Entombed in his closet at Janet’s, Michael sleeps. Smoke pours in and he wakes up and starts to choke. He gasps. He jumps out of bed in his underwear and throws the door open. When he does, the room melts away and he is in a hazy, vacuous space. He walks unable to find his way, he stumbles, and goes flat on his face. A shoe appears on his back. His father, Alfred, is there.
Alfred: Don’t you ever, ever disrespect her again. She’s going to be my wife.
Michael: She doesn’t even like me.
Alfred: Not when you treat her the way you do.
Michael: I just treat her, the way you treated mom.
Alfred: I could crush your skull boy. I could.
Judy appears.
Judy: Do it, Alfie. Do it. Crush him. Kill him. Please. Please. I can’t live with him in this household.
Alfred: Do you hear her cries? She can’t live with you in this household. I want you to pack up your things and get out of here.
Judy: Yes, get out of here.
Michael: You don’t need to tell me to go. I’ve already gone.
A curtain falls separating Michael from Judy and Alfred. He gets up. The rain pours. Thunder and Lightning. Michael is soaked to the bone. He shivers. He finds solace in an alley way under a box. Tobias lays unconscious a few feet away from him.
Michael: It was cold remember? It was so cold. . . we were both soaked. I’m there, Toby, I’m there again.
Toby: I’ve been in secret societies. I’ve killed men. I know how to fuck people up, buddy. Trust me. Stick with me and you’re stuck for life. Can you do it?
Michael: I’ll do anything. You care.
Toby: Yeah, I care.
Toby’s face transforms into a snakehead.
Toby: I’m going to go out. I’m going to do what I want. We are going to make it for ourselves.
Michael: Where are you going?
Toby: You don’t get to know everything, buddy.
Michael: But I love you.
Toby: No, you don’t.
Michael: You took care of me. You fed me. You clothed me.
Toby: No, I didn’t. Drugs did that. Drugs do everything. Drugs fill up your cups with joy, dude. Do you know how old I am?
Michael: My age?
Toby: I’ve been through what some eighty year old men will never see in a lifetime.
Michael: Sounds sexy.
Toby: Don’t say sexy to me, cunt. We make a pact. We make it now. Brothers forever. Have a bite of my carrot.
Michael: Brothers forever.
Toby: Give me your blood.
Michael: I don’t know if I can.
Toby: Do it.
Michael: Okay.
Michael cuts himself on the arm and offers it to Toby.
Toby: More. I want more.
Michael: I don’t know if I can give you more.
Toby: What would a true brother do?
Michael: A true brother would die for his fellow brother.
Toby: That’s right. I’ve taught you well. Now I feast.
Toby drinks Michael’s blood from his arm.
Michael: Awww, man, that feels good.
Janet appears.
Janet: Michael, what are you doing?
Michael: Nothing.
Toby: Get out of here you stupid retard!
Michael: Don’t say that word. Do not use that word.
Janet: Michael. I’m scared.
Toby: Cut her too. I want to drink her blood. I’m still thirsty.
Michael: So?
Alfred appears from behind the curtain. Judy follows.
Alfred: Don’t you know right from wrong?
Toby: Don’t you know what you want? Weren’t you determined to beat him at his own filthy money game? Make yourself a fortune. . .your way.
Judy: Yes. Yes I was.
Michael: I knew you were just after my father’s money!
Alfred: That’s what men do, Michael. They make a ton of money so they can fuck around with women. They make fortunes so they can have empires of women. That’s what men do. Aren’t you a man? Why haven’t you married?
Judy: You always said there was something wrong with him.
Alfred: I can say that, but you can’t.
Judy: I’m only saying.
Janet: What are all of you saying?
Toby: I’d kill all of them for you, buddy. Is this how you treat me? I want to drink. Kill them all. Think of the alley. Think of the rain. Think of all the pain.
Janet: I don’t know anything about you Michael. I don’t know you. Tell me about yourself.
Michael: I don’t want to talk about my family with any of you! I want to forget.
Toby: If they are dead, you will forget.
Paula’s voice sounds, but she is unseen.
Paula: But you’ll never forget me. Will you? The only thing that is real is love and loyalty, Michael. You have to find love and loyalty.
Michael: I have found love. I love him.
Toby pulls a chain and everyone disappears.
Paula: You can get rid of the sights of the world and you can run from your problems, but the truth always emerges in the sound of love. Wake up, Michael. Wake up. Fucking wake up.
Toby: You’ve felt how good it is to drink blood. Don’t forget that.
Paula: Wake up. Wake up. Wake up.
Paula’s voice merges into Toby’s voice.
Toby: Don’t forget to wake up. Wake up. Wake up.
Michael’s eyes open. He is back in the closet. Toby stands over him.
Michael: What the fuck? What are you doing here?
Toby: I had to see you.
Michael: Why?
Toby: I- I-
Michael: What the hell? Is Janet home?
Toby: No. She’s not here.
Michael: She must be at work.
Toby: I climbed in the fire escape.
Michael: How did you know which apartment was-
Toby: I followed you once.
Michael: I just had a really bad dream.
Toby: Yeah? Well we’re in the clear.
Michael: What do you mean?
Toby: I just got rid of her. She’s gone.
Michael: I don’t want to talk about it.
Toby: Come here.
Michael: No.
Toby: Let me lay with you for a few minutes.
Michael: I don’t think I should see you.
Toby: Why? I love you.
Michael: What?
Toby: I said. I love you.
Michael: Really?
Toby: I do. I do, buddy. I do.
Michael: Prove it.
Toby: Let me lie down.
Michael: Nobody is stopping you.
Toby climbs into bed with Michael.
Toby: We’re gonna make this work. We are.
Michael: I hope so.
Friday, July 27, 2007
Sunday, July 22, 2007
40: Clearly Moved
Jessica’s apartment. Everything is packed in boxes, but not very well. A lot of loose items, blankets, lamp shades, wrappers, and garbage still litter the place. One of the walls is heavily cracked and smeared with blood. On a tiled floor is a plate glass table and four wooden chairs with wheels and on the other half of the apartment a balcony that overlooks the parking lot. The front door opens and Jessica, Tom, and Clark enter. Tom sees the place and gasps.
Clark: You didn’t tell him?
Jessica: Tell him what?
Tom: Is that blood?
Clark and Jessica exchange a glance.
Jessica: I’m going to go down and help my dad get the trailer ready. Clark. . .can you let him-
Clark: Sure.
Tom: What’s going on?
Jessica exits. Clark and Tom stand face to face.
Clark: So here’s the deal, man. Jessica and I are really happy that you are helping us move today. Well her. Helping her move. This means a lot to us. Did she pay you yet?
Tom: No.
Clark: Well make sure to remind me to have her pay you. Seriously. (pause) How much did she say she’d give you?
Tom: Sixty for the afternoon?
Clark: Only sixty? I’ll throw in an extra twenty for sure. Sixty? That’s not worth this.
Tom: What exactly are we doing, Clark? Aren’t we helping her move? Why is there blood on the wall?
Clark: Miguel did that. Miguel is Jessica’s boyfriend. He has a temper. He-
Tom: I saw scratches on Jessica’s neck last week. She said she did it to herself.
Clark: She did. When she was prying his hands off of her own neck.
Tom: Ouch.
Clark: Yeah.
Tom: So where is Miguel now?
Clark: I don’t know.
Tom: You don’t know?
Clark: Nobody does. Really.
Tom: What’d this guy do?
Clark: Well, Jessica and I were hanging out and this guy just started destroying her shit. He also called over to Roberto’s Uncle and threatened Domino directly.
Tom: Why?
Clark: Miguel fell off the wagon.
Tom: (Silence)
Clark: Have you ever seen a crack addict come back to crack again? He’s a crazy mother fucker. He found out that Jessica and I had been hanging out. He started reading her e-mails. He went ballistic. He attacked her. She just barely managed to escape and then he went ape shit on all of her stuff. It’s been a really hard time.
Tom: I imagine.
Clark: He’s gone now. But he took a hammer to everything here. And the worst part of it all is that Jessica’s friends have turned on her too.
Tom: Why?
Clark: I guess there is an unspoken solidarity between couples who meet in rehab. They did live here together until he went crazy, but because he fell off the wagon, everybody’s mad that Jessica wasn’t there to support him. But how could she have known?
Tom: Maybe because she was hanging out with you?
Clark: What is that supposed to mean?
Tom: Oh. I didn’t mean anything-
Jessica: (re-enters) So did you tell him?
Tom: Yeah, he told me.
Clark: Yeah.
Jessica: Oh, my table. Oh thank god. My glass table. I’m so fucking happy that his hammer didn’t get you. Seriously, I can’t believe he didn’t smash this. I love this table. You two have to promise to be so careful when you are moving this thing. It means the world to me. Did he tell you how he tried to kill me with his hammer? He did. He had this big hammer. Oh, Tom, it was horrible. Could you imagine being chased by a maniac with a hammer?
Tom: Not really. Wasn’t he your boyfriend?
Jessica: We broke up.
