where she might be? I miss her so. I really do, Mr. Bill. I miss her.
Bill: I understand. Her son misses her too. He’s at the precinct. Do you know of any relatives that Ms. Pluckston has? That we might contact? There seems to be no one we can contact about her son.
Janet: You can contact me.
Bill: And I have contacted you. She had many notes about you in her office and since she was here like I suspected the morning of her disappearance, I am very glad that you spoke with me today.
Janet: Do you know anything?
Bill: Not really. Not really that I can disclose at this time.
Janet: Oh I’m so worried. (Janet begins to cry. Bill stares after her.) Paula is the only person –well- besides my boyfriend that I think I love.
Bill: You don’t love your family?
Janet: I do. But not as much.
Bill: I see.
Janet: You don’t know where she went?
Bill: She had an appointment yesterday with a couple at her office and then I can’t visibly find a trace of her. Her car is still at the Beverly Judith Berry House where she worked. But it is empty and any identification belonging to her is missing.
Janet: Is that good or bad?
Bill: Not anything yet. Do you know any reason why Paula would want to run away?
Janet: No.
Bill: Would Paula ever abandon her work?
Janet: Never. Duty was her saying. She told me that once.
Bill: Good to know. Did anybody hate Paula?
Janet: Hate her?
Bill: Maybe that’s too harsh of words. . .did anybody not really like her that you knew of?
Janet: No. Everybody liked-
Bill: Think.
Janet: Wait.
Bill: Yes?
Janet: I just talked to my friend. I don’t think she liked Paula.
Bill: Who is your friend?
Janet: Her name is Wendy Pierce. She hates people.
Bill: Really?
Janet: Why do you want to know this?
Bill: Janet. When somebody doesn’t like someone, they may want to harm them. You know what harm is?
Janet: Like slap them? Yes. I know what that is.
Bill: Good. Somebody may have wanted to harm or hurt Paula. Do you think that Wendy would do that?
Janet: I don’t think so. She doesn’t like to get near people.
Bill: I see. Well, I shouldn’t tell you this, but Wendy is the last recorded person to have seen Paula yesterday. I think this is suspicious. I do need to speak with her.
Janet: Oh. You don’t think-
Bill: We don’t make conclusions about anything until we have evidence of something, Janet. Don’t worry about that. Right now I just need to talk to her. Do you know where I can find her?
Janet: Yes. She lives with her mother. On Pine Lane.
Bill: I know exactly where that is. (writes, pause) Do you know why Wendy hated her?
Janet: I don’t think she hated her. I think she didn’t like her. She said Paula said mean things. But I think Paula said right things.
Bill: What did Paula say to Wendy? What did Wendy say that she said?
Janet: Wendy said that Paula ruined her chances with her boyfriend, Paul.
Bill: Were Paul and Paula intimate?
Janet: What’s intimate?
Bill: Were they close?
Janet: I don’t know. I don’t think so.
Bill: I see. Janet, thank you very much for your time. I don’t think that I will need anything else from you today. I will be calling you back though, I have no doubts about that. Here is my card. If you ever, EVER need anything from me or want to know anything about Paula, call this number. If you also think that you hear or see anything about Paula, I need you to call this number. Do you think that you can do that?
Janet: Yes. Yes of course.
Bill: I have to speak with some other people now. But let me know if you think anybody else would hurt Paula. Can you do that?
Janet: Yes. I think. I know how to use a phone.
Bill: Good.
Janet: Do you want anything to eat or drink, Mr. Bill?
Bill: Oh, I’m okay. Thank you.
Janet: Paula taught me that I’m always supposed to ask people if they are hungry when they come to my house and offer them something.
Bill: That’s very good of her. (He begins to leave.)
Janet: Mr. Bill-
Bill: Yes?
Janet: Do you think that you will find her?
Bill: I hope so. Is your boyfriend here?
Janet: No. I don’t think so.
Bill: Does he live here?
Janet: (Silence.)
Bill: I may want to speak to him.
Janet: I understand.
Bill: I will try back later. Thanks again.
Bill exits. Janet sits down and Michael comes out of the closet. He comes up behind Janet.
Michael: How are you doing?
Janet: UH! You scared me.
Michael: I’m sorry.
Janet: Did you hear the Mr. Bill man from the police station?
Michael: Yes. Yes I did.
Janet: Why didn’t you come out?
Michael: I was taking a nap. I had to work. Janet?
Janet: What?
Michael: Don’t tell him about me at all. Will you?
Janet: Why?
Michael: I am scared of him.
Janet: Why?
Michael: Police scare me sometimes. They are not always honest. They are like Pinocchio.
Janet: Then I like them. He’s trying to find Paula. Maybe his nose will be so big, he’ll find her!
Michael: No. (pause) They haven’t found her yet?
Janet: No.
Michael: I think of the giant whale in the story, Janet. I don’t think of Pinocchio when I think of police. I think of a giant whale that swallows you whole and will not let you breathe or see. I think of being inside a whale my whole life and I get scared.
Janet: Don’t be scared. They are trying to do good.
Michael: I try.
Janet: Are we going to get married?
Michael: Yes. Of course. Why do you ask?
Janet: Why don’t we act like it?
Michael: We do. I- I- I-(quickly) love you.
Janet: We should plan our wedding soon. We should.
Michael: We will. Maybe Paula would like to help. We can start just as soon as she turns up.
Janet: I hope she turns up soon.
Michael: Me too.
Janet: Hello?
Wendy is at home in the same position nearly 24 hours later.
Wendy: Hello. I’m fucking Rapunzel.
Janet: I don’t know a Rapunzel.
Wendy: Sure you do. From the tales?
Janet: I don’t know a Tales. Mrs. Tales?
Wendy: It’s me. Wendy.
Janet: Oh.
Wendy: I’m a mess, Janet. A mess.
Janet: Does that mean Rapunzel?
Wendy: No. No. No. You know the fairy tale. Rapunzel?
Janet: No. I only know Pinocchio.
Wendy: You and your Pinocchio. Geez.
Janet: I love him.
Wendy: I’m ruined, Janet. Ruined. Paul left me last night.
Janet: Really?
Wendy: Yeah. Mother has forbid him to come here again and if I want to see him, I have to go to HIM.
Janet: Is that so bad?
Wendy: Yes! Didn’t you hear about that sex criminal on the loose?
Janet: No.
Wendy: Well there is and he moved into my neighborhood.
Janet: Oh.
Wendy: And your friend, your friend Paula!
Janet: What about her?
Wendy: She had Paul and I in for marriage counseling yesterday afternoon.
Janet: Where is she? Where is she now?
Wendy: I don’t know. How should I know?
Janet: She’s missing.
Wendy: I hope she’s dead. She ruined it for Paul and I.
Janet: Don’t say that Wendy!
Wendy: I don’t care. I’m so mad right now.
Janet: Her son is alone. Nobody can find her. The police are looking.
Wendy: I told you I don’t care, Janet!
Janet: You are a mean person, Wendy.
Silence
Wendy: (attempting to squeeze out tears from dry ducts) Oh I’ve been crying all night. Don’t make me cry anymore.
Janet: Don’t say mean things about Paula. She’s the nicest woman I know. Nobody knows where she is.
Wendy: Good. I never want to see her again.
Janet: Are you that mean?
Wendy: Janet. She told me that I was a recluse and that I needed to get out more. I get out fine. What does she know?
Janet: When? When do you go out?
Wendy: The point is I do. Not when or how often.
Janet: Fine. Just don’t be mean to Paula. I’m very worried about her.
Wendy: I’m sorry, Janet, but we just might not have the same friends.
Janet: I know. I know that. I hope Paula comes home. Her son is at the police station. He had to go there after Michael and I waited all night for Paula to come home.
Wendy: I don’t care right now, Janet. I only care about seeing Paul.
Janet: Doesn’t sound very hard. Go over to his house.
Wendy: But mother. . .
Janet: Is she holding you down?
Wendy: No, but she would be disappointed.
Janet: My mother once said sometimes children make their parents mad, but in the end, the children are okay. Sometimes you have to make your mommy mad. That’s what my mommy says.
Wendy: I see. Hmmmm.
Janet: Don’t worry. Everything will get better.
Mildred enters Wendy’s room.
Wendy: Don’t you knock?
Mildred: Tomato soup and grilled cheese at the kitchen table. I think you should eat something.
Wendy: I think I’m going to cry more.
(simultaneously)
Mildred: Suit yourself. Starve. Who are you talking to?
Janet: Go eat, Wendy.
Wendy: It’s just Janet. My friend. Don’t worry. It’s not him.
Mildred: I’m not worried. I know you’ll make the right decision. You’re a big girl.
Mildred exits.
Wendy: She’s gone.
Janet: Your mom said that you’ll make the right decision.
Wendy: She means the one that she has made for me. To live in this house an old spinster.
Janet: No, she wants you to make your own choices. What’s a spinster? Is that somebody who puts records on and spins them around?
Wendy: No. It’s a pathetic, old woman alone.
Janet: I see. That doesn’t sound very fun.
Wendy: What does Paula know! She’s not even married. How can she tell people how to behave?
Janet: That’s her job. People do that all the time.
Wendy: I don’t buy it. Janet. I just don’t!
(simultaneously)
Janet: Stop yelling!
Mildred: (off) Stop yelling, Wendy!
Wendy: (quieter) Maybe you are right.
Janet: I think I am.
Wendy: Of course you do. You have made me feel better.
Janet: Good. That’s what friends are for.
Wendy: So how are your wedding plans coming?
Janet: Good. Well. We haven’t made any plans yet. (pause) Am I still going to wear a dress in your wedding?
Wendy: We’ll see.
There is a knock on Janet’s door.
Janet: Wendy. I have to go. Somebody is here. It could be Paula!
Wendy: Fine. Fine. But call me soon. I’m going to be lonely locked up here.
Janet: Has someone locked your door?
Wendy: No, but. . .
Janet: Who’s stopping you from leaving?
Wendy: Nobody, but-
Janet: Wendy. Just do what you want to do.
Wendy: Fine. I will. Somehow.
Janet: Good.
Another knock.
Wendy: Okay. Bye.
Janet: I’ll call you soon. Bye.
Janet opens the door. Bill stands there.
Janet: How did you get in? Who are you?
Bill: My name is Bill Meriwether. (He flashes a badge.) I’m with the local police department. Are you Janet Windhover?
Janet: Yes. Why?
Bill: I’m here investigating the disappearance of Paula Pluckston.
Janet: Oh. Yes. Please come in.
Bill: Are you okay?
Janet: I’m fine. Why?
Bill: You look very tired.
Janet: I am tired.
Bill: I am tired myself. I haven’t been to bed much last night.
Janet: Why?
Bill: I have been going over the evidence that I have collected so far. You are the first person that I am talking to about this.
Janet: Oh. Did you find Paula? Is she okay?
Bill: We hope so. We really do.
Janet: I hope so too. I’m so worried. Paula is my bestest friend.
Bill: I understand that. Would you mind answering some questions for me?
Janet: Sure.
Bill: According to phone records of this apartment, you phoned Paula a few nights before she disappeared.
Janet: Yes. I was worried.
Bill: Okay. Why?
Janet: I called her early in the morning because my boyfriend didn’t come home. I’m going to marry him. What’s that called?
Bill: What’s what called?
Janet: When you are going to marry someone? What are they called?
Bill: The husband? The wedding. I don’t know what you are referring to.
Janet: He’s my financial.
Bill: I think you mean fiancée.
Janet: That’s it. My fiancée didn’t come home.
Bill: I see.
Janet: So I called Paula because she has always looked after me.
Bill: Why wouldn’t you phone your parents?
Janet: They don’t care about stuff like that. Paula’s my bestest friend.
Bill: She’s your best friend. There’s no bestest.
Janet: Oh.
Bill: Now. What happened then?
Janet: She came over to be with me. She brought her son. The stayed the night until my boyfriend came back.
Bill: Where was your boyfriend?
Janet: He was at work.
Bill: Oh.
Janet: So I was wrong. He wasn’t in trouble. He was just at work.
Bill: I see. What happened when he arrived home? Was Paula still here?
Janet: Yeah. She was.
Bill: What happened then?
Janet: We all talked. Paula yelled at him.
Bill: Wait. She yelled at your fiancée?
Janet: Yes.
Bill: Why?
Janet: Because he made us worry, but he told me that he had told me he was going to be to work and that I had forgot.
Bill: Did you forget?
Janet: I don’t think so, but I might have forgot that he told me. So I might have.
Bill: Are you of sane mind and body, Janet?
Janet: What does that mean?
Bill: Do you have any medical conditions or?
Janet: I don’t think so.
Bill: I see.
Janet: But-
Bill: Yes?
Janet: I have down syndrome.
Bill: You do?
Janet: Yes.
Bill: I see. (writes, pause) That day what happened next?
Janet: Paula left with her son. Said she had to go to work.
Bill: Uh huh.
Janet: Do you know where she might be? I miss her so. I really do, Mr. Bill. I miss her.
Bill: I understand. Her son misses her too. He’s at the precinct. Do you know of any relatives that Ms. Pluckston has? That we might contact? There seems to be no one we can contact about her son.
Janet: You can contact me.
Bill: And I have contacted you. She had many notes about you in her office and since she was here like I suspected the morning of her disappearance, I am very glad that you spoke with me today.
Janet: Do you know anything?
Bill: Not really. Not really that I can disclose at this time.
Janet: Oh I’m so worried. (Janet begins to cry. Bill stares after her.) Paula is the only person –well- besides my boyfriend that I think I love.
Bill: You don’t love your family?
Janet: I do. But not as much.
Bill: I see.
Janet: You don’t know where she went?
