The Living Room of the Andreas Household. Judy Andreas, in a velvety, red tracksuit, works out to a trendy aerobics video or a facsimile of the latest exercise fad. The room is completely decorated in pure white and crystal ornaments and statues. The doorbell rings. She ignores it. It rings again. She ignores it. It rings a third time. She ignores it and the door bursts open. The entryway is below a long staircase so she cannot see who has entered.
Judy: Who is it? Who’s there!?
Michael:(climbing the stairs) Me. (He has a long wrapped rectangle package.)
Judy: What do you want?
Michael: Can’t I come to my own home?
Judy: You know how long it has been since you have been here.
Michael: So what?
Judy: I just thought we’d seen the last of you.
Michael: I thought’d seen the last of you. But I guess I was wrong.
Judy: Michael, I know you’ve never liked me. I know you-
Michael: Cut the crap. I hate you, but I brought a gift-
Judy: Don’t speak to me that way. You have no right. Now please leave. Before-
Michael: Before what? (He gets in her face. She steps backwards frightened.)
Judy: Your father knows what you’ve been into. I could call the police right now.
Michael: Does he? Well, that’s just fine. I guess if he wouldn’t have married a woman that could be his daughter, I wouldn’t be so emotionally unavailable.
Judy: I love your father. Stop this.
Michael: You love money.
Judy: Your father and I have discussed getting a restraining order on you. Don’t make us go through with it.
Michael: Oh fuck you.
Judy: Don’t say fuck to me. Kitty is in the house.
Michael: She is?
Judy: Please don’t sit down.
Michael: I’m going to. (He sits.)
Judy: Michael, I just had this room cleaned. Your jacket looks. . .dirty.
Michael: Shut the hell up. Why isn’t Kitty with her nurse?
Judy: Michael, I went to school for this sort of thing. I know how to handle a child-
Michael: I don’t care what you went to school for. I don’t want you taking care of my sister. She is a person you know. Not some key to the fortune. She has- she’s very impressionable- and you will only teach –well how do I say this right- you will only teach her bad things. Besides my father doesn’t like her that much anyway.
Judy: Don’t say things like that. Please. I love Kitty. I do. So does your father-
Michael: Not much conviction in that. I see you’re getting fit, fit to inherit the whole kingdom?
Judy: I’m exercising, yes. (She shuts the TV off.) Now let’s get down to business. What? What do you want? I need you out of here for my own piece of mind.
Michael: You haven’t even tried to know me.
Judy: You’ve been impossible from the start, besides burning down that shed when I first arrived wasn’t any sort of welcome wagon.
Michael: I thought you were inside it.
Judy: Please go. Or I’m going to call the police.
Kitty: (off) Mommy?!
Michael: Is that Kitty?
Judy: Mommy’ll be in in a second.
Michael: My sister can’t come in the fucking living room? (He stands, and violently backs Judy into a corner.)
Judy: Michael-
Michael: This is my family. I will not wage war with you, but if you push me to that I will. So help me God I’ll make your life a living hell. I want to see her. I do.
The telephone rings. Judy looks to it.
Michael: Don’t answer that.
Judy: But-
The telephone rings a few more times throughout.
Michael: I said don’t. You are going to get Kitty in here now. I have something to tell her. (pause) I said do it. Now.
Judy: Michael, please let me go.
Michael: Do what I say and nobody gets hurt.
Judy: Your father is going to hear about this.
Michael slaps her. She holds her cheek. Then Kitty appears and stands in the doorway, with orange juice. She’s 10.
Judy: (covering) Honey, what do you want?
Kitty: Can I come in?
Judy: Yes. Yes, you can.
Kitty: Oh yay!
Judy: Be careful. Please. The crystals-
Kitty: Michael!
Michael: Kitty!
They hug.
Judy: (to Michael) Hurry it up. Please. . .
Michael: Yeah. Yeah. How’s my favorite sister today?
Kitty: I’m your only sister.