Tom: Oh. Do you know where he is now?
Jessica: That fucker Miguel? Oh no. His mother lives in town here, but he doesn’t really talk to her much.
Tom: Aren’t you afraid, he’ll come back?
Jessica: I guess I hadn’t thought about it.
Tom: So where are we moving all of this to?
Jessica: My parent’s house. It’s going to be a three hour drive.
Tom: Three hours? You didn’t mention that.
Jessica: I thought I had.
Tom: No, you hadn’t. I don’t know if I have three hours time.
Jessica: Well six total, because plus we have to drive back.
Tom: Geez.
Clark: Look man. We really really appreciate your help. Just help us with what you can. We can take care of the rest.
Jessica: It’s just that whatever you can do would be great, because my dad has a really bad back –that’s why he is just driving the trailer- and I can’t- well I can’t help because I’m about to pop.
Tom: Wait. . .so it’s me and you?
Clark: Yup.
Jessica: So the longer you stay, the less Clark has to do on his own.
Clark: True.
Tom: I see.
Clark: Did you order the pizza?
Jessica: No, sweetie, I thought you were going to do that.
Clark: I didn’t.
Tom: Wait. Your boyfriend- I mean ex-boyfriend is out there. . .somewhere. We don’t know where. And we are just here in this place. . . with blood ummm everywhere. . .and then we are going to sit and eat pizza in this place and just sit here calmly eating pizza and not worrying about anything. . .not worrying about our LIVES?!
Jessica: Sure.
Tom: What if he comes back?
Jessica: I hadn’t thought about that. What are you doing?
Clark: I’m checking the football game scores on my phone. I get internet on my cell phone.
Tom: I feel like that should wait. I feel like we should get a move on.
A car horn.
Jessica: (calling off the balcony) Just a second, Daddy! Oh wait, there’s the landlady. I gotta go speak to her about breaking the lease.
Clark: Let’s get the table.
Jessica: Be really really super careful. I want to keep the things that weren’t destroyed. Nice. . . .I mean it. Careful, Clark.
Clark: We will. Better go talk to her.
Jessica exits. Clark and Tom lift the table and slowly move towards the door.
Clark: You know. I’m thinking that maybe we’ll want the table down last and the chairs down first. I mean in the order that we take them to the first floor. What do you think?
Tom: I don’t know what to think.
Clark: Lemme go ask her dad which way he wants to load things up.
Tom: Fine.
Clark exits. Tom is alone in the apartment. He gets the shivers. He sits. He stands. He goes to the wall and puts his hand on the massive crack. He goes to the balcony and looks out.
Tom: (thinking) Don’t judge Jessica. She may be fat. Have red hair, A gap between her teeth, but she is still a person. A person who was addicted to crack. You have to help her. You promised you would. People need help. Sometimes. Miguel must have loved her a lot or hated her a lot. Love makes people act insane. I have never loved anybody. I wonder what if feels like. Does Clark love her now? Is he going to be her baby’s daddy? Miguel must be the father. The things men do for women. Ha. The things they do to them. . .that’s more like it. I don’t even know who these people are. I don’t know Clark. I don’t really know Jessica. . .they don’t know me. I could be anyone. Ha. I could be. But I don’t have anyone else.
Throughout the monologue, a corpselike figure has appeared without a shirt on from the back bedroom. Weakly it approaches Tom. Tom turns around just in time to see the eyes peering into him. There is a connection between them and Clark re-enters just in time to see Miguel approaching him.
Tom: Clark!
Clark: Nobody move.
Tom: Who is this?
Miguel: Have you ever seen the devil before?
Clark: It’s Miguel. Fuck. It’s him. I don’t want Jessica to come up here. (calling) Jessica just stay outside.
Tom: (looking out balcony) She’s still talking to the landlady.
Jessica: (off) What? What did you say?
Clark: (calling) Nothing! Everything’s fine! Good. I don’t want to see her get upset.
Miguel: Have you? Have you ever seen the devil?
Tom: I don’t think so.
Clark: He must be coming down off of a bender. He’s probably really weak. Don’t worry about it.
Tom: How can I not worry about it?
Clark grabs a plate of glass from the table and smashes it down on Miguel’s head.
Miguel: Fuck.
Miguel collapses.
Tom: I think I was sprayed with some blood.
Clark: Are you alright?
Jessica: (re-entering) Are you all- Oh my God!
Clark: Somebody call the fucking cops.
Miguel: Do you know what it’s like to be a vampire? Oh, you?
Jessica: I can’t look at him.
Miguel: I’m going to kill you.
Jessica runs screaming from the place.
Clark: Just stay on the ground. Tom’s calling the police.
Tom: (on phone) Yeah. I’d like to report an assault. We have detained some guy. You might want to get down here. The address? I have no idea.
Clark: Gimme. (on the phone) The apartments behind the mall. The apartments behind the mall. I’m gonna kill him if you don’t get down here in five minutes. Yeah. Yeah.
Miguel: I think I’m bleeding.
Tom: You are.
Miguel: I think it feels good. My head was hurting for a long time.
Tom: Mine hurts a lot too.
Clark: Listen you. Shut up. The cops are gonna be here and they are gonna put you away. I’m not kidding. Come on, Tom. Let’s leave this guy here. I don’t want to look at his face.
Tom: I’m just gonna put this-
Clark: No. Don’t.
Tom: Blood’ll be all over everything. This way, the pillow’ll catch it.
Clark: I don’t know why you’d even want to touch that slimebag.
Tom places a pillow under Miguel’s head.
Clark: (exiting) Hurry your ass up.
Miguel: When I kill- I won’t kill you.
Tom stares at Miguel and then runs out.
Miguel: The devil does have mercy sometimes. Sometimes.
Clark: You didn’t tell him?
Jessica: Tell him what?
Tom: Is that blood?
Clark and Jessica exchange a glance.
Jessica: I’m going to go down and help my dad get the trailer ready. Clark. . .can you let him-
Clark: Sure.
Tom: What’s going on?
Jessica exits. Clark and Tom stand face to face.
Clark: So here’s the deal, man. Jessica and I are really happy that you are helping us move today. Well her. Helping her move. This means a lot to us. Did she pay you yet?
Tom: No.
Clark: Well make sure to remind me to have her pay you. Seriously. (pause) How much did she say she’d give you?
Tom: Sixty for the afternoon?
Clark: Only sixty? I’ll throw in an extra twenty for sure. Sixty? That’s not worth this.
Tom: What exactly are we doing, Clark? Aren’t we helping her move? Why is there blood on the wall?
Clark: Miguel did that. Miguel is Jessica’s boyfriend. He has a temper. He-
Tom: I saw scratches on Jessica’s neck last week. She said she did it to herself.
Clark: She did. When she was prying his hands off of her own neck.
Tom: Ouch.
Clark: Yeah.
Tom: So where is Miguel now?
Clark: I don’t know.
Tom: You don’t know?
Clark: Nobody does. Really.
Tom: What’d this guy do?
Clark: Well, Jessica and I were hanging out and this guy just started destroying her shit. He also called over to Roberto’s Uncle and threatened Domino directly.
Tom: Why?
Clark: Miguel fell off the wagon.
Tom: (Silence)
Clark: Have you ever seen a crack addict come back to crack again? He’s a crazy mother fucker. He found out that Jessica and I had been hanging out. He started reading her e-mails. He went ballistic. He attacked her. She just barely managed to escape and then he went ape shit on all of her stuff. It’s been a really hard time.
Tom: I imagine.
Clark: He’s gone now. But he took a hammer to everything here. And the worst part of it all is that Jessica’s friends have turned on her too.
Tom: Why?
Clark: I guess there is an unspoken solidarity between couples who meet in rehab. They did live here together until he went crazy, but because he fell off the wagon, everybody’s mad that Jessica wasn’t there to support him. But how could she have known?
Tom: Maybe because she was hanging out with you?
Clark: What is that supposed to mean?
Tom: Oh. I didn’t mean anything-
Jessica: (re-enters) So did you tell him?
Tom: Yeah, he told me.
Clark: Yeah.
Jessica: Oh, my table. Oh thank god. My glass table. I’m so fucking happy that his hammer didn’t get you. Seriously, I can’t believe he didn’t smash this. I love this table. You two have to promise to be so careful when you are moving this thing. It means the world to me. Did he tell you how he tried to kill me with his hammer? He did. He had this big hammer. Oh, Tom, it was horrible. Could you imagine being chased by a maniac with a hammer?
Tom: Not really. Wasn’t he your boyfriend?
Jessica: We broke up.
Tom: Oh. Do you know where he is now?
Jessica: That fucker Miguel? Oh no. His mother lives in town here, but he doesn’t really talk to her much.
Tom: Aren’t you afraid, he’ll come back?
Jessica: I guess I hadn’t thought about it.
Tom: So where are we moving all of this to?
Jessica: My parent’s house. It’s going to be a three hour drive.
Tom: Three hours? You didn’t mention that.
Jessica: I thought I had.
Tom: No, you hadn’t. I don’t know if I have three hours time.