Bill: She had an appointment yesterday with a couple at her office and then I can’t visibly find a trace of her. Her car is still at the Beverly Judith Berry House where she worked. But it is empty and any identification belonging to her is missing.
Janet: Is that good or bad?
Bill: Not anything yet. Do you know any reason why Paula would want to run away?
Janet: No.
Bill: Would Paula ever abandon her work?
Janet: Never. Duty was her saying. She told me that once.
Bill: Good to know. Did anybody hate Paula?
Janet: Hate her?
Bill: Maybe that’s too harsh of words. . .did anybody not really like her that you knew of?
Janet: No. Everybody liked-
Bill: Think.
Janet: Wait.
Bill: Yes?
Janet: I just talked to my friend. I don’t think she liked Paula.
Bill: Who is your friend?
Janet: Her name is Wendy Pierce. She hates people.
Bill: Really?
Janet: Why do you want to know this?
Bill: Janet. When somebody doesn’t like someone, they may want to harm them. You know what harm is?
Janet: Like slap them? Yes. I know what that is.
Bill: Good. Somebody may have wanted to harm or hurt Paula. Do you think that Wendy would do that?
Janet: I don’t think so. She doesn’t like to get near people.
Bill: I see. Well, I shouldn’t tell you this, but Wendy is the last recorded person to have seen Paula yesterday. I think this is suspicious. I do need to speak with her.
Janet: Oh. You don’t think-
Bill: We don’t make conclusions about anything until we have evidence of something, Janet. Don’t worry about that. Right now I just need to talk to her. Do you know where I can find her?
Janet: Yes. She lives with her mother. On Pine Lane.
Bill: I know exactly where that is. (writes, pause) Do you know why Wendy hated her?
Janet: I don’t think she hated her. I think she didn’t like her. She said Paula said mean things. But I think Paula said right things.
Bill: What did Paula say to Wendy? What did Wendy say that she said?
Janet: Wendy said that Paula ruined her chances with her boyfriend, Paul.
Bill: Were Paul and Paula intimate?
Janet: What’s intimate?
Bill: Were they close?
Janet: I don’t know. I don’t think so.
Bill: I see. Janet, thank you very much for your time. I don’t think that I will need anything else from you today. I will be calling you back though, I have no doubts about that. Here is my card. If you ever, EVER need anything from me or want to know anything about Paula, call this number. If you also think that you hear or see anything about Paula, I need you to call this number. Do you think that you can do that?
Janet: Yes. Yes of course.
Bill: I have to speak with some other people now. But let me know if you think anybody else would hurt Paula. Can you do that?
Janet: Yes. I think. I know how to use a phone.
Bill: Good.
Janet: Do you want anything to eat or drink, Mr. Bill?
Bill: Oh, I’m okay. Thank you.
Janet: Paula taught me that I’m always supposed to ask people if they are hungry when they come to my house and offer them something.
Bill: That’s very good of her. (He begins to leave.)
Janet: Mr. Bill-
Bill: Yes?
Janet: Do you think that you will find her?
Bill: I hope so. Is your boyfriend here?
Janet: No. I don’t think so.
Bill: Does he live here?
Janet: (Silence.)
Bill: I may want to speak to him.
Janet: I understand.
Bill: I will try back later. Thanks again.
Bill exits. Janet sits down and Michael comes out of the closet. He comes up behind Janet.
Michael: How are you doing?
Janet: UH! You scared me.
Michael: I’m sorry.
Janet: Did you hear the Mr. Bill man from the police station?
Michael: Yes. Yes I did.
Janet: Why didn’t you come out?
Michael: I was taking a nap. I had to work. Janet?
Janet: What?
Michael: Don’t tell him about me at all. Will you?
Janet: Why?
Michael: I am scared of him.
Janet: Why?
Michael: Police scare me sometimes. They are not always honest. They are like Pinocchio.
Janet: Then I like them. He’s trying to find Paula. Maybe his nose will be so big, he’ll find her!
Michael: No. (pause) They haven’t found her yet?
Janet: No.
Michael: I think of the giant whale in the story, Janet. I don’t think of Pinocchio when I think of police. I think of a giant whale that swallows you whole and will not let you breathe or see. I think of being inside a whale my whole life and I get scared.
Janet: Don’t be scared. They are trying to do good.
Michael: I try.
Janet: Are we going to get married?
Michael: Yes. Of course. Why do you ask?
Janet: Why don’t we act like it?
Michael: We do. I- I- I-(quickly) love you.
Janet: We should plan our wedding soon. We should.
Michael: We will. Maybe Paula would like to help. We can start just as soon as she turns up.
Janet: I hope she turns up soon.
Michael: Me too.
Wednesday, June 6, 2007
37: Top Secret Shit
Carol’s farm house. It is late evening. She sits in the foreground watching TV in her cluttered abode. Bob enters the screen door with a large carpet bag and he drags it.
Carol: Dang Nabbit. Who’s here?
Bob: Me.
Carol: Me who?
Bob: I’m just putting something in the closet.
Carol: Could you get me my footbath? Beau went to bed.
Bob: (Silence)
Carol: Bob?
Bob: (Silence)
Carol: Bob!?
Bob: What?
Carol: Did ya hear me?
Bob: Yes. This bag is heavy.
Carol: What are you bringing in here anyway?
Bob: Something a friend wants me to look after.
Carol: Look after? Look after what?
Bob: I don’t know. I don’t know what’s in it.
Carol: How can you look after something if you don’t know what your looking after?
Bob: I just am. I’m supposed to watch the bag.
Carol: Where you gonna put it?
Bob: I don’t know. Front closet.
Carol: Fine. Then get my footbath.
Bob opens the front closet. A mound of stuff falls out.
Carol: What was that?
Bob: The closet.
Carol: The closet made that noise?
Bob: No. I did. I made that noise.
Carol: Why?
Bob: Because the closet is full of shit. That’s why.
Carol: Well, god-bless-it Bob! (She gets up.)It’s not shit. It’s family things. Do I have to do everything around here?
Bob: No.
Carol: Let’s take a peeksee and see what’s in here.
Bob: No, I’m not supposed to.
Carol: Why not?
Bob: He told me not too.
Carol: He who?
Bob: My friend.
Carol: Who is he?
Bob: I didn’t say it was a he.
Carol: You did too, bless-it-all. You said he told me not to.
Bob: So? Doesn’t mean I mean a he.
Carol: Fine. Let’s get this cleaned up. I have to work in the morning.
Bob: Fine.
They clean.
Carol: Awww. My bunions ache. You have to go get my footbath now. I said now.
He exits. Carol looks over the bag and at one point begins to unzip it.
Carol: Say, Bob. I don’t know if I want this in here. What is it anyhow?
Bob: (off) I told ya. I don’t know.
Carol: Why don’t you know?
Bob: They didn’t tell me.
Carol: Why?
Bob: (off) They said it was top secret.
Carol: I see.
Bob: (off) I want to help my friend. Let’s keep it top secret.
Carol: That’s the most intelligent thing you’ve said, I think.
Bob: (off) Well, thank you, ma’m. I just wanna respect- (He enters.) Hey, whattya doin?
Carol: Why, nothing.
Bob: Don’t look like nothing.
Carol: Can you blame me?
Bob: No, but you have to respect this.
Carol: It’s my house, Bob.
Bob: You said that me, Tyler, and my brother Beau could live here.
Carol: That I did.
Bob: And we will. If you don’t look in there.
Carol: Are you blackmailing me?
Bob: No. But I will let you look in there on one condition.
Carol: What’s that?
Bob: You bring Janet here tomorrow.
Carol: I can’t do anything of the kind. I can’t promise you her.
Bob: I’m not asking you to promise me her. I’m asking her to come over. I think she’s pretty.
Carol: A lot of boys think she’s pretty. But she’s dumb and- and- and- NO! Just no. Gimme this and get out to your bunk.
Bob: First I gotta put this bag in here.
Carol: Fine.
Carol takes the footbath to her chair and sets it down grimacing.
Bob: (after putting the bag in the closet) Now I meant what I said, Carol.
Carol: Uh, huh. Got it.
Bob: Are you listening to me?
Carol: I heard you. I can’t look in the bag. Get out of my house.
Bob: I just want to make sure.
Carol: Watching my program. I can’t hear you sweetie. (She turns the volume of some game show up really loudly.)
Bob exits. Carol looks after the slamming door. Silence and only the flicker of the TV. After awhile, Carol gets up and turns off some lights. Only her chair is illuminated by the set. She comes back after awhile with some popcorn. She creeps over to the closet. She opens the door. Bob is there with a flashlight in her face. Carol screams.
Bob: What did I say to you?
Carol: Robert, you scared me half to death!
Bob: I know. I snuck back in here when I saw the lights go out.
Carol: Look at all this popcorn.
Bob: Carol, do you want to die?
Carol: Are you threatening me, Robert?
Bob: No. But the person who gave me the bag threatened me. They said if anybody looked in the bag, they would die.
Carol: Oh yeah?
Bob: Yeah.
Carol: I don’t think I would die.
Bob: I do. Now go sit down before I make you.
Carol: I should kick you out of here right now. Make me die? You talk about respect, young man and you threaten me and- and-
Bob: Who would do your farm work?
Carol: (Silence.)
Bob: None would do this for so little-
Carol: Fine. Fine. Just go to bed. I promise I won’t look in there tonight.
Bob: I’ll let you look if you bring Janet tomorrow.
Carol: But won’t I die?
Bob: No. I wouldn’t let them hurt you.
Carol: I don’t even want that bag here now.
Bob: Where’s it gonna go now? I’m not luggin’ that shit anywhere at this hour.
Carol: I want it out by tomorrow night! This is my house and I don’t want unidentified objects here.
Bob: Okay. I can get rid of it in the morning.
Carol: You better. I mean it.
Bob: If you bring Janet here.
The screen door slams with his exit.
Bob: (off) Oh and close the closet door. I forgot.
The closet door is slammed closed.
Carol: There. You happy now? Oh. I’m cleaning up this popcorn in the morning.
Carol: Dang Nabbit. Who’s here?
Bob: Me.
Carol: Me who?
Bob: I’m just putting something in the closet.
Carol: Could you get me my footbath? Beau went to bed.
Bob: (Silence)
Carol: Bob?
Bob: (Silence)
Carol: Bob!?
Bob: What?
Carol: Did ya hear me?
Bob: Yes. This bag is heavy.
Carol: What are you bringing in here anyway?
Bob: Something a friend wants me to look after.
Carol: Look after? Look after what?
Bob: I don’t know. I don’t know what’s in it.
Carol: How can you look after something if you don’t know what your looking after?
Bob: I just am. I’m supposed to watch the bag.
Carol: Where you gonna put it?
Bob: I don’t know. Front closet.
Carol: Fine. Then get my footbath.
Bob opens the front closet. A mound of stuff falls out.
Carol: What was that?
Bob: The closet.
Carol: The closet made that noise?
Bob: No. I did. I made that noise.
Carol: Why?
Bob: Because the closet is full of shit. That’s why.
Carol: Well, god-bless-it Bob! (She gets up.)It’s not shit. It’s family things. Do I have to do everything around here?
Bob: No.
Carol: Let’s take a peeksee and see what’s in here.
Bob: No, I’m not supposed to.
Carol: Why not?
Bob: He told me not too.
Carol: He who?
Bob: My friend.
Carol: Who is he?
Bob: I didn’t say it was a he.
Carol: You did too, bless-it-all. You said he told me not to.
Bob: So? Doesn’t mean I mean a he.
Carol: Fine. Let’s get this cleaned up. I have to work in the morning.
Bob: Fine.
They clean.
Carol: Awww. My bunions ache. You have to go get my footbath now. I said now.
He exits. Carol looks over the bag and at one point begins to unzip it.
Carol: Say, Bob. I don’t know if I want this in here. What is it anyhow?
Bob: (off) I told ya. I don’t know.
Carol: Why don’t you know?
Bob: They didn’t tell me.
Carol: Why?
Bob: (off) They said it was top secret.
Carol: I see.
Bob: (off) I want to help my friend. Let’s keep it top secret.
Carol: That’s the most intelligent thing you’ve said, I think.
Bob: (off) Well, thank you, ma’m. I just wanna respect- (He enters.) Hey, whattya doin?
Carol: Why, nothing.
Bob: Don’t look like nothing.
Carol: Can you blame me?
Bob: No, but you have to respect this.
Carol: It’s my house, Bob.
Bob: You said that me, Tyler, and my brother Beau could live here.
Carol: That I did.
Bob: And we will. If you don’t look in there.
Carol: Are you blackmailing me?
Bob: No. But I will let you look in there on one condition.
Carol: What’s that?
Bob: You bring Janet here tomorrow.
Carol: I can’t do anything of the kind. I can’t promise you her.
Bob: I’m not asking you to promise me her. I’m asking her to come over. I think she’s pretty.
Carol: A lot of boys think she’s pretty. But she’s dumb and- and- and- NO! Just no. Gimme this and get out to your bunk.
Bob: First I gotta put this bag in here.
Carol: Fine.
Carol takes the footbath to her chair and sets it down grimacing.
Bob: (after putting the bag in the closet) Now I meant what I said, Carol.
Carol: Uh, huh. Got it.
Bob: Are you listening to me?
Carol: I heard you. I can’t look in the bag. Get out of my house.
Bob: I just want to make sure.
Carol: Watching my program. I can’t hear you sweetie. (She turns the volume of some game show up really loudly.)
Bob exits. Carol looks after the slamming door. Silence and only the flicker of the TV. After awhile, Carol gets up and turns off some lights. Only her chair is illuminated by the set. She comes back after awhile with some popcorn. She creeps over to the closet. She opens the door. Bob is there with a flashlight in her face. Carol screams.
Bob: What did I say to you?
Carol: Robert, you scared me half to death!