Michael: I know that silly. What happened to your nurse?
Kitty: She got fired. Mommy, said we’re paying her too much.
Michael: She’s not your mommy, Kitty. She’s not.
Judy: I am too.
Kitty: She’s not?
Michael: No. She’s somebody Daddy married to get something out of.
Judy: Michael, I swear-
Michael: Quiet, you.
Kitty: I’m scared.
Michael: No reason to be scared. I came here to tell you something and to bring you a present.
Kitty: A present? Really?
Michael: (brings the package before her) Go ahead. Open it.
Judy: This better be appropriate for a young child.
Michael: I don’t want to hear another word out of you as long as I’m here. Why don’t you sit on your fancy couch. Hey Kitty, want to give Judy your juice, so you can open your gift? Maybe if she drinks some of it, she’ll be quiet.
Judy: I don’t want-
Michael: Uh uh uh. I said quiet. Don’t make the volunteer fire department come here, Judy.
Judy gives a look of extreme fear.
Kitty: I don’t like this juice anyway. It’s orange, but not orange fruit. Drink it, you gave it to me.
Judy: Your doctor wants you to, he says your lacking-
Michael: What are you giving her?
Judy: Carrot juice. Her doctor says-
Michael: (mocking) Her doctor says. Her doctor says. (to Judy) You drink it. All of it. Now. (to Kitty) Go ahead, open it.
Judy begins to drink the juice as Kitty tears open the package. It’s a blank canvas.
Kitty: Oh wow Michael. What is it?
Michael: This is what artists paint on. You should ask Daddy to get you some paints and then you can make a picture on this. You will be a great artist like Van Gogh or Renoir.
Kitty: Really? Oh I want to paint. I want to paint.
Michael: Hear that? She wants to paint. Better go buy her some paints with Daddy’s money. I mean it.
Kitty: Yeah, buy me some paints. Yeah. Thank you, Michael.
Michael: You’re welcome.
Kitty: I love you. (She gives him a big hug.)
Michael: I have to go now. I do. But I want you to know that I love you very much. And guess what? You know how you aren’t allowed into this room? Well, that rule has changed. Now you are. You can come in here whenever you want. Whenever you want. (He gives Judy eyes.) Because a living room is meant to be lived in.
Kitty: Really, mommy? Really.
Judy: (hard to speak) Yes.
Kitty: Oh boy! (to Michael) Can I go play with my toys now?
Michael: Of course. Of course. I love you and I’ll see you soon.
Kitty exits.
Michael: I’m going to go now. Tell my father I’m getting married. I doubt he’ll care. . .
Judy: Michael, if you know what’s good for you, don’t ever come back to this house.
Michael: If you know what’s good for you, you will take the best care of my sister that you can. She’s special. And I will be back to visit her often. Don’t leave her alone like that watching your stupid hip hop aerobics or whatever. . . And if you tell my father about this, don’t expect this house to be standing afterwards.
Judy: What are you going to do?
Michael: You’ll see. I wouldn’t work out too much more, you are already too thin.
Judy: Please go.
Michael: Good-bye. (He exits.)
She runs up to the door and locks it. She starts crying profusely and uncontrollably. Kitty reappears in the living room.
Judy: (screaming) Get out. Get out of here now!
Kitty: But-
Judy: I don’t care what Michael says. He’s not a nice person.
Kitty: I just want my painting paper.
Judy: You can’t have it. You can’t. It’s mine. I’m going to hang it right here.
Kitty doesn’t move as Judy hangs the blank white canvas on the white wall.
Kitty: Why?
Judy: You don’t deserve it. Now go play with your toys. I have to call your father.
Kitty: Can I get my juice glass?
Judy: Yes, and don’t come back in my sight until it’s gone. (She exits.)
Kitty: I’m gonna paint, mommy. I’m gonna paint. (She throws the juice at the canvas and it splashes color on it. Then she exits.)
Friday, May 4, 2007
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