Jessica: Well six total, because plus we have to drive back.
Tom: Geez.
Clark: Look man. We really really appreciate your help. Just help us with what you can. We can take care of the rest.
Jessica: It’s just that whatever you can do would be great, because my dad has a really bad back –that’s why he is just driving the trailer- and I can’t- well I can’t help because I’m about to pop.
Tom: Wait. . .so it’s me and you?
Clark: Yup.
Jessica: So the longer you stay, the less Clark has to do on his own.
Clark: True.
Tom: I see.
Clark: Did you order the pizza?
Jessica: No, sweetie, I thought you were going to do that.
Clark: I didn’t.
Tom: Wait. Your boyfriend- I mean ex-boyfriend is out there. . .somewhere. We don’t know where. And we are just here in this place. . . with blood ummm everywhere. . .and then we are going to sit and eat pizza in this place and just sit here calmly eating pizza and not worrying about anything. . .not worrying about our LIVES?!
Jessica: Sure.
Tom: What if he comes back?
Jessica: I hadn’t thought about that. What are you doing?
Clark: I’m checking the football game scores on my phone. I get internet on my cell phone.
Tom: I feel like that should wait. I feel like we should get a move on.
A car horn.
Jessica: (calling off the balcony) Just a second, Daddy! Oh wait, there’s the landlady. I gotta go speak to her about breaking the lease.
Clark: Let’s get the table.
Jessica: Be really really super careful. I want to keep the things that weren’t destroyed. Nice. . . .I mean it. Careful, Clark.
Clark: We will. Better go talk to her.
Jessica exits. Clark and Tom lift the table and slowly move towards the door.
Clark: You know. I’m thinking that maybe we’ll want the table down last and the chairs down first. I mean in the order that we take them to the first floor. What do you think?
Tom: I don’t know what to think.
Clark: Lemme go ask her dad which way he wants to load things up.
Tom: Fine.
Clark exits. Tom is alone in the apartment. He gets the shivers. He sits. He stands. He goes to the wall and puts his hand on the massive crack. He goes to the balcony and looks out.
Tom: (thinking) Don’t judge Jessica. She may be fat. Have red hair, A gap between her teeth, but she is still a person. A person who was addicted to crack. You have to help her. You promised you would. People need help. Sometimes. Miguel must have loved her a lot or hated her a lot. Love makes people act insane. I have never loved anybody. I wonder what if feels like. Does Clark love her now? Is he going to be her baby’s daddy? Miguel must be the father. The things men do for women. Ha. The things they do to them. . .that’s more like it. I don’t even know who these people are. I don’t know Clark. I don’t really know Jessica. . .they don’t know me. I could be anyone. Ha. I could be. But I don’t have anyone else.
Throughout the monologue, a corpselike figure has appeared without a shirt on from the back bedroom. Weakly it approaches Tom. Tom turns around just in time to see the eyes peering into him. There is a connection between them and Clark re-enters just in time to see Miguel approaching him.
Tom: Clark!
Clark: Nobody move.
Tom: Who is this?
Miguel: Have you ever seen the devil before?
Clark: It’s Miguel. Fuck. It’s him. I don’t want Jessica to come up here. (calling) Jessica just stay outside.
Tom: (looking out balcony) She’s still talking to the landlady.
Jessica: (off) What? What did you say?
Clark: (calling) Nothing! Everything’s fine! Good. I don’t want to see her get upset.
Miguel: Have you? Have you ever seen the devil?
Tom: I don’t think so.
Clark: He must be coming down off of a bender. He’s probably really weak. Don’t worry about it.
Tom: How can I not worry about it?
Clark grabs a plate of glass from the table and smashes it down on Miguel’s head.
Miguel: Fuck.
Miguel collapses.
Tom: I think I was sprayed with some blood.
Clark: Are you alright?
Jessica: (re-entering) Are you all- Oh my God!
Clark: Somebody call the fucking cops.
Miguel: Do you know what it’s like to be a vampire? Oh, you?
Jessica: I can’t look at him.
Miguel: I’m going to kill you.
Jessica runs screaming from the place.
Clark: Just stay on the ground. Tom’s calling the police.
Tom: (on phone) Yeah. I’d like to report an assault. We have detained some guy. You might want to get down here. The address? I have no idea.
Clark: Gimme. (on the phone) The apartments behind the mall. The apartments behind the mall. I’m gonna kill him if you don’t get down here in five minutes. Yeah. Yeah.
Miguel: I think I’m bleeding.
Tom: You are.
Miguel: I think it feels good. My head was hurting for a long time.
Tom: Mine hurts a lot too.
Clark: Listen you. Shut up. The cops are gonna be here and they are gonna put you away. I’m not kidding. Come on, Tom. Let’s leave this guy here. I don’t want to look at his face.
Tom: I’m just gonna put this-
Clark: No. Don’t.
Tom: Blood’ll be all over everything. This way, the pillow’ll catch it.
Clark: I don’t know why you’d even want to touch that slimebag.
Tom places a pillow under Miguel’s head.
Clark: (exiting) Hurry your ass up.
Miguel: When I kill- I won’t kill you.
Tom stares at Miguel and then runs out.
Miguel: The devil does have mercy sometimes. Sometimes.
Monday, June 11, 2007
39: Dreaming from whence they came.
Judy stands in the kitchen. Somewhere a TV plays and Kitty watches it enthusiastically. Judy goes to plug in a beater, but the mess of cords and plugs in the way makes her want to give up.
TV: (off) Let’s follow Brown Bear to his cave where he will continue to dream.
Kitty: (off) Yay! Brown Bear! I love you, Brown Bear.
Judy: Quiet down! Mommy’s trying to think.
Kitty: (off) Shhhh! Mommy’s trying to think, Brown Bear.
TV: (off) Brown Bear spends fifteen minutes a day dreaming. Do you dream? Do you want to dream? What do you dream about? Do you have goals? What do you want to do with your life? Brown Bear would like to be a chef. See his hat. See his spatula? Brown Bear helps his mommy in the kitchen. What do you want to be when you grow up?
Kitty: (off) Ballerina!
Judy: Happy.
Clara enters.
Clara: Ms. Judy. Ms. Judy.
Judy: What is it?
Clara: Alfred did not go to work this morning.
Judy: I know that.
Clara: He’s very sick. He can barely speak.
Judy: I know. I’m baking some cookies.
Clara: Maybe we should go to the doctor.
Judy: Doctor? Nonsense. Nonsense.
Clara: If he is like this tomorrow, I’m going to call a Doctor.
Judy: I think we should. If he is like this tomorrow.
Clara: Fine.
TV: (off) Brown Bear loves his friends. He loves his mommy too. Brown Bear loves his family.
Judy: Turn that racket off, Kitty. Now.
Clara: Ms. Judy.
Judy: I don’t want to listen to it anymore. I have to listen to that damn Brown Bear program every single day.
Clara: It’s just a show for the ninos.
Judy: What?
Clara: It’s a kids show.
Judy: I know that. But I’m sick of all the noise. How can I plug in this beater?
Clara: Unplug something.
Judy: But I need this plugged in and this and that. We need a bigger house that’s what we need.
Alfred appears. He is very pale, feeble, and weak. His eyes are barely open. He wears a bathrobe.
Clara: Oh, Senor. You should not be up.
Alfred: I need some water.
Clara: How do you feel?
Alfred: Achey. Achey.
Clara: Oh, I know.
Alfred: Is she here yet?
Clara: No.
Judy: Who? Is who here?
Alfred: The nurse. Kitty’s nurse.
Judy: What?
Alfred: I told you I wanted to hire back Kitty’s nurse. I hired back Clara. She’s coming today.
Judy: Another mouth to feed?
Alfred: Why are you concerned about that? You who buy the expensive dresses.
Judy: Just leave me alone, Alfred. Just please do.
Alfred: What are you doing?
Judy: I’m making cookies.
Alfred: Don’t. It’s Clara’s job.
Judy: I like to cook, Alfred.
Alfred: Since when?
Judy: Since I’ve been trying to find more things to do. That’s why. You even said yourself that I don’t have any hobbies.
Alfred: I guess you’re right. But you make such an awful mess. I need a cup of coffee, Clara, can you get that for me?
Judy: I got it.
Alfred: No, Clara.
Judy: I said I got it.
Alfred: I don’t like your coffee, Judy. I don’t.
Judy: Fine. Clara just get-
Clara: I know.
Judy continues to make the cookies in anger, Clara unplugs some things to make the coffee, and Alfred sits at the table.
Clara: Hey, does anyone know where my electric can opener went? I left it here when I left the first time and it has disappeared.
Alfred and Judy exchange a glance.
Judy: No.
Alfred: Haven’t seen it.
Clara: Oh. I swear that I left it here.
Alfred: Aww. My head.
Clara: What does it feel like? Is it bad? Do you need to go to the ‘Ospital?
Alfred: No.
Judy continues with the cookies. She holds a spoon of the stuff over the mixture.
Alfred: I’ll tell you what it really feels like –food poisoning.
Judy puts the spoon back in the jar.