Bob: I know. I snuck back in here when I saw the lights go out.
Carol: Look at all this popcorn.
Bob: Carol, do you want to die?
Carol: Are you threatening me, Robert?
Bob: No. But the person who gave me the bag threatened me. They said if anybody looked in the bag, they would die.
Carol: Oh yeah?
Bob: Yeah.
Carol: I don’t think I would die.
Bob: I do. Now go sit down before I make you.
Carol: I should kick you out of here right now. Make me die? You talk about respect, young man and you threaten me and- and-
Bob: Who would do your farm work?
Carol: (Silence.)
Bob: None would do this for so little-
Carol: Fine. Fine. Just go to bed. I promise I won’t look in there tonight.
Bob: I’ll let you look if you bring Janet tomorrow.
Carol: But won’t I die?
Bob: No. I wouldn’t let them hurt you.
Carol: I don’t even want that bag here now.
Bob: Where’s it gonna go now? I’m not luggin’ that shit anywhere at this hour.
Carol: I want it out by tomorrow night! This is my house and I don’t want unidentified objects here.
Bob: Okay. I can get rid of it in the morning.
Carol: You better. I mean it.
Bob: If you bring Janet here.
The screen door slams with his exit.
Bob: (off) Oh and close the closet door. I forgot.
The closet door is slammed closed.
Carol: There. You happy now? Oh. I’m cleaning up this popcorn in the morning.
Tuesday, June 5, 2007
36: The Strangest Family Dinner Ever
The Andreas Kitchen. Clara makes a beef stew. Kitty sits on the floor playing with marbles. Judy comes in sweaty from working out.
Judy: Is that beef I smell?
Clara: Yes. Now go unsmell yourself. Dinner will be ready soon.
Judy: I know. Oh, Clara, did I mention that Alfie is having people over from work this evening for a business meeting?
Clara: You didn’t say anything about that. I don’t have enough plates, Senora.
Judy: Don’t worry about it. I’ll take care of everything. It’s just one man from the company, some Bill something or other. I just won’t eat.
Clara: Fine. Because I do want to eat.
Kitty: I don’t. I hate beef stew. Yuck.
Judy: Kitty. Be nice. I won’t tell you again to be nice to the hired help.
Clara feigns a smile.
Judy: But Clara, I’ll make sure there is enough if you go and get the laundry off the line for me. I really need to get this shower in and I just don’t think there will be enough time.
Clara: Ms. Judy, I don’t see how this is going to-
Judy: (rage) Just do what I ask for God’s love, please.
Clara: Yes, Senora.
Judy: Now. Por favor.
Clara: Yes. Yes. Right away.
Clara bows out and Judy goes to work at the counter. She takes out the familiar bag with the bottle and puts some of the stuff into the beef stew pot. She then takes several cans of water to thicken the broth, just when Clara enters.
Clara: Oh mios dio! What did you do? Che haces?
Judy: (pouring the water) I just thickened the broth. Get over it.
Clara: You’ll dilute the flavor.
Judy: Exactly.
Clara: That’s not how it’s supposed to be.
Judy: Yes it is when I had it last. I remember it was too strong. Too beef boullin-y.
Clara: But you aren’t eating any!
Judy: But Bill is. And I hear he’s a beefy man. He will want a lot.
Clara: Probably his flavor intact too.
Judy: Maybe.
Kitty: Bill has no flavor. He’s all business.
Judy: Where did you hear that?
Kitty: Daddy.
Judy: Yes. Yes. I have to take a shower, now don’t bother mommy for the rest of the night.
Clara looks back disapprovingly as Judy exits. A few moments later, Alfred enters with Bill Meriwether and his secretary Cindy. Kitty runs to the door to greet them.
Kitty: Daddy! Daddy!
Alfred: (lifts her feebly) How’s my little-
Bill: Whoa, there.
Alfred: I’m alright. I’m fine. How’s my dear?
Kitty: Good. Could you put me down? You’re hurting me.
Alfred: Of course dear.
Kitty: Who’s the pretty lady?
Cindy: Oh aren’t you cute? I’m Cindy. I’m your Daddy’s secretary.
Kitty: Mommy says Daddy doesn’t have secretarys.
Cindy: (fake laugh) Oh really.
Kitty: Yeah. She says-
Alfred: That’s enough. Enough of that. I’m sure you both are hungry.
Cindy: Sorta.
Bill: Very.
Alfred: Clara, something smells very good. What is it?
Clara: I made your favorite. Beef Stew.
Alfred: It smells delicious.
Bill: It really does, Clara.
Cindy: Yummy. I’m sure.
Clara: Let’s hope. You can all have a seat at the table, if you wish and then I will bring the stew over.
Alfred: Where’s Judy?
Clara: Ms. Judy is in the shower.
Alfred: I see.
Clara: She didn’t know there would be more than two of you.
Alfred: That’s fine.
Clara: Oh, I know it’s fine. She just didn’t know.
Alfred: Okay. Good. You can all have a seat. Anything to drink, gentlemen? And that does include you, Cindy.
Cindy: Oh anything is fine.
Kitty: Does it include me?
Alfred: No, it doesn’t, Kitty pie. Would you mind playing in your room until dinner is served?
Kitty: Okay. Wait. Here’s a marble for you, pretty lady.
Cindy: Oh, thank you.
Alfred: Her name is Cindy, Kitty. Cindy.
Kitty: Hi, Cindy-Kitty-Cindy. My name is just Kitty.
Alfred: Okay. That’s enough. Let’s get down to business.
Throughout Clara brings dishes over the table and begins to serve the beef stew.
Bill: Alfred, are you sure he’s the right man?
Alfred: Bill, I tell you he is. He’s just about the most right man there is.
Bill: But he has been carrying on shadily. I have dealings with. . .
Judy enters drying her hair. She stops abruptly staring at the dinner table. The three have bowls of beef stew and are all business. Papers are laid out. Pens mixed with silverware. Clara takes her place at the other end of the table.
Alfred: I don’t want to hear about him. What we need to figure out is how to make him a successor.
Bill: A successor to what?
Alfred: You know.
Judy: Yes, Alfie, of what?
Alfred: I won’t tell you again to stay out of this, Judy, honey. Please go back to the bedroom.
Judy: I see.
Alfred: Okay. Now, I understand-
Judy: But Clara. . . has made me this bowl of beef stew which I am going to eat. Because I live in this house.
She sits unsteadily. She shoves Clara out of the seat.
Alfred: Take it in the other room.
Clara: Excuse me, Ms. Judy, but Senora, I have prepared this meal and you said that you would not have any for your error in not telling me that there were three people coming to this dinner. Do you not see three people, three, two men, one lady? They are having a meeting.
Silence
Judy: Yes, I see three people, Clara. Good day.
Clara begins to exit.
Judy: I would really hate it if my husband were to interrupt me at this point, but I would just like to tell you Clara that one day, you will THANK me for this. One day you will thank me for this. For some, hardships prove to be successes and others hardships prove to become failures. But I am married to this man and come hell or high water, I will share this house with him. Even if it brings us to the end of our days and in the process makes us feel like crap. Isn’t that what we said, Alfie? Til death do us part.
Long Silence
Judy: Eat up. The lovely stew that Clara made, i.e. that your stew before you is getting cold.
Clara exits. They all grab nervously for their forks and spoons and eat rapidly.
Judy: As you were saying.
Bill: Well, might you name the successor now?
Alfred: I’d rather not. It’s not the right time.
Judy: What’s not the right time?
Alfred: To name the successor to the company of candy that I own dear. That’s enough please. We must talk without you here. You can listen, but please stay silent.
Judy: As you wish. (She slurps her stew)
Cindy: (to Alfred) I wouldn’t come home either. No, I wouldn’t Freddie.
Judy: Listen, you bitch. This is my house. Not yours. Not yours. Do you even know who lived here before you? Before me even.
Bill: Has she been drinking?
Judy: Because I could tell you. She is fucking dead now. Killed herself right before he married me. And now I’ve obviously gone insane. . .because here is my husband with his conniving friends one probably his lover and he is telling me that I won’t get a stitch of this money because he’s going to name a successor. Lovely. So let me tell you, bitch, that it won’t be you, but it’ll be a younger more attractive version of you, because let me tell you something, they are as dispensable as dimes and you are nothing but a penny candy.
And another thing. You can do this under my roof, but you can’t live with the consequences.
Judy exits. Alfred looks rather embarrassed.
Alfred: I’m sorry about that.
Cindy: Does she drink?
Alfred: Clara? Clara?
Bill: Do you have a bell?
Clara enters.
Clara: Yes?
Alfred: The beef stew is there. It hasn’t gotten cold. Please don’t let it go to waste. She didn’t finish it and it is so good. Let’s not let it go to waste.
Clara: Ugh, anything she has a hand in doesn’t taste good. She makes everything badly.
Alfred: I thought it was you who was adding some licorice to everything that we eat.
Clara: I’m not adding licorice to anything. That is her doing. I don’t know how she does it but she adds some special spice or something that she likes to all the meals. She doesn’t ask, she just does.
Bill: But I barely taste the licorice though.
Alfred: Yes, I’ve gotten so used to it, I don’t notice it in my system.
They all laugh.
Cindy: Oh, Freddie, I could get you the best meals ever if you came to live with me.
Alfred: A mansion for an apartment. Cindy, let’s start talking realities. You can move in here.
Cindy: Are you for real? Are you fucking for real, Freddie?
Judy enters.
Judy: What now? What’s going on?
Alfred: We’re going to be having a house guest. Her name is Cindy.
Cindy waves. Bill looks into his hand.
Kitty: (entering) Yeah, pretty lady is going to stay with us.
Judy: Good, because I am going out with our neighbor, Charles.
Alfred: Good.
Clara laughs and Cindy smiles. Bill looks bewildered. Judy stands there flustered putting her coat on. A cell phone goes off.
Cindy: It’s me?
Alfred: I hope it’s that Paula woman calling me back.
Bill: Paula, woman?
Alfred: This Paula woman wanted to get in touch with me. She said it was life or death. I didn’t know her at all. It was pretty weird.
Judy: Probably a secretary.
Alfred: No.
Bill: (realizing it’s his phone) Excuse me. Hello? Oh. I see. I see. Uh huh. No. No. Now is a good time. I’ll be right over. See you soon.
Everyone waits.
Bill: This is pretty fucking weird, but a Paula Pluckston is missing and the force wants me to take on the case. Is this Paula that you were having a life or death matter with happen to be a case worker at the Beverly Judith Berry House?
Alfred: Perhaps.
Bill: She could be dead. Anyway I gotta go. Probably shouldn’t be here in matters of your business anyway.
Alfred: Bill-
Judy: Bill, I’ll escort you out so the family can be alone.
Bill: Thank you. I’m sorry everyone. I’m sorry, Judy.
Judy: Can it, Bill. I know you’re still his friend.
They exit.
Kitty: Is pretty lady staying with us for good?
Alfred: I don’t know about for good.
Cindy: I don’t know about at all, Freddie. This is weird. I didn’t like this.
Alfred: Don’t let her scare you. She’s a lot of talk.
Cindy: Oh, okay. Gee, I feel kinda nauseous.
Clara: Nauseated. You feel nauseated. If you were nauseous you would be the puke or something like that.
Alfred: I don’t feel well either.
Kitty at the window.
Kitty: Mr. Bill is throwing up on the driveway. Judy mommy jumped out of the way. Come look Cindy-Kitty-Cindy.
Cindy: That’s okay. I can look at my own vomit.
Cindy throws up.
Alfred: When is this going to end?
Clara: When this place burns to the ground, Mr. Alfred. That’s when. And I mean your whole company, but uh, until then, this is life.
Alfred: I’m too old to live like this any longer.
Clara: Then you die.
Alfred: I feel like I will soon.
Judy: Is that beef I smell?
Clara: Yes. Now go unsmell yourself. Dinner will be ready soon.
Judy: I know. Oh, Clara, did I mention that Alfie is having people over from work this evening for a business meeting?
Clara: You didn’t say anything about that. I don’t have enough plates, Senora.
Judy: Don’t worry about it. I’ll take care of everything. It’s just one man from the company, some Bill something or other. I just won’t eat.
Clara: Fine. Because I do want to eat.
Kitty: I don’t. I hate beef stew. Yuck.
Judy: Kitty. Be nice. I won’t tell you again to be nice to the hired help.
Clara feigns a smile.
Judy: But Clara, I’ll make sure there is enough if you go and get the laundry off the line for me. I really need to get this shower in and I just don’t think there will be enough time.
Clara: Ms. Judy, I don’t see how this is going to-
Judy: (rage) Just do what I ask for God’s love, please.
Clara: Yes, Senora.
Judy: Now. Por favor.
Clara: Yes. Yes. Right away.
Clara bows out and Judy goes to work at the counter. She takes out the familiar bag with the bottle and puts some of the stuff into the beef stew pot. She then takes several cans of water to thicken the broth, just when Clara enters.
Clara: Oh mios dio! What did you do? Che haces?
Judy: (pouring the water) I just thickened the broth. Get over it.
Clara: You’ll dilute the flavor.
Judy: Exactly.
Clara: That’s not how it’s supposed to be.
Judy: Yes it is when I had it last. I remember it was too strong. Too beef boullin-y.
Clara: But you aren’t eating any!
Judy: But Bill is. And I hear he’s a beefy man. He will want a lot.
Clara: Probably his flavor intact too.
Judy: Maybe.
Kitty: Bill has no flavor. He’s all business.
Judy: Where did you hear that?
Kitty: Daddy.
Judy: Yes. Yes. I have to take a shower, now don’t bother mommy for the rest of the night.
Clara looks back disapprovingly as Judy exits. A few moments later, Alfred enters with Bill Meriwether and his secretary Cindy. Kitty runs to the door to greet them.