Judy: Really?
Alfred: Yes, really. I mean no offence to you, Clara.
Clara: None taken.
Judy whirls around.
Judy: Oh. But you mean offence to me. Huh? Is that it?
Alfred: I don’t really.
Judy: Why can’t you be nice to me, Alfred? Why? What happened to us?
Alfred: The answer is nothing. Nothing happened.
Judy: You got bored and your hormones went on a rollercoaster ride. Is that it? Had to find some other people to fuck? Some better fucks!
Alfred: Calm down, Kitty-
Judy: I will not calm down. We are going to live together till the end Alfred. And you are going to like it.
Alfred: Ha. Fat chance.
Judy: We’ll see about that.
Clara: Ummm. I’m sorry.
Alfred: There is nothing to be sorry about. Thank you for the cup.
Clara: No. I just feel-
Alfred: No need to feel-
Clara: Why don’t you two get a divorce?
Silence. Alfred stands.
Alfred: I have to go back to bed.
Judy: Wait. I’ll tell you why, Clara. Because I married this man for love. I still love him. Even though he is hard headed. I will not divorce him.
Alfred: That’s enough.
Clara: But you are both so-
Alfred: Clara, thank you for your perspective, but I will not be getting a divorce.
Judy: Oh, no Clara, Alfred just waits until he kills his wives and then he moves on.
Alfred: You bitch.
Alfred comes at her, just as she scoops the “stuff” into the batter. The doorbell.
Clara: Senor!
Alfred: It must be the nurse. Go let her in.
Judy: I couldn’t stand that Maggie woman.
Alfred: I’m sure she couldn’t stand you. It’s not Maggie. It’s-
Clara opens the front door. Cindy stands there with suitcases.
Cindy: Hi ya!
Judy: You.
Cindy: How are you doing?
Judy: You want to avoid a scandal, Alfred? Oh just you wait. I’ll give you a scandal.
Judy throws the batter into the refrigerator and takes the brown bag with the “stuff” and huffs down the stairs. Kitty appears at the front door as Cindy goes up the stairs.
Kitty: Hi Cindy lady!
Cindy: Hi, there.
Alfred: Where are you going?
Judy: Out. To have a little fun.
Alfred: Judy.
Judy: What?
Alfred: Don’t you do anything that you’ll regret.
Judy: You can have yours. I can have mine. I’m outta here.
Kitty: Mommy-
Judy: What?
Kitty: Nevermind.
Judy: What is it?
Kitty: Will it hurt to burn?
Judy: What are you talking about?
Kitty: Nothing.
Judy: (to Cindy) Have fun with her. She’s a handful.
Judy stamps out putting her coat on. The front door closes behind her and she is on the stoop. Clara looks out the living room window after her. She starts to walk. The leaves are falling. She walks several blocks.
Judy: (thinking) They suspect. They know. I’ll have to call him again. I have to get something else. Something quicker. Something more. More than what that is.
Judy turns onto Pine Tree Lane. She walks a ways and goes to a house that is all the way at the end of the block. It is secluded by many trees and weeping willows. She goes into the gate which squeaks and then goes up to the door. She knocks the knocker. After awhile, Charles appears.
Charles: Hello. I didn’t expect to see you again so soon.
Judy: I just wanted to stop over and say hello. Thank you for the walk last evening. It was lovely.
Charles: Oh I didn’t mind. I quite enjoyed myself. I like your top.
Judy: Thank you. Thank you very much.
Charles: Did you want to come in?
Judy: No. I was hoping we could go on another walk.
Charles: I don’t know-
Judy: It’ll be fine. Do you have the time?
Charles: Sure. Did you want to come in for a bit?
Judy: I better not.
Charles: I really, really, really like your top.
Judy: Thanks.
Charles: Sorry.
Judy: Sorry for what?
Charles: Nothing. Let me just have a second.
Charles disappears inside for a second. He returns with an umbrella.
Judy: An umbrella?
Charles: For the sun. It’s very sunny.
Judy: You are so old fashioned.
Charles: Not really. I just don’t want to get skin cancer.
Judy: I used to tan. But now . . .now I don’t do anything.
They walk.
Charles: Anything?
Judy: I have always just done what I could, you know? I never really thought about what I wanted. Do you know?
Charles: No, I’m not sure I follow.
Judy: When I was a little girl, I wanted to be rich. That’s all that mattered. It is all that mattered.
Charles: What’s wrong with that?
Judy: I’m not very happy. I’m realizing money isn’t everything.
Charles: But it’s something. It’s definitely something.
A car passes. Someone shouts:
Driver: Go back where you belong, asshole!
Judy: Did you hear that?
Charles: What?
Judy: That man screaming at us.
Charles: I didn’t think he was screaming at us. Do you want to go back to my house?
Judy: No, I don’t. Why do you keep asking me that?
Charles: It’s awfully sunny.
Judy: I know.
Charles: Sorry.
Judy: Don’t apologize. What a weird thing to say. Anyway, I think I missed out on dreaming in my childhood or something. Do you dream?
Charles: What do you mean?
Judy: Do you dream? Do you think about what you want out of life?
Charles: Sometimes.
Judy: And are you happy?
Charles: Sorta. I’ve made some mistakes.
Judy: Haven’t we all. Haven’t we all.
A lady is across the street. She screams:
Lady: Don’t you dare come across this street or I’ll beat you, you pervert!
Judy: You had to have heard that.
Charles: I did.
Judy: I think she was talking to us.
Charles: I don’t think so.
Judy: I do. She was looking right over here. Oh. But she’s gone now. What a weird day.
Charles: Where were we?
Judy: Dreaming. What are your dreams, Charles?
Charles: I don’t think I can tell you all of them.
Judy: Oh. Charles. You can. You can share anything with me.
Charles: I’m a different sort of person, Judy. I am.
Judy: I don’t mind. I don’t. Really I don’t.
Charles: You are married.
Judy: Sometimes the word isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.
Charles: You aren’t happy?
Judy: Not really.
Charles: Has divorce crossed your mind?
Judy: I’ll just say more than once. But there is so much security here. I feel so safe living here. I don’t think I could move.
Charles: I wish I could say the same.
Judy: You don’t feel safe.
Another car:
Driver: Sick fuck! (The driver throws a wrench and it hits Charles in the head. He is down.)
Judy: Oh my God. Oh my God. Are you okay?
Mildred Pierce comes out of her home.
Mildred: Get out of here! You depraved sex freak!
Judy: (shouting) Are you talking to us?!
Charles: Don’t listen to them, Judy, don’t!
Mildred: Yes, I’m talking to you. You hussy! Get off my lawn.
Mildred goes into her house again.
Judy: Charles. You’re bleeding. It was a wrench. Are you okay?
Charles: I’ll be fine.
Judy helps Charles up.
Charles: People don’t like me, because I’m different.
Judy: You’re different?
Charles: Yes.
Judy: I see. Do you mind telling me what it is?
Charles: I’d rather not talk about it. Can you take me home?
Judy: Yes.
Charles: Will you come inside?
Judy: I better not.
Charles: I could make you happy.
Judy: We’ll see.
Charles: Good.
Judy: Are you sure you are okay now?
Charles: I’m not sure.
They walk from whence they came.
TV: (off) Let’s follow Brown Bear to his cave where he will continue to dream.
Kitty: (off) Yay! Brown Bear! I love you, Brown Bear.
Judy: Quiet down! Mommy’s trying to think.
Kitty: (off) Shhhh! Mommy’s trying to think, Brown Bear.
TV: (off) Brown Bear spends fifteen minutes a day dreaming. Do you dream? Do you want to dream? What do you dream about? Do you have goals? What do you want to do with your life? Brown Bear would like to be a chef. See his hat. See his spatula? Brown Bear helps his mommy in the kitchen. What do you want to be when you grow up?
Kitty: (off) Ballerina!
Judy: Happy.
Clara enters.
Clara: Ms. Judy. Ms. Judy.
Judy: What is it?
Clara: Alfred did not go to work this morning.
Judy: I know that.
Clara: He’s very sick. He can barely speak.
Judy: I know. I’m baking some cookies.
Clara: Maybe we should go to the doctor.
Judy: Doctor? Nonsense. Nonsense.
Clara: If he is like this tomorrow, I’m going to call a Doctor.
Judy: I think we should. If he is like this tomorrow.
Clara: Fine.
TV: (off) Brown Bear loves his friends. He loves his mommy too. Brown Bear loves his family.
Judy: Turn that racket off, Kitty. Now.
Clara: Ms. Judy.
Judy: I don’t want to listen to it anymore. I have to listen to that damn Brown Bear program every single day.
Clara: It’s just a show for the ninos.
Judy: What?
Clara: It’s a kids show.
Judy: I know that. But I’m sick of all the noise. How can I plug in this beater?
Clara: Unplug something.
Judy: But I need this plugged in and this and that. We need a bigger house that’s what we need.
Alfred appears. He is very pale, feeble, and weak. His eyes are barely open. He wears a bathrobe.
Clara: Oh, Senor. You should not be up.
Alfred: I need some water.
Clara: How do you feel?
Alfred: Achey. Achey.
Clara: Oh, I know.
Alfred: Is she here yet?
Clara: No.
Judy: Who? Is who here?
Alfred: The nurse. Kitty’s nurse.
Judy: What?
Alfred: I told you I wanted to hire back Kitty’s nurse. I hired back Clara. She’s coming today.
Judy: Another mouth to feed?
Alfred: Why are you concerned about that? You who buy the expensive dresses.
Judy: Just leave me alone, Alfred. Just please do.
Alfred: What are you doing?
Judy: I’m making cookies.
Alfred: Don’t. It’s Clara’s job.
Judy: I like to cook, Alfred.
Alfred: Since when?
Judy: Since I’ve been trying to find more things to do. That’s why. You even said yourself that I don’t have any hobbies.
Alfred: I guess you’re right. But you make such an awful mess. I need a cup of coffee, Clara, can you get that for me?
Judy: I got it.
Alfred: No, Clara.
Judy: I said I got it.
Alfred: I don’t like your coffee, Judy. I don’t.
Judy: Fine. Clara just get-
Clara: I know.
Judy continues to make the cookies in anger, Clara unplugs some things to make the coffee, and Alfred sits at the table.
Clara: Hey, does anyone know where my electric can opener went? I left it here when I left the first time and it has disappeared.
Alfred and Judy exchange a glance.
Judy: No.
Alfred: Haven’t seen it.
Clara: Oh. I swear that I left it here.
Alfred: Aww. My head.
Clara: What does it feel like? Is it bad? Do you need to go to the ‘Ospital?
Alfred: No.
Judy continues with the cookies. She holds a spoon of the stuff over the mixture.
Alfred: I’ll tell you what it really feels like –food poisoning.
Judy puts the spoon back in the jar.
Judy: Really?
Alfred: Yes, really. I mean no offence to you, Clara.
Clara: None taken.
Judy whirls around.
Judy: Oh. But you mean offence to me. Huh? Is that it?
Alfred: I don’t really.
Judy: Why can’t you be nice to me, Alfred? Why? What happened to us?
Alfred: The answer is nothing. Nothing happened.
Judy: You got bored and your hormones went on a rollercoaster ride. Is that it? Had to find some other people to fuck? Some better fucks!
Alfred: Calm down, Kitty-
Judy: I will not calm down. We are going to live together till the end Alfred. And you are going to like it.
Alfred: Ha. Fat chance.
Judy: We’ll see about that.
Clara: Ummm. I’m sorry.
Alfred: There is nothing to be sorry about. Thank you for the cup.
Clara: No. I just feel-
Alfred: No need to feel-
Clara: Why don’t you two get a divorce?
Silence. Alfred stands.
Alfred: I have to go back to bed.
Judy: Wait. I’ll tell you why, Clara. Because I married this man for love. I still love him. Even though he is hard headed. I will not divorce him.
Alfred: That’s enough.
Clara: But you are both so-
Alfred: Clara, thank you for your perspective, but I will not be getting a divorce.
Judy: Oh, no Clara, Alfred just waits until he kills his wives and then he moves on.
Alfred: You bitch.
Alfred comes at her, just as she scoops the “stuff” into the batter. The doorbell.
Clara: Senor!
Alfred: It must be the nurse. Go let her in.
Judy: I couldn’t stand that Maggie woman.
Alfred: I’m sure she couldn’t stand you. It’s not Maggie. It’s-
Clara opens the front door. Cindy stands there with suitcases.
Cindy: Hi ya!
Judy: You.
Cindy: How are you doing?
Judy: You want to avoid a scandal, Alfred? Oh just you wait. I’ll give you a scandal.
Judy throws the batter into the refrigerator and takes the brown bag with the “stuff” and huffs down the stairs. Kitty appears at the front door as Cindy goes up the stairs.
Kitty: Hi Cindy lady!
Cindy: Hi, there.
Alfred: Where are you going?
Judy: Out. To have a little fun.
Alfred: Judy.
Judy: What?
Alfred: Don’t you do anything that you’ll regret.
Judy: You can have yours. I can have mine. I’m outta here.
Kitty: Mommy-
Judy: What?
Kitty: Nevermind.
Judy: What is it?
Kitty: Will it hurt to burn?
Judy: What are you talking about?
Kitty: Nothing.
Judy: (to Cindy) Have fun with her. She’s a handful.
Judy stamps out putting her coat on. The front door closes behind her and she is on the stoop. Clara looks out the living room window after her. She starts to walk. The leaves are falling. She walks several blocks.
Judy: (thinking) They suspect. They know. I’ll have to call him again. I have to get something else. Something quicker. Something more. More than what that is.
Judy turns onto Pine Tree Lane. She walks a ways and goes to a house that is all the way at the end of the block. It is secluded by many trees and weeping willows. She goes into the gate which squeaks and then goes up to the door. She knocks the knocker. After awhile, Charles appears.
Charles: Hello. I didn’t expect to see you again so soon.
Judy: I just wanted to stop over and say hello. Thank you for the walk last evening. It was lovely.
Charles: Oh I didn’t mind. I quite enjoyed myself. I like your top.
Judy: Thank you. Thank you very much.
Charles: Did you want to come in?
Judy: No. I was hoping we could go on another walk.
Charles: I don’t know-
Judy: It’ll be fine. Do you have the time?
Charles: Sure. Did you want to come in for a bit?
Judy: I better not.
Charles: I really, really, really like your top.
Judy: Thanks.
Charles: Sorry.
Judy: Sorry for what?
Charles: Nothing. Let me just have a second.
Charles disappears inside for a second. He returns with an umbrella.
Judy: An umbrella?
Charles: For the sun. It’s very sunny.
Judy: You are so old fashioned.
Charles: Not really. I just don’t want to get skin cancer.
Judy: I used to tan. But now . . .now I don’t do anything.
They walk.
Charles: Anything?
Judy: I have always just done what I could, you know? I never really thought about what I wanted. Do you know?
Charles: No, I’m not sure I follow.
Judy: When I was a little girl, I wanted to be rich. That’s all that mattered. It is all that mattered.
Charles: What’s wrong with that?
Judy: I’m not very happy. I’m realizing money isn’t everything.
Charles: But it’s something. It’s definitely something.
A car passes. Someone shouts:
Driver: Go back where you belong, asshole!
Judy: Did you hear that?
Charles: What?
Judy: That man screaming at us.
Charles: I didn’t think he was screaming at us. Do you want to go back to my house?
Judy: No, I don’t. Why do you keep asking me that?
Charles: It’s awfully sunny.
Judy: I know.
Charles: Sorry.
Judy: Don’t apologize. What a weird thing to say. Anyway, I think I missed out on dreaming in my childhood or something. Do you dream?
Charles: What do you mean?
Judy: Do you dream? Do you think about what you want out of life?
Charles: Sometimes.
Judy: And are you happy?
Charles: Sorta. I’ve made some mistakes.
Judy: Haven’t we all. Haven’t we all.
A lady is across the street. She screams:
Lady: Don’t you dare come across this street or I’ll beat you, you pervert!
Judy: You had to have heard that.
Charles: I did.
Judy: I think she was talking to us.
Charles: I don’t think so.
Judy: I do. She was looking right over here. Oh. But she’s gone now. What a weird day.
Charles: Where were we?
Judy: Dreaming. What are your dreams, Charles?
Charles: I don’t think I can tell you all of them.
Judy: Oh. Charles. You can. You can share anything with me.
Charles: I’m a different sort of person, Judy. I am.
Judy: I don’t mind. I don’t. Really I don’t.
Charles: You are married.
Judy: Sometimes the word isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.
Charles: You aren’t happy?
Judy: Not really.
Charles: Has divorce crossed your mind?
Judy: I’ll just say more than once. But there is so much security here. I feel so safe living here. I don’t think I could move.
Charles: I wish I could say the same.
Judy: You don’t feel safe.
Another car:
Driver: Sick fuck! (The driver throws a wrench and it hits Charles in the head. He is down.)
Judy: Oh my God. Oh my God. Are you okay?
Mildred Pierce comes out of her home.
Mildred: Get out of here! You depraved sex freak!
Judy: (shouting) Are you talking to us?!
Charles: Don’t listen to them, Judy, don’t!
Mildred: Yes, I’m talking to you. You hussy! Get off my lawn.
Mildred goes into her house again.
Judy: Charles. You’re bleeding. It was a wrench. Are you okay?
Charles: I’ll be fine.
Judy helps Charles up.
Charles: People don’t like me, because I’m different.
Judy: You’re different?
Charles: Yes.
Judy: I see. Do you mind telling me what it is?
Charles: I’d rather not talk about it. Can you take me home?
Judy: Yes.
Charles: Will you come inside?
Judy: I better not.
Charles: I could make you happy.
Judy: We’ll see.
Charles: Good.
Judy: Are you sure you are okay now?
Charles: I’m not sure.
They walk from whence they came.