Kitty: Daddy! Daddy!
Alfred: (lifts her feebly) How’s my little-
Bill: Whoa, there.
Alfred: I’m alright. I’m fine. How’s my dear?
Kitty: Good. Could you put me down? You’re hurting me.
Alfred: Of course dear.
Kitty: Who’s the pretty lady?
Cindy: Oh aren’t you cute? I’m Cindy. I’m your Daddy’s secretary.
Kitty: Mommy says Daddy doesn’t have secretarys.
Cindy: (fake laugh) Oh really.
Kitty: Yeah. She says-
Alfred: That’s enough. Enough of that. I’m sure you both are hungry.
Cindy: Sorta.
Bill: Very.
Alfred: Clara, something smells very good. What is it?
Clara: I made your favorite. Beef Stew.
Alfred: It smells delicious.
Bill: It really does, Clara.
Cindy: Yummy. I’m sure.
Clara: Let’s hope. You can all have a seat at the table, if you wish and then I will bring the stew over.
Alfred: Where’s Judy?
Clara: Ms. Judy is in the shower.
Alfred: I see.
Clara: She didn’t know there would be more than two of you.
Alfred: That’s fine.
Clara: Oh, I know it’s fine. She just didn’t know.
Alfred: Okay. Good. You can all have a seat. Anything to drink, gentlemen? And that does include you, Cindy.
Cindy: Oh anything is fine.
Kitty: Does it include me?
Alfred: No, it doesn’t, Kitty pie. Would you mind playing in your room until dinner is served?
Kitty: Okay. Wait. Here’s a marble for you, pretty lady.
Cindy: Oh, thank you.
Alfred: Her name is Cindy, Kitty. Cindy.
Kitty: Hi, Cindy-Kitty-Cindy. My name is just Kitty.
Alfred: Okay. That’s enough. Let’s get down to business.
Throughout Clara brings dishes over the table and begins to serve the beef stew.
Bill: Alfred, are you sure he’s the right man?
Alfred: Bill, I tell you he is. He’s just about the most right man there is.
Bill: But he has been carrying on shadily. I have dealings with. . .
Judy enters drying her hair. She stops abruptly staring at the dinner table. The three have bowls of beef stew and are all business. Papers are laid out. Pens mixed with silverware. Clara takes her place at the other end of the table.
Alfred: I don’t want to hear about him. What we need to figure out is how to make him a successor.
Bill: A successor to what?
Alfred: You know.
Judy: Yes, Alfie, of what?
Alfred: I won’t tell you again to stay out of this, Judy, honey. Please go back to the bedroom.
Judy: I see.
Alfred: Okay. Now, I understand-
Judy: But Clara. . . has made me this bowl of beef stew which I am going to eat. Because I live in this house.
She sits unsteadily. She shoves Clara out of the seat.
Alfred: Take it in the other room.
Clara: Excuse me, Ms. Judy, but Senora, I have prepared this meal and you said that you would not have any for your error in not telling me that there were three people coming to this dinner. Do you not see three people, three, two men, one lady? They are having a meeting.
Silence
Judy: Yes, I see three people, Clara. Good day.
Clara begins to exit.
Judy: I would really hate it if my husband were to interrupt me at this point, but I would just like to tell you Clara that one day, you will THANK me for this. One day you will thank me for this. For some, hardships prove to be successes and others hardships prove to become failures. But I am married to this man and come hell or high water, I will share this house with him. Even if it brings us to the end of our days and in the process makes us feel like crap. Isn’t that what we said, Alfie? Til death do us part.
Long Silence
Judy: Eat up. The lovely stew that Clara made, i.e. that your stew before you is getting cold.
Clara exits. They all grab nervously for their forks and spoons and eat rapidly.
Judy: As you were saying.
Bill: Well, might you name the successor now?
Alfred: I’d rather not. It’s not the right time.
Judy: What’s not the right time?
Alfred: To name the successor to the company of candy that I own dear. That’s enough please. We must talk without you here. You can listen, but please stay silent.
Judy: As you wish. (She slurps her stew)
Cindy: (to Alfred) I wouldn’t come home either. No, I wouldn’t Freddie.
Judy: Listen, you bitch. This is my house. Not yours. Not yours. Do you even know who lived here before you? Before me even.
Bill: Has she been drinking?
Judy: Because I could tell you. She is fucking dead now. Killed herself right before he married me. And now I’ve obviously gone insane. . .because here is my husband with his conniving friends one probably his lover and he is telling me that I won’t get a stitch of this money because he’s going to name a successor. Lovely. So let me tell you, bitch, that it won’t be you, but it’ll be a younger more attractive version of you, because let me tell you something, they are as dispensable as dimes and you are nothing but a penny candy.
And another thing. You can do this under my roof, but you can’t live with the consequences.
Judy exits. Alfred looks rather embarrassed.
Alfred: I’m sorry about that.
Cindy: Does she drink?
Alfred: Clara? Clara?
Bill: Do you have a bell?
Clara enters.
Clara: Yes?
Alfred: The beef stew is there. It hasn’t gotten cold. Please don’t let it go to waste. She didn’t finish it and it is so good. Let’s not let it go to waste.
Clara: Ugh, anything she has a hand in doesn’t taste good. She makes everything badly.
Alfred: I thought it was you who was adding some licorice to everything that we eat.
Clara: I’m not adding licorice to anything. That is her doing. I don’t know how she does it but she adds some special spice or something that she likes to all the meals. She doesn’t ask, she just does.
Bill: But I barely taste the licorice though.
Alfred: Yes, I’ve gotten so used to it, I don’t notice it in my system.
They all laugh.
Cindy: Oh, Freddie, I could get you the best meals ever if you came to live with me.
Alfred: A mansion for an apartment. Cindy, let’s start talking realities. You can move in here.
Cindy: Are you for real? Are you fucking for real, Freddie?
Judy enters.
Judy: What now? What’s going on?
Alfred: We’re going to be having a house guest. Her name is Cindy.
Cindy waves. Bill looks into his hand.
Kitty: (entering) Yeah, pretty lady is going to stay with us.
Judy: Good, because I am going out with our neighbor, Charles.
Alfred: Good.
Clara laughs and Cindy smiles. Bill looks bewildered. Judy stands there flustered putting her coat on. A cell phone goes off.
Cindy: It’s me?
Alfred: I hope it’s that Paula woman calling me back.
Bill: Paula, woman?
Alfred: This Paula woman wanted to get in touch with me. She said it was life or death. I didn’t know her at all. It was pretty weird.
Judy: Probably a secretary.
Alfred: No.
Bill: (realizing it’s his phone) Excuse me. Hello? Oh. I see. I see. Uh huh. No. No. Now is a good time. I’ll be right over. See you soon.
Everyone waits.
Bill: This is pretty fucking weird, but a Paula Pluckston is missing and the force wants me to take on the case. Is this Paula that you were having a life or death matter with happen to be a case worker at the Beverly Judith Berry House?
Alfred: Perhaps.
Bill: She could be dead. Anyway I gotta go. Probably shouldn’t be here in matters of your business anyway.
Alfred: Bill-
Judy: Bill, I’ll escort you out so the family can be alone.
Bill: Thank you. I’m sorry everyone. I’m sorry, Judy.
Judy: Can it, Bill. I know you’re still his friend.
They exit.
Kitty: Is pretty lady staying with us for good?
Alfred: I don’t know about for good.
Cindy: I don’t know about at all, Freddie. This is weird. I didn’t like this.
Alfred: Don’t let her scare you. She’s a lot of talk.
Cindy: Oh, okay. Gee, I feel kinda nauseous.
Clara: Nauseated. You feel nauseated. If you were nauseous you would be the puke or something like that.
Alfred: I don’t feel well either.
Kitty at the window.
Kitty: Mr. Bill is throwing up on the driveway. Judy mommy jumped out of the way. Come look Cindy-Kitty-Cindy.
Cindy: That’s okay. I can look at my own vomit.
Cindy throws up.
Alfred: When is this going to end?
Clara: When this place burns to the ground, Mr. Alfred. That’s when. And I mean your whole company, but uh, until then, this is life.
Alfred: I’m too old to live like this any longer.
Clara: Then you die.
Alfred: I feel like I will soon.
35: Tissues and Tears At the Seams
Wendy’s Bedroom. Wendy is in bed. She is under the covers. A TV with antennas plays something on it. Wendy holds a box of tissues to her breast and one hand near her nose. She sobs. The TV sings of sap. Her bedroom door opens and Paul sneaks in.
Wendy: Paul!
Paul: Wendy, I-
Wendy: Mother’ll kill you if she finds you up here.
Paul: I don’t care. Wendy, I don’t. Honestly, I’m going to marry you and the wedding is next month. We haven’t planned anything. Most of the problem is that you get so spastic everytime you think of the wedding.
Wendy: I can’t help it. At least keep your voice down.
Paul: Fine. But we need to speak. Why are you still in bed?
Wendy: I didn’t go to work today.
Paul: Wendy-
Wendy: What?
Paul: Don’t tell me.
Wendy: Tell you what?
Paul: That you quit your job.
Wendy: Fine, I won’t tell you that.
Paul: WENDY! I can’t believe you. You have got to be kidding me. Yesterday in our session with that Paula woman, you said that you would not quit. But this just proves it. It proves it full force. You are getting worse. . .your- your disorder.
Wendy: It is not a disorder!
Paul: It most certainly is. Look at you. Look at this dark room with it’s heavy curtains. You don’t even get light in here. How can you live?
Wendy: Paul, don’t talk that way to me!
Paul: How can I not? I know I said I wanted to live simply but not in some mole hole!
Wendy: Don’t call my house a mole hole!
Mildred appears at the door.
Mildred: Why, Wendy- Paul. I should have known. Stop it. Stop right now. You of all people should not be in here. Not at this moment. What is wrong with you?
Paul: What are you talking about?
Mildred: What do you mean what am I talking about? You dragging my daughter yesterday into marriage counseling with that quack woman.
Paul: She was not a quack. She said some very nice things.
Wendy: Paul, she said some very horrible things. She said I was reclusive by nature and that I had to go out more. That’s horrible!
Paul: Why is that horrible? That’s pinpointing the problem right in its fucking arse!
Wendy: I don’t have a problem, Paul. This is my life.
Mildred: Wendy’s a shy girl, Paul. She’s not a big sinner like some of those floosy girls.
Wendy: That’s right.
Paul: Mildred, I’m sorry Ms. Pierce I mean, this is not normal. Your daughter can’t even be seen by people. She should be a fucking middle eastern shiek-y woman for all I care. She doesn’t want anybody to gaze on her. Is that normal?
Wendy: I want you and Mother to gaze on me. I just don’t like others.
Paul: See! See! This is what I mean. How can the both of you consider this normal.
Mildred: I can and I will. Paul, this is my household and I am not ready to give it to you. No. Not at all. Not with you behaving like a lunatic from bedlam. Paul. Paul. You cannot come into this house without knocking on the front door and asking to be seen with my daughter, but only then with a chaperone, that is when she is here in her bed, in her night clothes.
Paul: Listen to how you talk. You talk like you are from the 18 fucking 90s.
Mildred: Don’t use words like fuck to me. Do you hear me, young man?
Paul: Wendy. I can’t listen to her anymore. When you feel ready to cut the cord-
Wendy: Cord? What cord?
Paul: I don’t know. The leash, the ambiliacal cord. . .whatever the fuck it is. . . please do and give me a call. I can’t take this any longer.
Mildred: Paul. You walk out of this house, you’re making a big mistake, young man.
Paul: Oh yeah?
Mildred: Don’t ever plan to set foot in it as long as I’m alive.
Wendy: Mother. Paul!
Paul: You heard me Wendy. So get it straight. You have more chances than this. Come with me. We can see that Paula woman again. She’ll make everything work for us.
Wendy: If that Paula woman were the last woman on earth, I wouldn’t even go to see her again. I hate her. I wouldn’t even go to the funeral even if she IS Janet’s friend.
Paul: Well, Good-bye, Wendy.
Wendy: Paul, wait.
Mildred: Don’t ask him to wait. He’s garbage, Wendy. Garbage.
Paul: I can’t wait forever for you to come out of your shell. Good-bye, darling.
Mildred: Don’t kiss her. Aww. Filthy Lips.
Paul kisses her forehead, tears stream down Wendy’s face.
Paul: The door isn’t closed, Wendy. You can still make the right decision. I’ll wait.
Wendy: Paul, please don’t do this. Please. PLEASE!
Paul: Good night.
He exits.
Mildred: I told you he was worthless. Worthless.
Wendy: I know. But I love him. I LOVE HIM.
Mildred: I don’t see why.
Wendy: Leave me with my soaps. Get outta here, Mother. Just get out. Now.
Mildred: Very well. (Mildred exits with one last look back at her daughter with the tissues.)
Wendy: Paul!
Paul: Wendy, I-
Wendy: Mother’ll kill you if she finds you up here.
Paul: I don’t care. Wendy, I don’t. Honestly, I’m going to marry you and the wedding is next month. We haven’t planned anything. Most of the problem is that you get so spastic everytime you think of the wedding.
Wendy: I can’t help it. At least keep your voice down.
Paul: Fine. But we need to speak. Why are you still in bed?
Wendy: I didn’t go to work today.
Paul: Wendy-
Wendy: What?
Paul: Don’t tell me.
Wendy: Tell you what?
Paul: That you quit your job.
Wendy: Fine, I won’t tell you that.
Paul: WENDY! I can’t believe you. You have got to be kidding me. Yesterday in our session with that Paula woman, you said that you would not quit. But this just proves it. It proves it full force. You are getting worse. . .your- your disorder.
Wendy: It is not a disorder!