Saturday, June 9, 2007
38: In Pursuit of what they Want
Janet’s Living Room. Janet sleeps on the couch. Michael comes in quietly and quite dirty. He goes immediately to his closet room. The telephone rings. It wakes Janet up and she answers frantically.
Janet: Hello?
Wendy is at home in the same position nearly 24 hours later.
Wendy: Hello. I’m fucking Rapunzel.
Janet: I don’t know a Rapunzel.
Wendy: Sure you do. From the tales?
Janet: I don’t know a Tales. Mrs. Tales?
Wendy: It’s me. Wendy.
Janet: Oh.
Wendy: I’m a mess, Janet. A mess.
Janet: Does that mean Rapunzel?
Wendy: No. No. No. You know the fairy tale. Rapunzel?
Janet: No. I only know Pinocchio.
Wendy: You and your Pinocchio. Geez.
Janet: I love him.
Wendy: I’m ruined, Janet. Ruined. Paul left me last night.
Janet: Really?
Wendy: Yeah. Mother has forbid him to come here again and if I want to see him, I have to go to HIM.
Janet: Is that so bad?
Wendy: Yes! Didn’t you hear about that sex criminal on the loose?
Janet: No.
Wendy: Well there is and he moved into my neighborhood.
Janet: Oh.
Wendy: And your friend, your friend Paula!
Janet: What about her?
Wendy: She had Paul and I in for marriage counseling yesterday afternoon.
Janet: Where is she? Where is she now?
Wendy: I don’t know. How should I know?
Janet: She’s missing.
Wendy: I hope she’s dead. She ruined it for Paul and I.
Janet: Don’t say that Wendy!
Wendy: I don’t care. I’m so mad right now.
Janet: Her son is alone. Nobody can find her. The police are looking.
Wendy: I told you I don’t care, Janet!
Janet: You are a mean person, Wendy.
Silence
Wendy: (attempting to squeeze out tears from dry ducts) Oh I’ve been crying all night. Don’t make me cry anymore.
Janet: Don’t say mean things about Paula. She’s the nicest woman I know. Nobody knows where she is.
Wendy: Good. I never want to see her again.
Janet: Are you that mean?
Wendy: Janet. She told me that I was a recluse and that I needed to get out more. I get out fine. What does she know?
Janet: When? When do you go out?
Wendy: The point is I do. Not when or how often.
Janet: Fine. Just don’t be mean to Paula. I’m very worried about her.
Wendy: I’m sorry, Janet, but we just might not have the same friends.
Janet: I know. I know that. I hope Paula comes home. Her son is at the police station. He had to go there after Michael and I waited all night for Paula to come home.
Wendy: I don’t care right now, Janet. I only care about seeing Paul.
Janet: Doesn’t sound very hard. Go over to his house.
Wendy: But mother. . .
Janet: Is she holding you down?
Wendy: No, but she would be disappointed.
Janet: My mother once said sometimes children make their parents mad, but in the end, the children are okay. Sometimes you have to make your mommy mad. That’s what my mommy says.
Wendy: I see. Hmmmm.
Janet: Don’t worry. Everything will get better.
Mildred enters Wendy’s room.
Wendy: Don’t you knock?
Mildred: Tomato soup and grilled cheese at the kitchen table. I think you should eat something.
Wendy: I think I’m going to cry more.
(simultaneously)
Mildred: Suit yourself. Starve. Who are you talking to?
Janet: Go eat, Wendy.
Wendy: It’s just Janet. My friend. Don’t worry. It’s not him.
Mildred: I’m not worried. I know you’ll make the right decision. You’re a big girl.
Mildred exits.
Wendy: She’s gone.
Janet: Your mom said that you’ll make the right decision.
Wendy: She means the one that she has made for me. To live in this house an old spinster.
Janet: No, she wants you to make your own choices. What’s a spinster? Is that somebody who puts records on and spins them around?
Wendy: No. It’s a pathetic, old woman alone.
Janet: I see. That doesn’t sound very fun.
Wendy: What does Paula know! She’s not even married. How can she tell people how to behave?
Janet: That’s her job. People do that all the time.
Wendy: I don’t buy it. Janet. I just don’t!
(simultaneously)
Janet: Stop yelling!
Mildred: (off) Stop yelling, Wendy!
Wendy: (quieter) Maybe you are right.
Janet: I think I am.
Wendy: Of course you do. You have made me feel better.
Janet: Good. That’s what friends are for.
Wendy: So how are your wedding plans coming?
Janet: Good. Well. We haven’t made any plans yet. (pause) Am I still going to wear a dress in your wedding?
Wendy: We’ll see.
There is a knock on Janet’s door.
Janet: Wendy. I have to go. Somebody is here. It could be Paula!
Wendy: Fine. Fine. But call me soon. I’m going to be lonely locked up here.
Janet: Has someone locked your door?
Wendy: No, but. . .
Janet: Who’s stopping you from leaving?
Wendy: Nobody, but-
Janet: Wendy. Just do what you want to do.
Wendy: Fine. I will. Somehow.
Janet: Good.
Another knock.
Wendy: Okay. Bye.
Janet: I’ll call you soon. Bye.
Janet opens the door. Bill stands there.
Janet: How did you get in? Who are you?
Bill: My name is Bill Meriwether. (He flashes a badge.) I’m with the local police department. Are you Janet Windhover?
Janet: Yes. Why?
Bill: I’m here investigating the disappearance of Paula Pluckston.
Janet: Oh. Yes. Please come in.
Bill: Are you okay?
Janet: I’m fine. Why?
Bill: You look very tired.
Janet: I am tired.
Bill: I am tired myself. I haven’t been to bed much last night.
Janet: Why?
Bill: I have been going over the evidence that I have collected so far. You are the first person that I am talking to about this.
Janet: Oh. Did you find Paula? Is she okay?
Bill: We hope so. We really do.
Janet: I hope so too. I’m so worried. Paula is my bestest friend.
Bill: I understand that. Would you mind answering some questions for me?
Janet: Sure.
Bill: According to phone records of this apartment, you phoned Paula a few nights before she disappeared.
Janet: Yes. I was worried.
Bill: Okay. Why?
Janet: I called her early in the morning because my boyfriend didn’t come home. I’m going to marry him. What’s that called?
Bill: What’s what called?
Janet: When you are going to marry someone? What are they called?
Bill: The husband? The wedding. I don’t know what you are referring to.
Janet: He’s my financial.
Bill: I think you mean fiancée.
Janet: That’s it. My fiancée didn’t come home.
Bill: I see.
Janet: So I called Paula because she has always looked after me.
Bill: Why wouldn’t you phone your parents?
Janet: They don’t care about stuff like that. Paula’s my bestest friend.
Bill: She’s your best friend. There’s no bestest.
Janet: Oh.
Bill: Now. What happened then?
Janet: She came over to be with me. She brought her son. The stayed the night until my boyfriend came back.
Bill: Where was your boyfriend?
Janet: He was at work.
Bill: Oh.
Janet: So I was wrong. He wasn’t in trouble. He was just at work.
Bill: I see. What happened when he arrived home? Was Paula still here?
Janet: Yeah. She was.
Bill: What happened then?
Janet: We all talked. Paula yelled at him.
Bill: Wait. She yelled at your fiancée?
Janet: Yes.
Bill: Why?
Janet: Because he made us worry, but he told me that he had told me he was going to be to work and that I had forgot.
Bill: Did you forget?
Janet: I don’t think so, but I might have forgot that he told me. So I might have.
Bill: Are you of sane mind and body, Janet?
Janet: What does that mean?
Bill: Do you have any medical conditions or?
Janet: I don’t think so.
Bill: I see.
Janet: But-
Bill: Yes?
Janet: I have down syndrome.
Bill: You do?
Janet: Yes.
Bill: I see. (writes, pause) That day what happened next?
Janet: Paula left with her son. Said she had to go to work.
Bill: Uh huh.
Janet: Do you know where she might be? I miss her so. I really do, Mr. Bill. I miss her.
Bill: I understand. Her son misses her too. He’s at the precinct. Do you know of any relatives that Ms. Pluckston has? That we might contact? There seems to be no one we can contact about her son.
Janet: You can contact me.
Bill: And I have contacted you. She had many notes about you in her office and since she was here like I suspected the morning of her disappearance, I am very glad that you spoke with me today.
Janet: Do you know anything?
Bill: Not really. Not really that I can disclose at this time.
Janet: Oh I’m so worried. (Janet begins to cry. Bill stares after her.) Paula is the only person –well- besides my boyfriend that I think I love.
Bill: You don’t love your family?
Janet: I do. But not as much.
Bill: I see.
Janet: You don’t know where she went?
Bill: She had an appointment yesterday with a couple at her office and then I can’t visibly find a trace of her. Her car is still at the Beverly Judith Berry House where she worked. But it is empty and any identification belonging to her is missing.
Janet: Is that good or bad?
Bill: Not anything yet. Do you know any reason why Paula would want to run away?
Janet: No.
Bill: Would Paula ever abandon her work?
Janet: Never. Duty was her saying. She told me that once.
Bill: Good to know. Did anybody hate Paula?
Janet: Hate her?
Bill: Maybe that’s too harsh of words. . .did anybody not really like her that you knew of?
Janet: No. Everybody liked-
Bill: Think.
Janet: Wait.
Bill: Yes?
Janet: I just talked to my friend. I don’t think she liked Paula.
Bill: Who is your friend?
Janet: Her name is Wendy Pierce. She hates people.
Bill: Really?
Janet: Why do you want to know this?
Bill: Janet. When somebody doesn’t like someone, they may want to harm them. You know what harm is?
Janet: Like slap them? Yes. I know what that is.
Bill: Good. Somebody may have wanted to harm or hurt Paula. Do you think that Wendy would do that?
Janet: I don’t think so. She doesn’t like to get near people.
Bill: I see. Well, I shouldn’t tell you this, but Wendy is the last recorded person to have seen Paula yesterday. I think this is suspicious. I do need to speak with her.
Janet: Oh. You don’t think-
Bill: We don’t make conclusions about anything until we have evidence of something, Janet. Don’t worry about that. Right now I just need to talk to her. Do you know where I can find her?
Janet: Yes. She lives with her mother. On Pine Lane.
Bill: I know exactly where that is. (writes, pause) Do you know why Wendy hated her?
Janet: I don’t think she hated her. I think she didn’t like her. She said Paula said mean things. But I think Paula said right things.
Bill: What did Paula say to Wendy? What did Wendy say that she said?
Janet: Wendy said that Paula ruined her chances with her boyfriend, Paul.
Bill: Were Paul and Paula intimate?
Janet: What’s intimate?
Bill: Were they close?
Janet: I don’t know. I don’t think so.
Bill: I see. Janet, thank you very much for your time. I don’t think that I will need anything else from you today. I will be calling you back though, I have no doubts about that. Here is my card. If you ever, EVER need anything from me or want to know anything about Paula, call this number. If you also think that you hear or see anything about Paula, I need you to call this number. Do you think that you can do that?
Janet: Yes. Yes of course.
Bill: I have to speak with some other people now. But let me know if you think anybody else would hurt Paula. Can you do that?
Janet: Yes. I think. I know how to use a phone.
Bill: Good.
Janet: Do you want anything to eat or drink, Mr. Bill?
Bill: Oh, I’m okay. Thank you.
Janet: Paula taught me that I’m always supposed to ask people if they are hungry when they come to my house and offer them something.
Bill: That’s very good of her. (He begins to leave.)
Janet: Mr. Bill-
Bill: Yes?
Janet: Do you think that you will find her?
Bill: I hope so. Is your boyfriend here?
Janet: No. I don’t think so.
Bill: Does he live here?
Janet: (Silence.)
Bill: I may want to speak to him.
Janet: I understand.
Bill: I will try back later. Thanks again.
Bill exits. Janet sits down and Michael comes out of the closet. He comes up behind Janet.
Michael: How are you doing?
Janet: UH! You scared me.
Michael: I’m sorry.
Janet: Did you hear the Mr. Bill man from the police station?
Michael: Yes. Yes I did.
Janet: Why didn’t you come out?
Michael: I was taking a nap. I had to work. Janet?
Janet: What?
Michael: Don’t tell him about me at all. Will you?
Janet: Why?
Michael: I am scared of him.
Janet: Why?
Michael: Police scare me sometimes. They are not always honest. They are like Pinocchio.
Janet: Then I like them. He’s trying to find Paula. Maybe his nose will be so big, he’ll find her!
Michael: No. (pause) They haven’t found her yet?
Janet: No.
Michael: I think of the giant whale in the story, Janet. I don’t think of Pinocchio when I think of police. I think of a giant whale that swallows you whole and will not let you breathe or see. I think of being inside a whale my whole life and I get scared.
Janet: Don’t be scared. They are trying to do good.
Michael: I try.
Janet: Are we going to get married?
Michael: Yes. Of course. Why do you ask?
Janet: Why don’t we act like it?
Michael: We do. I- I- I-(quickly) love you.
Janet: We should plan our wedding soon. We should.
Michael: We will. Maybe Paula would like to help. We can start just as soon as she turns up.
Janet: I hope she turns up soon.
Michael: Me too.
Janet: Hello?
Wendy is at home in the same position nearly 24 hours later.
Wendy: Hello. I’m fucking Rapunzel.
Janet: I don’t know a Rapunzel.
Wendy: Sure you do. From the tales?
Janet: I don’t know a Tales. Mrs. Tales?
Wendy: It’s me. Wendy.
Janet: Oh.
Wendy: I’m a mess, Janet. A mess.
Janet: Does that mean Rapunzel?
Wendy: No. No. No. You know the fairy tale. Rapunzel?
Janet: No. I only know Pinocchio.
Wendy: You and your Pinocchio. Geez.
Janet: I love him.
Wendy: I’m ruined, Janet. Ruined. Paul left me last night.
Janet: Really?
Wendy: Yeah. Mother has forbid him to come here again and if I want to see him, I have to go to HIM.
Janet: Is that so bad?
Wendy: Yes! Didn’t you hear about that sex criminal on the loose?
Janet: No.
Wendy: Well there is and he moved into my neighborhood.
Janet: Oh.
Wendy: And your friend, your friend Paula!
Janet: What about her?
Wendy: She had Paul and I in for marriage counseling yesterday afternoon.
Janet: Where is she? Where is she now?
Wendy: I don’t know. How should I know?
Janet: She’s missing.
Wendy: I hope she’s dead. She ruined it for Paul and I.
Janet: Don’t say that Wendy!
Wendy: I don’t care. I’m so mad right now.
Janet: Her son is alone. Nobody can find her. The police are looking.
Wendy: I told you I don’t care, Janet!
Janet: You are a mean person, Wendy.
Silence
Wendy: (attempting to squeeze out tears from dry ducts) Oh I’ve been crying all night. Don’t make me cry anymore.
Janet: Don’t say mean things about Paula. She’s the nicest woman I know. Nobody knows where she is.
Wendy: Good. I never want to see her again.
Janet: Are you that mean?
Wendy: Janet. She told me that I was a recluse and that I needed to get out more. I get out fine. What does she know?
Janet: When? When do you go out?
Wendy: The point is I do. Not when or how often.
Janet: Fine. Just don’t be mean to Paula. I’m very worried about her.
Wendy: I’m sorry, Janet, but we just might not have the same friends.
Janet: I know. I know that. I hope Paula comes home. Her son is at the police station. He had to go there after Michael and I waited all night for Paula to come home.
Wendy: I don’t care right now, Janet. I only care about seeing Paul.
Janet: Doesn’t sound very hard. Go over to his house.
Wendy: But mother. . .
Janet: Is she holding you down?
Wendy: No, but she would be disappointed.
Janet: My mother once said sometimes children make their parents mad, but in the end, the children are okay. Sometimes you have to make your mommy mad. That’s what my mommy says.
Wendy: I see. Hmmmm.
Janet: Don’t worry. Everything will get better.
Mildred enters Wendy’s room.
Wendy: Don’t you knock?
Mildred: Tomato soup and grilled cheese at the kitchen table. I think you should eat something.
Wendy: I think I’m going to cry more.
(simultaneously)
Mildred: Suit yourself. Starve. Who are you talking to?
Janet: Go eat, Wendy.
Wendy: It’s just Janet. My friend. Don’t worry. It’s not him.
Mildred: I’m not worried. I know you’ll make the right decision. You’re a big girl.
Mildred exits.
Wendy: She’s gone.
Janet: Your mom said that you’ll make the right decision.
Wendy: She means the one that she has made for me. To live in this house an old spinster.
Janet: No, she wants you to make your own choices. What’s a spinster? Is that somebody who puts records on and spins them around?
Wendy: No. It’s a pathetic, old woman alone.
Janet: I see. That doesn’t sound very fun.
Wendy: What does Paula know! She’s not even married. How can she tell people how to behave?
Janet: That’s her job. People do that all the time.
Wendy: I don’t buy it. Janet. I just don’t!
(simultaneously)
Janet: Stop yelling!
Mildred: (off) Stop yelling, Wendy!
Wendy: (quieter) Maybe you are right.
Janet: I think I am.
Wendy: Of course you do. You have made me feel better.
Janet: Good. That’s what friends are for.
Wendy: So how are your wedding plans coming?
Janet: Good. Well. We haven’t made any plans yet. (pause) Am I still going to wear a dress in your wedding?
Wendy: We’ll see.
There is a knock on Janet’s door.
Janet: Wendy. I have to go. Somebody is here. It could be Paula!
Wendy: Fine. Fine. But call me soon. I’m going to be lonely locked up here.
Janet: Has someone locked your door?
Wendy: No, but. . .
Janet: Who’s stopping you from leaving?
Wendy: Nobody, but-
Janet: Wendy. Just do what you want to do.
Wendy: Fine. I will. Somehow.
Janet: Good.
Another knock.
Wendy: Okay. Bye.
Janet: I’ll call you soon. Bye.