Paul: It most certainly is. Look at you. Look at this dark room with it’s heavy curtains. You don’t even get light in here. How can you live?
Wendy: Paul, don’t talk that way to me!
Paul: How can I not? I know I said I wanted to live simply but not in some mole hole!
Wendy: Don’t call my house a mole hole!
Mildred appears at the door.
Mildred: Why, Wendy- Paul. I should have known. Stop it. Stop right now. You of all people should not be in here. Not at this moment. What is wrong with you?
Paul: What are you talking about?
Mildred: What do you mean what am I talking about? You dragging my daughter yesterday into marriage counseling with that quack woman.
Paul: She was not a quack. She said some very nice things.
Wendy: Paul, she said some very horrible things. She said I was reclusive by nature and that I had to go out more. That’s horrible!
Paul: Why is that horrible? That’s pinpointing the problem right in its fucking arse!
Wendy: I don’t have a problem, Paul. This is my life.
Mildred: Wendy’s a shy girl, Paul. She’s not a big sinner like some of those floosy girls.
Wendy: That’s right.
Paul: Mildred, I’m sorry Ms. Pierce I mean, this is not normal. Your daughter can’t even be seen by people. She should be a fucking middle eastern shiek-y woman for all I care. She doesn’t want anybody to gaze on her. Is that normal?
Wendy: I want you and Mother to gaze on me. I just don’t like others.
Paul: See! See! This is what I mean. How can the both of you consider this normal.
Mildred: I can and I will. Paul, this is my household and I am not ready to give it to you. No. Not at all. Not with you behaving like a lunatic from bedlam. Paul. Paul. You cannot come into this house without knocking on the front door and asking to be seen with my daughter, but only then with a chaperone, that is when she is here in her bed, in her night clothes.
Paul: Listen to how you talk. You talk like you are from the 18 fucking 90s.
Mildred: Don’t use words like fuck to me. Do you hear me, young man?
Paul: Wendy. I can’t listen to her anymore. When you feel ready to cut the cord-
Wendy: Cord? What cord?
Paul: I don’t know. The leash, the ambiliacal cord. . .whatever the fuck it is. . . please do and give me a call. I can’t take this any longer.
Mildred: Paul. You walk out of this house, you’re making a big mistake, young man.
Paul: Oh yeah?
Mildred: Don’t ever plan to set foot in it as long as I’m alive.
Wendy: Mother. Paul!
Paul: You heard me Wendy. So get it straight. You have more chances than this. Come with me. We can see that Paula woman again. She’ll make everything work for us.
Wendy: If that Paula woman were the last woman on earth, I wouldn’t even go to see her again. I hate her. I wouldn’t even go to the funeral even if she IS Janet’s friend.
Paul: Well, Good-bye, Wendy.
Wendy: Paul, wait.
Mildred: Don’t ask him to wait. He’s garbage, Wendy. Garbage.
Paul: I can’t wait forever for you to come out of your shell. Good-bye, darling.
Mildred: Don’t kiss her. Aww. Filthy Lips.
Paul kisses her forehead, tears stream down Wendy’s face.
Paul: The door isn’t closed, Wendy. You can still make the right decision. I’ll wait.
Wendy: Paul, please don’t do this. Please. PLEASE!
Paul: Good night.
He exits.
Mildred: I told you he was worthless. Worthless.
Wendy: I know. But I love him. I LOVE HIM.
Mildred: I don’t see why.
Wendy: Leave me with my soaps. Get outta here, Mother. Just get out. Now.
Mildred: Very well. (Mildred exits with one last look back at her daughter with the tissues.)
34: Where have you gone?
The next morning. The offices of the Beverly Judith Berry House. Sue enters. She is a bright younger girl of twenty. She comes in and looks at her desk which is nicely set up and then goes to the other door in the room. The other door is slightly ajar. She peeks in.
Sue: Paula? Paula? Paula?
She goes to her desk drawer and takes out the keys.
Sue: Oh no.
The telephone rings.
Sue: Beverly Judith Berry House, Sue speaking.
Camden: (on phone) Yes. I’m calling to speak with Paula. She’s called me several times, but I was performing surgery around the clock yesterday and I didn’t have time to phone her back.
Sue: Oh. Did you want to leave a message? She isn’t in this morning.
Camden: No. No thank you. This is nothing unusual. Just have her call me if she wants.
Sue: Will do. Bye.
The telephone rings again.
Sue: Beverly Judith Berry House.
Alfred: Hello is a Ms. Paula Pluckston available?
Sue: I’m afraid not. She isn’t in this morning. Can I take a message?
Alfred: I’m rather worried. I don’t know her at all, but she called me yesterday and said it was a matter of life and death.
Sue: Really? Oh my.
Alfred: Yes. So I wanted to get a hold of her. Oh well. Have her call me at the Goode Candy Company when she gets in. My number is: 555-6781.
Sue: I’ve got it, sir.
Alfred: You are efficient.
Sue: I can type almost a hundred words a minute, sir.
Alfred: Nice. I might have a position opening for you down here. (He laughs)
Sue: Oh, you kid.
Alfred: Not really. But thank you. I’ll try back later.
Sue: Bye.
Alfred: Good bye.
Sue sits there blankly. After a moment she takes out a nail file and checks the hallway outside the office. She goes back to the desk and takes out a tabloid and starts reading. After awhile, she gasps at some of the articles. She reads and reads. Then she taps her nails on her desk. She picks up the phone.
Sue: Constance? Hi. Yeah. Sorry to bother you on your days off, but Paula never came in today. No. I don’t know what to do. She usually leaves me work in the morning on my desk, but she hasn’t. In fact, the keys were still in my desk when I came. I don’t even know if she locked up last night. Who would I ask? Oh I’ll call him. Thanks. Have a good rest of the vacation. Bye.
She dials another number.
Sue: Jim? Yes. Oh sorry to bother you. I was wondering if you saw Paula last night. You did? What time? Did you see her leave here? Oh. You were going to come down here? Her light? In her office? Hmmmm. That is not like her to leave the light on all night. Oh you can see it from the house?
Sue gets up and goes through the door into Paula’s office. She clicks off the light in the room. Goes to the window and waves.
Sue: Hi, there. Yeah that’s me. Well you go on and get out of here. I guess I didn’t realize it was on all night. I couldn’t tell when I came in. You should have come checked. Nobody can find her. Oh. Well I guess I should call her at home. I didn’t even try her cell phone yet. Thanks, Jim.
She puts the phone down and starts reading her magazine again. The telephone.
Sue: Beverly Judith Berry House-
Janet: Is Paula there?
Sue: Is this Janet?
Janet: Yes.
Sue: No, I’m afra-
Janet: She’s not?
Sue: No. No she isn’t.
Janet: I’m at her home –with her son. She didn’t come home last night.
Sue: She didn’t?
Janet: No. We were supposed to have dessert here with her. She never came home.
Sue: When was that at?
Janet: Seven pm.
Sue: That was almost 14 hours ago.
Janet: Yes.
Sue: I think we should call the police.
Janet: Yes, I do too. Frederick is crying. He won’t stop crying. Fred, stop it. Please.
Sue: Oh dear. I’m really very worried now.
Janet: Me too.
Sue: I’ll call the police.
Janet: I will too.
Sue: Well you don’t need to, if I do it.
Janet: If we both do it, then they will really think it’s a problem. And they will find her.
Sue: Sure. Sure they will.
Janet: Yeah.
Sue: So you are calling?
Janet: Yeah.
Sue: Let’s call each other when we get off the phone with them.
Janet: Okay.
Sue: Bye. Good luck.
Janet: By-
Sue hangs up. She goes back to reading her magazine. The clock ticks on.
Sue: Paula? Paula? Paula?
She goes to her desk drawer and takes out the keys.
Sue: Oh no.
The telephone rings.
Sue: Beverly Judith Berry House, Sue speaking.
Camden: (on phone) Yes. I’m calling to speak with Paula. She’s called me several times, but I was performing surgery around the clock yesterday and I didn’t have time to phone her back.
Sue: Oh. Did you want to leave a message? She isn’t in this morning.
Camden: No. No thank you. This is nothing unusual. Just have her call me if she wants.
Sue: Will do. Bye.
The telephone rings again.
Sue: Beverly Judith Berry House.
Alfred: Hello is a Ms. Paula Pluckston available?
Sue: I’m afraid not. She isn’t in this morning. Can I take a message?
Alfred: I’m rather worried. I don’t know her at all, but she called me yesterday and said it was a matter of life and death.
Sue: Really? Oh my.
Alfred: Yes. So I wanted to get a hold of her. Oh well. Have her call me at the Goode Candy Company when she gets in. My number is: 555-6781.
Sue: I’ve got it, sir.
Alfred: You are efficient.
Sue: I can type almost a hundred words a minute, sir.
Alfred: Nice. I might have a position opening for you down here. (He laughs)
Sue: Oh, you kid.
Alfred: Not really. But thank you. I’ll try back later.
Sue: Bye.
Alfred: Good bye.
Sue sits there blankly. After a moment she takes out a nail file and checks the hallway outside the office. She goes back to the desk and takes out a tabloid and starts reading. After awhile, she gasps at some of the articles. She reads and reads. Then she taps her nails on her desk. She picks up the phone.
Sue: Constance? Hi. Yeah. Sorry to bother you on your days off, but Paula never came in today. No. I don’t know what to do. She usually leaves me work in the morning on my desk, but she hasn’t. In fact, the keys were still in my desk when I came. I don’t even know if she locked up last night. Who would I ask? Oh I’ll call him. Thanks. Have a good rest of the vacation. Bye.
She dials another number.
Sue: Jim? Yes. Oh sorry to bother you. I was wondering if you saw Paula last night. You did? What time? Did you see her leave here? Oh. You were going to come down here? Her light? In her office? Hmmmm. That is not like her to leave the light on all night. Oh you can see it from the house?
Sue gets up and goes through the door into Paula’s office. She clicks off the light in the room. Goes to the window and waves.
Sue: Hi, there. Yeah that’s me. Well you go on and get out of here. I guess I didn’t realize it was on all night. I couldn’t tell when I came in. You should have come checked. Nobody can find her. Oh. Well I guess I should call her at home. I didn’t even try her cell phone yet. Thanks, Jim.
She puts the phone down and starts reading her magazine again. The telephone.
Sue: Beverly Judith Berry House-
Janet: Is Paula there?
Sue: Is this Janet?
Janet: Yes.
Sue: No, I’m afra-
Janet: She’s not?
Sue: No. No she isn’t.
Janet: I’m at her home –with her son. She didn’t come home last night.
Sue: She didn’t?
Janet: No. We were supposed to have dessert here with her. She never came home.
Sue: When was that at?
Janet: Seven pm.
Sue: That was almost 14 hours ago.
Janet: Yes.
Sue: I think we should call the police.
Janet: Yes, I do too. Frederick is crying. He won’t stop crying. Fred, stop it. Please.
Sue: Oh dear. I’m really very worried now.
Janet: Me too.
Sue: I’ll call the police.
Janet: I will too.
Sue: Well you don’t need to, if I do it.
Janet: If we both do it, then they will really think it’s a problem. And they will find her.
Sue: Sure. Sure they will.
Janet: Yeah.
Sue: So you are calling?
Janet: Yeah.
Sue: Let’s call each other when we get off the phone with them.
Janet: Okay.
Sue: Bye. Good luck.
Janet: By-
Sue hangs up. She goes back to reading her magazine. The clock ticks on.
Monday, June 4, 2007
33: Deserted Desserts
Seven PM sharp. The Pluckston’s Living Room. Frederick sits drinking a coke on the couch. He belches. He laughs. Suddenly a shadow passes the window. He stares at it. Then he hides under a blanket. The doorbell. He peeks out from under the blanket as the doorbell rings again. He takes his coke to the door and opens it. Charles Ozgood stands there.
Frederick: Who are you?
Charles: My name is Charles. Who are you?
Frederick: Fred. My name is Fred. What do you want?
Charles: Is your mommy at home?
Frederick: No.
Charles: May I come in?
Frederick: Ummm. I don’t know.
Charles: Well, can I come in or can’t I?
Frederick: I don’t know. Can you?
Charles: Will you allow me to come in?
Frederick: Umm.
Janet and Michael appear on the stoop. They are nicely dressed. Michael’s hair and brow are perspiring and he can’t stop wringing his hands.
Michael: I told you this- oh. Hello.
Janet: Hi, Frederick. Is your mom here?
Frederick: No. She’s not.
Janet: Where is she?
Frederick: I don’t know.
Janet: Is she at work?
Frederick: I don’t know. Call her.
Michael: Do you have her cell phone, Janet? I mean her number?
Charles: Sorry to interrupt. I’m Charles.
Michael: Hi. Nice to meet you. Oh, I’d shake your hand, but I’m sort of sweaty tonight. Sorry.
Charles: (gripping his hand) I don’t mind.
Michael: I’m Michael and this is my fiancée Janet.
Charles: Nice to meet you Janet.
Janet: Michael. This is not how Paula is.
Michael: I know. But maybe it serves her right. She’s always accusing me of standing you up and now here she is standing me and you up. I’m not very happy about this, Janet. Not at all.
Janet: I know. I’m sorry.
Silence.
Frederick: What do you want?
Charles: Oh nothing. I’ll come back later.
Frederick: Okay. My mom will be home later.
Charles: Nice meeting all of you. See you later. (He exits.)
Michael: What did he want?
Frederick: I don’t know.
Janet: You should not be home alone.
Frederick: Oh come on.
Janet: It’s late. Michael, we should stay with him.
Michael: Janet. Come on. This is dumb.
Frederick: Yeah. Dumb.
Janet: Don’t talk like that. It’s late. It’s not even light out. He shouldn’t be home alone. We can at least stay and wait for Paula. . .like she waits for you.
Michael: Oh, but Janet, I don’t want to be as rude as her. I assure you-
It’s a nice neighborhood. The boy will be fine. Just lock your doors, Freddie.
Frederick: Don’t leave. Don’t. Please. My mom said that there are bad men around.
Michael: Awww, Christ. Come on Janet. Let’s take a seat.
Janet: Thank you.
Michael: What are you watching?
Frederick: Bugs Bunny.
Michael: Nice.
Janet: I love Bugs Bunny. I do. I love him.
Frederick: I love him too.
Michael: Good.
Paula’s Voice: Remember what I told you, Michael. Remember.
Michael: Did you hear something?
Janet: Like what?
Frederick: What’s up, doc! That’s it.
Frederick: Who are you?
Charles: My name is Charles. Who are you?
Frederick: Fred. My name is Fred. What do you want?
Charles: Is your mommy at home?
Frederick: No.
Charles: May I come in?
Frederick: Ummm. I don’t know.
Charles: Well, can I come in or can’t I?
Frederick: I don’t know. Can you?
Charles: Will you allow me to come in?
Frederick: Umm.
Janet and Michael appear on the stoop. They are nicely dressed. Michael’s hair and brow are perspiring and he can’t stop wringing his hands.
Michael: I told you this- oh. Hello.
Janet: Hi, Frederick. Is your mom here?
Frederick: No. She’s not.
Janet: Where is she?
Frederick: I don’t know.
Janet: Is she at work?
Frederick: I don’t know. Call her.
Michael: Do you have her cell phone, Janet? I mean her number?
Charles: Sorry to interrupt. I’m Charles.
Michael: Hi. Nice to meet you. Oh, I’d shake your hand, but I’m sort of sweaty tonight. Sorry.
Charles: (gripping his hand) I don’t mind.
Michael: I’m Michael and this is my fiancée Janet.
Charles: Nice to meet you Janet.
Janet: Michael. This is not how Paula is.
Michael: I know. But maybe it serves her right. She’s always accusing me of standing you up and now here she is standing me and you up. I’m not very happy about this, Janet. Not at all.
Janet: I know. I’m sorry.
Silence.
Frederick: What do you want?
Charles: Oh nothing. I’ll come back later.
Frederick: Okay. My mom will be home later.
Charles: Nice meeting all of you. See you later. (He exits.)
Michael: What did he want?
Frederick: I don’t know.
Janet: You should not be home alone.
Frederick: Oh come on.
Janet: It’s late. Michael, we should stay with him.
Michael: Janet. Come on. This is dumb.
Frederick: Yeah. Dumb.
Janet: Don’t talk like that. It’s late. It’s not even light out. He shouldn’t be home alone. We can at least stay and wait for Paula. . .like she waits for you.
Michael: Oh, but Janet, I don’t want to be as rude as her. I assure you-
It’s a nice neighborhood. The boy will be fine. Just lock your doors, Freddie.
Frederick: Don’t leave. Don’t. Please. My mom said that there are bad men around.
Michael: Awww, Christ. Come on Janet. Let’s take a seat.
Janet: Thank you.
Michael: What are you watching?
Frederick: Bugs Bunny.
Michael: Nice.
Janet: I love Bugs Bunny. I do. I love him.
Frederick: I love him too.
Michael: Good.
Paula’s Voice: Remember what I told you, Michael. Remember.
Michael: Did you hear something?
Janet: Like what?
Frederick: What’s up, doc! That’s it.
32: Lunch Time
Roberto’s Uncle. Lunchtime rush. Dora, John’s large daughter, is the hostess. Jessica, Sarah, Tom, and Clark are serving. Paula enters the hustle and bustle. Her purse nearly hangs to the floor as she holds it by the end of the strap. Her eyes are weary and she doesn’t blink.
Dora: Hi Paula.
Paula: (Silence.)
Dora: Paula? How are you doing?
Paula: (Silence)
Dora: Are you meeting some people, Paula?
Paula: (Silence.)
Dora: Hello?
Paula: Oh. I’m sorry. No. No. It’s just me.
Dora: Did you make a reservation today?
Paula: No. I’m just here for some lunch.
Dora: Paula, we’re pretty full today. I don’t know if I have a table for you.
Paula: That’s okay. I’ll sit at the bar.
Dora: Wait just a second. That table is getting up. Hold on.
Paula: Okay. Thanks.
Paula rubs her eyes and fights tears. The restaurant is a living, breathing organism and does not take notice of Paula’s distress. She goes up to the jukebox and stares into the glass. Soon she sees her own reflection.
Paula: (thinking) Who am I going to call? Who could I call? Did they know I was there? Did they know it was me? Oh God. Oh God. How do I stop this? I don’t have any proof. Should I call the police? What would you say, Paula? Oh these two gay men are planning something for my friend with down syndrome. Yes, one of them wants to marry her. But why? Why does he want to marry her? He doesn’t care for her. That much is obvious. Hmmm. What is it? What is missing?
Dora: (through the mixture of voices) Paula. . . .Paula. . .Paula.
Paula: Oh. I’m sorry.
Dora: Oh that’s okay. Your table is ready.
Paula: Thanks.
Dora: Are you sure you are okay?
Paula: I’m fine. I’m just extremely tired.
Dora: Aren’t we all?
Paula: (disinterested) How are you, Dora?
Dora: Oh, you know. Same old. Over-worked and Unde- appreciated.
Paula: I understand.
Dora: Are you sure you are okay?
Paula: I’m fine.
Dora: You don’t look fine.
Paula: I will be. Just bring me some seltzer water. I need to calm my stomach.
Dora: I’ll let your server know.
Paula: So how have you been, Dora?
Dora: I’d fill you in on all the antics of my father’s restaurant, but I gotta get back up front and seat people. Enjoy your lunch.
Paula: Thanks.
Paula sits at a table in the very back. She takes out her journal and tears a page out of it. She tears the pages into smaller squares and on each of them she writes words: (1.) Janet, my best friend. 2. Michael Sandera. 3. Yale 4. Goode 5. Firefighter 6. What does it mean? 7. Marriage? 8. What do you gain? Jessica appears.
Jessica: Hi there. Welcome to Roberto’s Uncle. Can I start you off with some bottled water?
Paula: Oh, yes, I asked Dora for some seltzer water.
Jessica: Would you like to start with a salad?
Paula: Oh no thank you.
Jessica: Are you sure?
Paula: I’m very sure. I’m not very hungry.
Jessica: Uh huh. I’ll be right back with your water.
Paula re-arranges the words on the table. Behind the bar, Clark and Thomas prepare trays of drinks to go out to customers. Jessica comes up front.
Jessica: I’ve got the cheapest lady at table 4.
Clark: Don’t worry about it babe. You’ll just stress yourself out.
Dora: That lady is one of my dad’s good friends. But yeah, she was pretty annoying to seat. What do I have to do? Seat people all day? She just stared at the jukebox, like I have nothing better to do, but wait. Sure. I’ll wait. No problem.
Dora exits the bar area.
Tom: Isn’t that her job?
Clark: Yeah, I’ll never understand her. . .or be able to stand her.
Sarah enters the bar area.
Sarah: Do you have any questions? If you do, you can let me know.
Tom: No. I feel good about it. It’s a lot easier than my last job.
Sarah: What was that?
Tom: A Chinese restaurant. Working there made me realize why world wars are fought.
Sarah: What do you mean?
Tom: The kitchen was Vietnamese. The bus people were from Ecuador. The owners were Chinese. Mexican dishwasher. . .oh and white, European mixture of college servers and nobody ever got along.
Sarah: That’s not a war. . .that’s the restaurant business.
Tom: Maybe. But the bitterness and rage that just grew out of that place was fucking unreal.
Jessica: (bringing forth the water) Here’s your seltzer water, cheapie.
Tom: That’s all she’s getting? Did she see the minimum of 10 dollars for lunch on the bottom of the menu?
Jessica: No, but I’m gonna tell her about it.
Tom: Yeah, I was wondering if I should enforce that or-
Jessica exits the bar area. In the middle of the restaurant, Jessica and Clark stop to talk. Sarah and Tom observe.
Sarah: The minimum that Domino and Sherry put on the bottom of the menu? Nobody really enforces it. Unless you are a bad server, like Jessica.
Tom: Is he the father?
Sarah: No. Big fiasco.
Tom: Wow.
Sarah: Yeah, Clark. . . welcome to fatherhood. Fucking disgusting.
Tom: I couldn’t imagine being a father right now.
Sarah: Let alone with HER as the mother. (They laugh.)
Paula at her table.
Paula: (thinking, rearranging the pieces) How does this fit? What does Michael want. . .hmmmm. Use Logic, Paula. Use logic. Hmmm. Michael is just a plain old boy. He meets Janet. How? How did they meet? I don’t know that. She never said how they met. But they meet and what they start dating? They don’t really have any physical interaction. Plus he finds out that she has a disability. . .but yet he stays. He carries on with her. Why? Why? Yale. Goode. Why is he so protective about that golden chocolate bar? What doesn’t he want me to know about that chocolate bar. . .hmmmm. Yale. He tells everyone that he is going to Yale. But is he? And why is his last name not listed. . .he should be listed. Hmmm. All dead ends. What does Janet have that Michael could want? Nothing. Think deeper, Paula. Think.
Jessica: (approaching) Here’s your water. Were you ready to order?
Paula: I’m afraid I haven’t even looked at the menu.
Jessica: Well just to let you know when you do that there is a ten dollar minimum.
Paula: I have to spend ten dollars?
Jessica: Yes. Company policy. But I’ll give you a few minutes and come back.
Paula: Thank you. (thinking) Just think. Think. Yale. Yale. The letter he received was postmarked yesterday. . .but that was his letter of acceptance. . .but he seemed to know that he was accepted for a long time. Hmmm. All those schools are are politics and old money. Does Michael come from old money? Sandera. . .something seems familiar about the name. Money. That’s the only thing that Janet’s family has that Michael could want. . .but even if he marries her he couldn’t get it. . .not unless. . .
Paula drops her water and the bottle crashes to the ground. The restaurant grows quiet and stares.
Paula: Sorry.
Tom, Clark, and Jessica rush over to clean up the mess. Dora stops over too.
Dora: Been drinking this morning, Paula?
Paula: Oh, no. Just nervous. Sorry about this.
Dora: It’s fine. Jessica can get you another one. Can’t you.
Jessica: Yeah. Oh Clark can you pick that up? I can’t reach.
Paula: Oh you are pregnant?
Jessica: Yeah. Sometime this month, I’m gonna have the baby.
Paula: Are you and the father happy?
Jessica: I’m happy. I’ll be right back with your water. (Jessica exits the area.)
Dora: She’s on the outs with her man, right now. Big drama.
Paula: I see.
Tom: Are you okay?
Paula: I’m fine.
Tom: I just see that the glass is at your feet. You didn’t get cut did you?
Paula: Oh no. I’m fine. I think I’m fine. (She puts her hands on the table. She’s shaking.)
Tom: You’re shaking.
Dora: Are you okay, Paula?
Paula: I’ll be fine.
Dora: Do you want a coffee or anything?
Paula: Since I have to spend ten dollars, why not.
Dora: Oh, we don’t enforce that.
Paula: Your server told me that you did.
Dora: Oh. Well not for you. You’re our friend.
Paula: Thanks.
Dora: Well I’ll let you get back to whatever you’re doing.
Paula: Thank you. I just need to be alone right now.
Dora, Tom, and Clark walk away. Paula goes back to her pieces. Jessica walks back with a water.
Paula: I’d also like a coffee too.
Jessica: Oh really?
Paula: Yes. Is that a problem?
Jessica: No. Not at all.
Paula: Thank you.
Jessica: Are you ready to order or should I come back for that too?
Paula: I’m not ready.
Jessica: Well if I might make a recommendation the Port salad is really good.
Paula: What’s that?
Jessica: That’s what they call the salad with grilled Portobello mushrooms. Tastes like steak.
Paula: Just bring my coffee. For now.
Jessica exits the area.
Paula: (thinking) So they are lovers? God. God. This is too weird. I can’t believe it. Well he wasn’t buying a car that was for sure. They must have been discussing something. I don’t know what to do. Hmmm. I can’t call the police and report a murder. A murder hasn’t happened yet. But will it? Am I over-reacting? What if they knew I was there the whole time? Men don’t kiss like that unless- They meant it. My God. I have to tell somebody. Mr. Camden. I’ll call Camden. I have to tell him. I have to warn somebody.
At the bar. Jessica, Tom, Dora, Sarah, and Clark.
Dora: Okay. From now on. I’m not naming names, but nobody enforce the minimum without management’s approval. Ask me, I’m the manager.
Jessica: So what? I’m just not supposed to make any money?
Dora: Look at how busy we are. You’ll make money.
Jessica: No. No. No when somebody orders salad and seltzer water and coffee. That is not money. . .that’s- that’s cheap. That’s what that is.
Dora: So what? You chose this profession.
Clark: So did you. You better get the door. Some people are waiting to be seated.
Dora: Nobody listens to me around here. (she exits the area)
Clark: I wonder why.
Tom snickers.
Jessica: How am I supposed to survive when people are cheap and order that?
Tom: Maybe they are cheap because they are trying to survive.
Sarah: Yeah. But Tom. . .one rule of thumb is. . .don’t defend the cheap customer. It’ll come back to bite you.
Tom: Oh, I don’t condone cheap customers. I want to make some money too. But I just want to be treated with respect and I hate it when people try to make me order stuff. I guess I just serve with the golden rule.
Sarah: If everybody that worked here followed the golden rule, ha- everybody treats everybody else like shit.
Tom: Shitty.
Clark: Sarah you have food up in the kitchen.
Sarah: Thanks. (She exits.)
Tom: Are you-
Clark: Am I what?
Tom: Are you and Jessica-
Clark: What do you think?
Tom: I don’t know.
Clark: Is it obvious?
At Paula’s table. She puts her cell phone away.
Paula: (thinking) No answer. It’s always messages with that man. AND he never calls me back. He doesn’t care. Nobody does. If I don’t do something. Something will happen. Well of course something will happen. Something is always happening. . .oh damn.
Jessica: Are you ready yet? Here’s your coffee.
Paula: Thanks.
Jessica: Well?
Paula: I am afraid I haven’t even looked at the menu, but I’ll have that Port Salad that you were talking about.
Jessica: The port?
Paula: Yes. Yes. That. That one, right there.
Jessica: Okay, I’ll put that in for you.
Paula: Do I get some bread? Could I have some bread? Wait. No. No bread. I don’t need it.
Jessica: Okay. No bread. No problem. (Jessica walks away.)
Paula: (thinking) There must be something I’m missing. Something. Think Paula. Think.
At the Bar. Jessica. Dora. Tom. Clark.
Jessica: Should I ask him?
Clark: Ask him if you want.
Jessica: Tom?
Tom: Yeah?
Dora: (screaming) Who didn’t refill the carafe of ice tea? Damn it all to hell. I’m not talking for my health you know. How come this didn’t get done?
Silence. The bar stops talking, including customers, and everyone stares at Dora.
Dora: Awww. Fuck. (Dora exits through a backdoor behind the bar.)
Clark: (to Tom) Don’t worry about that. She’s a little crazy. I just ignore it.
Tom: I see.
Jessica: Yeah weekly occurrence.
Clark: Weekly? Everyday she’s bitching. That’s why I can’t work here everyday. Get burned out, man. I’m telling you.
Tom: What were you going to ask me?
Jessica: Could you possibly help me move to my new place this weekend?
Tom: Ummm.
Jessica: Clark’s gonna come and we are gonna get some pizza and I’ll ummm pay you.
Tom: I have to check my schedule.
Jessica: Well let me know. It’s not that much stuff. And it’s not that far. A couple of hours at the most.
Tom: I’ll get back to you.
Jessica: Can you call me tonight? As soon as you are off your shift?
Clark: We really do need somebody to help us.
Jessica: And like I said. I’d pay.
Tom: Well that is an incentive and I do need money.
Jessica: Let me know.
Tom: Okay. I will. Thanks for the offer.
Sarah: You have a Port Salad up in the back, Jessica.
Jessica: Oh cheap lady’s food is up. Be right back.
Clara and Judy enter.
Dora: Do you have a reservation?
Judy: No, we don’t I’m afraid.
Dora: Well we are all full.
Judy: What about that table over there?
Dora: What about it?
Judy: Those people are getting up, aren’t they?
Dora: Yeah, looks like it.
Judy: (looks to Clara) May we sit there?
Dora: You’ll have to wait. (Dora stalks off.)
Judy: Not very nice here are they.
Clara: No, ma’m.
Judy: She said we’ll have to wait, but she didn’t say how long.
Clara: I think they are clearing the table now. Do you think that we should call a doctor for Mr. Alfred?
Judy: No. He’ll be fine.
Clara: He didn’t look fine.
Judy: He’s fine.
Clara: He’s your husband. Shouldn’t you be worried?
Judy: I was. But I’m not now.
Clara: Why? He can barely get out of bed.
Judy: Alfred has been very mad at my spending money lately and taking him to the hospital would be expensive.
Clara: He looks deathly ill, Ms. Judy.
Judy: Oh, no he doesn’t. Now we are gonna have a nice lunch and we’ll go visit him. Okay? The only reason we are here is the fact that Alfie is home. If we weren’t, one of us would have to be watching, Kitty.
Clara: Si, one of us.
Dora: Table’s ready. Follow me.
Dora throws the menus down at the table next to Paula. Clara and Judy are seated. Jessica comes with the salad.
Jessica: Here’s your Port Salad.
Paula: Wait. What is this?
Jessica: The salad that you ordered.
Paula: I said Pork. I pointed to the pork tenderloin salad.
Jessica: No, you said Port and I repeated it back to you.
Paula: Well I want the Pork one. I’m sorry. I meant the pork one. I’m sure I said Pork.
Jessica: Yeah.
Dora: What’s the problem?
Jessica: I just had a hearing problem again. I got the letters mixed up and accidentally brought her the wrong salad. I must have heard wrong. They sound so similar.
Paula: Don’t worry I’m not mad.
Jessica: Good. That makes one of us-
Dora: Sorry, Paula.
Jessica: For a pork salad.
Judy: Mr. Andreas just seems to have the flu today. Don’t worry about him.
Clara: But I do.
Paula: (thinking) That must be some relation to Alfred Andreas. The owner of Goode candy company. Andreas. ANDREAS! (shouting) Oh thank you, port salad! Thank you!
Paula gets up and runs into the bathroom.
Clara: Maybe he got food poisoning . . .like we did?
Judy: Maybe. But you have been cooking the meals, so it would have been your fault. But let’s not argue about this. Let’s talk about us.
Clara: I’m not sure why you asked me out to lunch.
Judy: Because I think of you as a friend and I thought it’d be a nice thing to do.
Clara: I think you need more to do.
Jessica: (coming over with the right salad) Don’t tell me she walked out on her food.
Judy: I think that lady went to the bathroom.
Jessica: Oh. She better have. (She puts the salad down.)
Carol and Beau enter the restaurant. Beau has his arm through Carol’s.
Carol: I don’t know why you are asking about her. I really don’t. I told you she didn’t want to come today. She had plans about dessert or something.
Beau: Oh.
Carol: Besides. . .what about me?
Beau: What about you?
Carol: Can’t we just enjoy a nice lunch without having to worry about anything?
Beau: I guess.
Carol: Thanks for taking me out to lunch, Beau.
Beau: But I thought you were paying.
Carol: I am. Oh you’ve gone and ruined my fantasy.
Beau: Sorry.
Dora: (approaches) How many?
Carol: Two.
Dora: Do you have a reservation? We’re rather full.
Carol: No. No we don’t.
Dora: Does anybody make reservations anymore? Do you want to sit at the bar?
Beau: Sure.
Carol: The bar? That’s not romantic.
Beau: It’s lunch, Carol. Not a candlelight dinner.
Carol: The bar is fine. I have to go to the restroom. I’ll be right back, sweetie.
Carol enters the restroom and inside one of the stalls, Paula is on the phone. Carol stops and listens.
Paula: Hi, Mr. Andreas. This is Paula Pluckston. You don’t know me. I’m a case worker at the Beverly Judith Berry House. I have something very important to talk to you about. It could be a matter of life and death. Please call me back at your earliest convenience. I’m sorry that I called your office, but I couldn’t get your home number. It’s unlisted. Thanks. Bye.
Paula exits the stall and sees Carol looking in the mirror.
Carol: Oh, hello Ms. Pluckston.
Paula: Hello, Carol. I have something that I have been meaning to speak to you about.
Carol: Oh dearie, what could that be.
Paula: Listen. No more labor from Janet. At all. Unless it’s at the fruit stand AND she gets paid.
Carol: She’s a grown woman and she can do what she wants Ms. Pluckston. If I invite her over to-
Paula: It won’t be to sip lemonade on your porch. It’ll be to use and abuse her. I heard about this this morning. It’s going to end. Now.
Carol: Good day to you, miss.
Paula: I’m serious, Carol. I mean it.
Clara enters the bathroom.
Carol: Over my dead body.
Paula: Don’t make promises like that Carol, they may come to bite you in the ass.
Carol: (to Clara) What a bitch.
Paula exits the bathroom triumphantly and goes back to her table. Jessica appears immediately.
Jessica: How is everything tasting here?
Paula: Great! Just Great!
Paula’s phone starts ringing.
Paula: Oh, excuse me, please.
Judy observes.
Paula: Hello? Sue? Oh. Oh I almost forgot about the appointment. (to Jessica) Could I get the check please?
Jessica: Do you want a box?
Paula: I’m so sorry, Sue. I’ll be right in. I forgot you asked if you could leave early. I’m sorry. I can’t wait for the check. Here. Here. (She scrounges for money in her wallet, jams it into Jessica’s hands.)
Jessica: (getting handed a wad) Thanks. Have a good day.
Paula exits the restaurant making a scene.
Judy: That lady was in a hurry.
Clara appears.
Clara: And she loca too.
At the Bar.
Jessica: She left me a ten cent tip! Geez.
Carol: She’s kind of a cheap lady. Big about money, sweetie. Don’t let it worry you.
Dora: (screaming) How many times Jessica! Don’t talk about the customers behind the bar!
Everyone becomes silent and pauses.
Carol: Oh dear.
Dora: Hi Paula.
Paula: (Silence.)
Dora: Paula? How are you doing?
Paula: (Silence)
Dora: Are you meeting some people, Paula?
Paula: (Silence.)
Dora: Hello?
Paula: Oh. I’m sorry. No. No. It’s just me.
Dora: Did you make a reservation today?
Paula: No. I’m just here for some lunch.
Dora: Paula, we’re pretty full today. I don’t know if I have a table for you.
Paula: That’s okay. I’ll sit at the bar.
Dora: Wait just a second. That table is getting up. Hold on.
Paula: Okay. Thanks.
Paula rubs her eyes and fights tears. The restaurant is a living, breathing organism and does not take notice of Paula’s distress. She goes up to the jukebox and stares into the glass. Soon she sees her own reflection.
Paula: (thinking) Who am I going to call? Who could I call? Did they know I was there? Did they know it was me? Oh God. Oh God. How do I stop this? I don’t have any proof. Should I call the police? What would you say, Paula? Oh these two gay men are planning something for my friend with down syndrome. Yes, one of them wants to marry her. But why? Why does he want to marry her? He doesn’t care for her. That much is obvious. Hmmm. What is it? What is missing?
Dora: (through the mixture of voices) Paula. . . .Paula. . .Paula.
Paula: Oh. I’m sorry.
Dora: Oh that’s okay. Your table is ready.
Paula: Thanks.
Dora: Are you sure you are okay?
Paula: I’m fine. I’m just extremely tired.
Dora: Aren’t we all?
Paula: (disinterested) How are you, Dora?
Dora: Oh, you know. Same old. Over-worked and Unde- appreciated.
Paula: I understand.
Dora: Are you sure you are okay?
Paula: I’m fine.
Dora: You don’t look fine.
Paula: I will be. Just bring me some seltzer water. I need to calm my stomach.
Dora: I’ll let your server know.
Paula: So how have you been, Dora?
Dora: I’d fill you in on all the antics of my father’s restaurant, but I gotta get back up front and seat people. Enjoy your lunch.
Paula: Thanks.
Paula sits at a table in the very back. She takes out her journal and tears a page out of it. She tears the pages into smaller squares and on each of them she writes words: (1.) Janet, my best friend. 2. Michael Sandera. 3. Yale 4. Goode 5. Firefighter 6. What does it mean? 7. Marriage? 8. What do you gain? Jessica appears.
Jessica: Hi there. Welcome to Roberto’s Uncle. Can I start you off with some bottled water?
Paula: Oh, yes, I asked Dora for some seltzer water.
Jessica: Would you like to start with a salad?
Paula: Oh no thank you.
Jessica: Are you sure?
Paula: I’m very sure. I’m not very hungry.
Jessica: Uh huh. I’ll be right back with your water.
Paula re-arranges the words on the table. Behind the bar, Clark and Thomas prepare trays of drinks to go out to customers. Jessica comes up front.
Jessica: I’ve got the cheapest lady at table 4.
Clark: Don’t worry about it babe. You’ll just stress yourself out.
Dora: That lady is one of my dad’s good friends. But yeah, she was pretty annoying to seat. What do I have to do? Seat people all day? She just stared at the jukebox, like I have nothing better to do, but wait. Sure. I’ll wait. No problem.
Dora exits the bar area.
Tom: Isn’t that her job?
Clark: Yeah, I’ll never understand her. . .or be able to stand her.
Sarah enters the bar area.
Sarah: Do you have any questions? If you do, you can let me know.
Tom: No. I feel good about it. It’s a lot easier than my last job.
Sarah: What was that?
Tom: A Chinese restaurant. Working there made me realize why world wars are fought.
Sarah: What do you mean?
Tom: The kitchen was Vietnamese. The bus people were from Ecuador. The owners were Chinese. Mexican dishwasher. . .oh and white, European mixture of college servers and nobody ever got along.
Sarah: That’s not a war. . .that’s the restaurant business.
Tom: Maybe. But the bitterness and rage that just grew out of that place was fucking unreal.
Jessica: (bringing forth the water) Here’s your seltzer water, cheapie.
Tom: That’s all she’s getting? Did she see the minimum of 10 dollars for lunch on the bottom of the menu?
Jessica: No, but I’m gonna tell her about it.
Tom: Yeah, I was wondering if I should enforce that or-
Jessica exits the bar area. In the middle of the restaurant, Jessica and Clark stop to talk. Sarah and Tom observe.
Sarah: The minimum that Domino and Sherry put on the bottom of the menu? Nobody really enforces it. Unless you are a bad server, like Jessica.
Tom: Is he the father?
Sarah: No. Big fiasco.
Tom: Wow.
Sarah: Yeah, Clark. . . welcome to fatherhood. Fucking disgusting.
Tom: I couldn’t imagine being a father right now.
Sarah: Let alone with HER as the mother. (They laugh.)
Paula at her table.
Paula: (thinking, rearranging the pieces) How does this fit? What does Michael want. . .hmmmm. Use Logic, Paula. Use logic. Hmmm. Michael is just a plain old boy. He meets Janet. How? How did they meet? I don’t know that. She never said how they met. But they meet and what they start dating? They don’t really have any physical interaction. Plus he finds out that she has a disability. . .but yet he stays. He carries on with her. Why? Why? Yale. Goode. Why is he so protective about that golden chocolate bar? What doesn’t he want me to know about that chocolate bar. . .hmmmm. Yale. He tells everyone that he is going to Yale. But is he? And why is his last name not listed. . .he should be listed. Hmmm. All dead ends. What does Janet have that Michael could want? Nothing. Think deeper, Paula. Think.
Jessica: (approaching) Here’s your water. Were you ready to order?
Paula: I’m afraid I haven’t even looked at the menu.
Jessica: Well just to let you know when you do that there is a ten dollar minimum.
Paula: I have to spend ten dollars?
Jessica: Yes. Company policy. But I’ll give you a few minutes and come back.
Paula: Thank you. (thinking) Just think. Think. Yale. Yale. The letter he received was postmarked yesterday. . .but that was his letter of acceptance. . .but he seemed to know that he was accepted for a long time. Hmmm. All those schools are are politics and old money. Does Michael come from old money? Sandera. . .something seems familiar about the name. Money. That’s the only thing that Janet’s family has that Michael could want. . .but even if he marries her he couldn’t get it. . .not unless. . .
Paula drops her water and the bottle crashes to the ground. The restaurant grows quiet and stares.
Paula: Sorry.
Tom, Clark, and Jessica rush over to clean up the mess. Dora stops over too.
Dora: Been drinking this morning, Paula?
Paula: Oh, no. Just nervous. Sorry about this.
Dora: It’s fine. Jessica can get you another one. Can’t you.
Jessica: Yeah. Oh Clark can you pick that up? I can’t reach.
Paula: Oh you are pregnant?
Jessica: Yeah. Sometime this month, I’m gonna have the baby.
Paula: Are you and the father happy?
Jessica: I’m happy. I’ll be right back with your water. (Jessica exits the area.)
Dora: She’s on the outs with her man, right now. Big drama.
Paula: I see.
Tom: Are you okay?
Paula: I’m fine.
Tom: I just see that the glass is at your feet. You didn’t get cut did you?
Paula: Oh no. I’m fine. I think I’m fine. (She puts her hands on the table. She’s shaking.)
Tom: You’re shaking.
Dora: Are you okay, Paula?
Paula: I’ll be fine.
Dora: Do you want a coffee or anything?
Paula: Since I have to spend ten dollars, why not.
Dora: Oh, we don’t enforce that.
Paula: Your server told me that you did.
Dora: Oh. Well not for you. You’re our friend.
Paula: Thanks.
Dora: Well I’ll let you get back to whatever you’re doing.
Paula: Thank you. I just need to be alone right now.
Dora, Tom, and Clark walk away. Paula goes back to her pieces. Jessica walks back with a water.
Paula: I’d also like a coffee too.
Jessica: Oh really?
Paula: Yes. Is that a problem?
Jessica: No. Not at all.
Paula: Thank you.
Jessica: Are you ready to order or should I come back for that too?
Paula: I’m not ready.
Jessica: Well if I might make a recommendation the Port salad is really good.
Paula: What’s that?
Jessica: That’s what they call the salad with grilled Portobello mushrooms. Tastes like steak.
Paula: Just bring my coffee. For now.
Jessica exits the area.
Paula: (thinking) So they are lovers? God. God. This is too weird. I can’t believe it. Well he wasn’t buying a car that was for sure. They must have been discussing something. I don’t know what to do. Hmmm. I can’t call the police and report a murder. A murder hasn’t happened yet. But will it? Am I over-reacting? What if they knew I was there the whole time? Men don’t kiss like that unless- They meant it. My God. I have to tell somebody. Mr. Camden. I’ll call Camden. I have to tell him. I have to warn somebody.
At the bar. Jessica, Tom, Dora, Sarah, and Clark.
Dora: Okay. From now on. I’m not naming names, but nobody enforce the minimum without management’s approval. Ask me, I’m the manager.
Jessica: So what? I’m just not supposed to make any money?
Dora: Look at how busy we are. You’ll make money.
Jessica: No. No. No when somebody orders salad and seltzer water and coffee. That is not money. . .that’s- that’s cheap. That’s what that is.
Dora: So what? You chose this profession.
Clark: So did you. You better get the door. Some people are waiting to be seated.
Dora: Nobody listens to me around here. (she exits the area)
Clark: I wonder why.
Tom snickers.
Jessica: How am I supposed to survive when people are cheap and order that?
Tom: Maybe they are cheap because they are trying to survive.
Sarah: Yeah. But Tom. . .one rule of thumb is. . .don’t defend the cheap customer. It’ll come back to bite you.
Tom: Oh, I don’t condone cheap customers. I want to make some money too. But I just want to be treated with respect and I hate it when people try to make me order stuff. I guess I just serve with the golden rule.
Sarah: If everybody that worked here followed the golden rule, ha- everybody treats everybody else like shit.
Tom: Shitty.
Clark: Sarah you have food up in the kitchen.
Sarah: Thanks. (She exits.)
Tom: Are you-
Clark: Am I what?
Tom: Are you and Jessica-
Clark: What do you think?
Tom: I don’t know.
Clark: Is it obvious?
At Paula’s table. She puts her cell phone away.
Paula: (thinking) No answer. It’s always messages with that man. AND he never calls me back. He doesn’t care. Nobody does. If I don’t do something. Something will happen. Well of course something will happen. Something is always happening. . .oh damn.
Jessica: Are you ready yet? Here’s your coffee.
Paula: Thanks.
Jessica: Well?
Paula: I am afraid I haven’t even looked at the menu, but I’ll have that Port Salad that you were talking about.
Jessica: The port?
Paula: Yes. Yes. That. That one, right there.
Jessica: Okay, I’ll put that in for you.
Paula: Do I get some bread? Could I have some bread? Wait. No. No bread. I don’t need it.
Jessica: Okay. No bread. No problem. (Jessica walks away.)
Paula: (thinking) There must be something I’m missing. Something. Think Paula. Think.
At the Bar. Jessica. Dora. Tom. Clark.
Jessica: Should I ask him?
Clark: Ask him if you want.
Jessica: Tom?
Tom: Yeah?
Dora: (screaming) Who didn’t refill the carafe of ice tea? Damn it all to hell. I’m not talking for my health you know. How come this didn’t get done?
Silence. The bar stops talking, including customers, and everyone stares at Dora.
Dora: Awww. Fuck. (Dora exits through a backdoor behind the bar.)
Clark: (to Tom) Don’t worry about that. She’s a little crazy. I just ignore it.
Tom: I see.
Jessica: Yeah weekly occurrence.
Clark: Weekly? Everyday she’s bitching. That’s why I can’t work here everyday. Get burned out, man. I’m telling you.
Tom: What were you going to ask me?
Jessica: Could you possibly help me move to my new place this weekend?
Tom: Ummm.
Jessica: Clark’s gonna come and we are gonna get some pizza and I’ll ummm pay you.
Tom: I have to check my schedule.
Jessica: Well let me know. It’s not that much stuff. And it’s not that far. A couple of hours at the most.
Tom: I’ll get back to you.
Jessica: Can you call me tonight? As soon as you are off your shift?
Clark: We really do need somebody to help us.
Jessica: And like I said. I’d pay.
Tom: Well that is an incentive and I do need money.
Jessica: Let me know.
Tom: Okay. I will. Thanks for the offer.
Sarah: You have a Port Salad up in the back, Jessica.
Jessica: Oh cheap lady’s food is up. Be right back.
Clara and Judy enter.
Dora: Do you have a reservation?
Judy: No, we don’t I’m afraid.
Dora: Well we are all full.
Judy: What about that table over there?
Dora: What about it?
Judy: Those people are getting up, aren’t they?
Dora: Yeah, looks like it.
Judy: (looks to Clara) May we sit there?
Dora: You’ll have to wait. (Dora stalks off.)
Judy: Not very nice here are they.
Clara: No, ma’m.
Judy: She said we’ll have to wait, but she didn’t say how long.
Clara: I think they are clearing the table now. Do you think that we should call a doctor for Mr. Alfred?
Judy: No. He’ll be fine.
Clara: He didn’t look fine.
Judy: He’s fine.
Clara: He’s your husband. Shouldn’t you be worried?
Judy: I was. But I’m not now.
Clara: Why? He can barely get out of bed.
Judy: Alfred has been very mad at my spending money lately and taking him to the hospital would be expensive.
Clara: He looks deathly ill, Ms. Judy.
Judy: Oh, no he doesn’t. Now we are gonna have a nice lunch and we’ll go visit him. Okay? The only reason we are here is the fact that Alfie is home. If we weren’t, one of us would have to be watching, Kitty.
Clara: Si, one of us.
Dora: Table’s ready. Follow me.
Dora throws the menus down at the table next to Paula. Clara and Judy are seated. Jessica comes with the salad.
Jessica: Here’s your Port Salad.
Paula: Wait. What is this?
Jessica: The salad that you ordered.
Paula: I said Pork. I pointed to the pork tenderloin salad.
Jessica: No, you said Port and I repeated it back to you.
Paula: Well I want the Pork one. I’m sorry. I meant the pork one. I’m sure I said Pork.
Jessica: Yeah.
Dora: What’s the problem?
Jessica: I just had a hearing problem again. I got the letters mixed up and accidentally brought her the wrong salad. I must have heard wrong. They sound so similar.
Paula: Don’t worry I’m not mad.
Jessica: Good. That makes one of us-
Dora: Sorry, Paula.
Jessica: For a pork salad.
Judy: Mr. Andreas just seems to have the flu today. Don’t worry about him.
Clara: But I do.
Paula: (thinking) That must be some relation to Alfred Andreas. The owner of Goode candy company. Andreas. ANDREAS! (shouting) Oh thank you, port salad! Thank you!
Paula gets up and runs into the bathroom.
Clara: Maybe he got food poisoning . . .like we did?
Judy: Maybe. But you have been cooking the meals, so it would have been your fault. But let’s not argue about this. Let’s talk about us.
Clara: I’m not sure why you asked me out to lunch.
Judy: Because I think of you as a friend and I thought it’d be a nice thing to do.
Clara: I think you need more to do.
Jessica: (coming over with the right salad) Don’t tell me she walked out on her food.
Judy: I think that lady went to the bathroom.
Jessica: Oh. She better have. (She puts the salad down.)
Carol and Beau enter the restaurant. Beau has his arm through Carol’s.
Carol: I don’t know why you are asking about her. I really don’t. I told you she didn’t want to come today. She had plans about dessert or something.
Beau: Oh.
Carol: Besides. . .what about me?
Beau: What about you?
Carol: Can’t we just enjoy a nice lunch without having to worry about anything?
Beau: I guess.
Carol: Thanks for taking me out to lunch, Beau.
Beau: But I thought you were paying.
Carol: I am. Oh you’ve gone and ruined my fantasy.
Beau: Sorry.
Dora: (approaches) How many?
Carol: Two.
Dora: Do you have a reservation? We’re rather full.
Carol: No. No we don’t.
Dora: Does anybody make reservations anymore? Do you want to sit at the bar?
Beau: Sure.
Carol: The bar? That’s not romantic.
Beau: It’s lunch, Carol. Not a candlelight dinner.
Carol: The bar is fine. I have to go to the restroom. I’ll be right back, sweetie.
Carol enters the restroom and inside one of the stalls, Paula is on the phone. Carol stops and listens.
Paula: Hi, Mr. Andreas. This is Paula Pluckston. You don’t know me. I’m a case worker at the Beverly Judith Berry House. I have something very important to talk to you about. It could be a matter of life and death. Please call me back at your earliest convenience. I’m sorry that I called your office, but I couldn’t get your home number. It’s unlisted. Thanks. Bye.
Paula exits the stall and sees Carol looking in the mirror.
Carol: Oh, hello Ms. Pluckston.
Paula: Hello, Carol. I have something that I have been meaning to speak to you about.
Carol: Oh dearie, what could that be.
Paula: Listen. No more labor from Janet. At all. Unless it’s at the fruit stand AND she gets paid.
Carol: She’s a grown woman and she can do what she wants Ms. Pluckston. If I invite her over to-
Paula: It won’t be to sip lemonade on your porch. It’ll be to use and abuse her. I heard about this this morning. It’s going to end. Now.
Carol: Good day to you, miss.
Paula: I’m serious, Carol. I mean it.
Clara enters the bathroom.
Carol: Over my dead body.
Paula: Don’t make promises like that Carol, they may come to bite you in the ass.
Carol: (to Clara) What a bitch.
Paula exits the bathroom triumphantly and goes back to her table. Jessica appears immediately.
Jessica: How is everything tasting here?
Paula: Great! Just Great!
Paula’s phone starts ringing.
Paula: Oh, excuse me, please.
Judy observes.
Paula: Hello? Sue? Oh. Oh I almost forgot about the appointment. (to Jessica) Could I get the check please?
Jessica: Do you want a box?
Paula: I’m so sorry, Sue. I’ll be right in. I forgot you asked if you could leave early. I’m sorry. I can’t wait for the check. Here. Here. (She scrounges for money in her wallet, jams it into Jessica’s hands.)
Jessica: (getting handed a wad) Thanks. Have a good day.
Paula exits the restaurant making a scene.
Judy: That lady was in a hurry.
Clara appears.
Clara: And she loca too.
At the Bar.
Jessica: She left me a ten cent tip! Geez.
Carol: She’s kind of a cheap lady. Big about money, sweetie. Don’t let it worry you.
Dora: (screaming) How many times Jessica! Don’t talk about the customers behind the bar!
Everyone becomes silent and pauses.
Carol: Oh dear.
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