Janet opens the door. Bill stands there.
Janet: How did you get in? Who are you?
Bill: My name is Bill Meriwether. (He flashes a badge.) I’m with the local police department. Are you Janet Windhover?
Janet: Yes. Why?
Bill: I’m here investigating the disappearance of Paula Pluckston.
Janet: Oh. Yes. Please come in.
Bill: Are you okay?
Janet: I’m fine. Why?
Bill: You look very tired.
Janet: I am tired.
Bill: I am tired myself. I haven’t been to bed much last night.
Janet: Why?
Bill: I have been going over the evidence that I have collected so far. You are the first person that I am talking to about this.
Janet: Oh. Did you find Paula? Is she okay?
Bill: We hope so. We really do.
Janet: I hope so too. I’m so worried. Paula is my bestest friend.
Bill: I understand that. Would you mind answering some questions for me?
Janet: Sure.
Bill: According to phone records of this apartment, you phoned Paula a few nights before she disappeared.
Janet: Yes. I was worried.
Bill: Okay. Why?
Janet: I called her early in the morning because my boyfriend didn’t come home. I’m going to marry him. What’s that called?
Bill: What’s what called?
Janet: When you are going to marry someone? What are they called?
Bill: The husband? The wedding. I don’t know what you are referring to.
Janet: He’s my financial.
Bill: I think you mean fiancée.
Janet: That’s it. My fiancée didn’t come home.
Bill: I see.
Janet: So I called Paula because she has always looked after me.
Bill: Why wouldn’t you phone your parents?
Janet: They don’t care about stuff like that. Paula’s my bestest friend.
Bill: She’s your best friend. There’s no bestest.
Janet: Oh.
Bill: Now. What happened then?
Janet: She came over to be with me. She brought her son. The stayed the night until my boyfriend came back.
Bill: Where was your boyfriend?
Janet: He was at work.
Bill: Oh.
Janet: So I was wrong. He wasn’t in trouble. He was just at work.
Bill: I see. What happened when he arrived home? Was Paula still here?
Janet: Yeah. She was.
Bill: What happened then?
Janet: We all talked. Paula yelled at him.
Bill: Wait. She yelled at your fiancée?
Janet: Yes.
Bill: Why?
Janet: Because he made us worry, but he told me that he had told me he was going to be to work and that I had forgot.
Bill: Did you forget?
Janet: I don’t think so, but I might have forgot that he told me. So I might have.
Bill: Are you of sane mind and body, Janet?
Janet: What does that mean?
Bill: Do you have any medical conditions or?
Janet: I don’t think so.
Bill: I see.
Janet: But-
Bill: Yes?
Janet: I have down syndrome.
Bill: You do?
Janet: Yes.
Bill: I see. (writes, pause) That day what happened next?
Janet: Paula left with her son. Said she had to go to work.
Bill: Uh huh.
Janet: Do you know where she might be? I miss her so. I really do, Mr. Bill. I miss her.
Bill: I understand. Her son misses her too. He’s at the precinct. Do you know of any relatives that Ms. Pluckston has? That we might contact? There seems to be no one we can contact about her son.
Janet: You can contact me.
Bill: And I have contacted you. She had many notes about you in her office and since she was here like I suspected the morning of her disappearance, I am very glad that you spoke with me today.
Janet: Do you know anything?
Bill: Not really. Not really that I can disclose at this time.
Janet: Oh I’m so worried. (Janet begins to cry. Bill stares after her.) Paula is the only person –well- besides my boyfriend that I think I love.
Bill: You don’t love your family?
Janet: I do. But not as much.
Bill: I see.
Janet: You don’t know where she went?
Bill: She had an appointment yesterday with a couple at her office and then I can’t visibly find a trace of her. Her car is still at the Beverly Judith Berry House where she worked. But it is empty and any identification belonging to her is missing.
Janet: Is that good or bad?
Bill: Not anything yet. Do you know any reason why Paula would want to run away?
Janet: No.
Bill: Would Paula ever abandon her work?
Janet: Never. Duty was her saying. She told me that once.
Bill: Good to know. Did anybody hate Paula?
Janet: Hate her?
Bill: Maybe that’s too harsh of words. . .did anybody not really like her that you knew of?
Janet: No. Everybody liked-
Bill: Think.
Janet: Wait.
Bill: Yes?
Janet: I just talked to my friend. I don’t think she liked Paula.
Bill: Who is your friend?
Janet: Her name is Wendy Pierce. She hates people.
Bill: Really?
Janet: Why do you want to know this?
Bill: Janet. When somebody doesn’t like someone, they may want to harm them. You know what harm is?
Janet: Like slap them? Yes. I know what that is.
Bill: Good. Somebody may have wanted to harm or hurt Paula. Do you think that Wendy would do that?
Janet: I don’t think so. She doesn’t like to get near people.
Bill: I see. Well, I shouldn’t tell you this, but Wendy is the last recorded person to have seen Paula yesterday. I think this is suspicious. I do need to speak with her.
Janet: Oh. You don’t think-
Bill: We don’t make conclusions about anything until we have evidence of something, Janet. Don’t worry about that. Right now I just need to talk to her. Do you know where I can find her?
Janet: Yes. She lives with her mother. On Pine Lane.
Bill: I know exactly where that is. (writes, pause) Do you know why Wendy hated her?
Janet: I don’t think she hated her. I think she didn’t like her. She said Paula said mean things. But I think Paula said right things.
Bill: What did Paula say to Wendy? What did Wendy say that she said?
Janet: Wendy said that Paula ruined her chances with her boyfriend, Paul.
Bill: Were Paul and Paula intimate?
Janet: What’s intimate?
Bill: Were they close?
Janet: I don’t know. I don’t think so.
Bill: I see. Janet, thank you very much for your time. I don’t think that I will need anything else from you today. I will be calling you back though, I have no doubts about that. Here is my card. If you ever, EVER need anything from me or want to know anything about Paula, call this number. If you also think that you hear or see anything about Paula, I need you to call this number. Do you think that you can do that?
Janet: Yes. Yes of course.
Bill: I have to speak with some other people now. But let me know if you think anybody else would hurt Paula. Can you do that?
Janet: Yes. I think. I know how to use a phone.
Bill: Good.
Janet: Do you want anything to eat or drink, Mr. Bill?
Bill: Oh, I’m okay. Thank you.
Janet: Paula taught me that I’m always supposed to ask people if they are hungry when they come to my house and offer them something.
Bill: That’s very good of her. (He begins to leave.)
Janet: Mr. Bill-
Bill: Yes?
Janet: Do you think that you will find her?
Bill: I hope so. Is your boyfriend here?
Janet: No. I don’t think so.
Bill: Does he live here?
Janet: (Silence.)
Bill: I may want to speak to him.
Janet: I understand.
Bill: I will try back later. Thanks again.
Bill exits. Janet sits down and Michael comes out of the closet. He comes up behind Janet.
Michael: How are you doing?
Janet: UH! You scared me.
Michael: I’m sorry.
Janet: Did you hear the Mr. Bill man from the police station?
Michael: Yes. Yes I did.
Janet: Why didn’t you come out?
Michael: I was taking a nap. I had to work. Janet?
Janet: What?
Michael: Don’t tell him about me at all. Will you?
Janet: Why?
Michael: I am scared of him.
Janet: Why?
Michael: Police scare me sometimes. They are not always honest. They are like Pinocchio.
Janet: Then I like them. He’s trying to find Paula. Maybe his nose will be so big, he’ll find her!
Michael: No. (pause) They haven’t found her yet?
Janet: No.
Michael: I think of the giant whale in the story, Janet. I don’t think of Pinocchio when I think of police. I think of a giant whale that swallows you whole and will not let you breathe or see. I think of being inside a whale my whole life and I get scared.
Janet: Don’t be scared. They are trying to do good.
Michael: I try.
Janet: Are we going to get married?
Michael: Yes. Of course. Why do you ask?
Janet: Why don’t we act like it?
Michael: We do. I- I- I-(quickly) love you.
Janet: We should plan our wedding soon. We should.
Michael: We will. Maybe Paula would like to help. We can start just as soon as she turns up.
Janet: I hope she turns up soon.
Michael: Me too.
Wednesday, June 6, 2007
37: Top Secret Shit
Carol’s farm house. It is late evening. She sits in the foreground watching TV in her cluttered abode. Bob enters the screen door with a large carpet bag and he drags it.
Carol: Dang Nabbit. Who’s here?
Bob: Me.
Carol: Me who?
Bob: I’m just putting something in the closet.
Carol: Could you get me my footbath? Beau went to bed.
Bob: (Silence)
Carol: Bob?
Bob: (Silence)
Carol: Bob!?
Bob: What?
Carol: Did ya hear me?
Bob: Yes. This bag is heavy.
Carol: What are you bringing in here anyway?
Bob: Something a friend wants me to look after.
Carol: Look after? Look after what?
Bob: I don’t know. I don’t know what’s in it.
Carol: How can you look after something if you don’t know what your looking after?
Bob: I just am. I’m supposed to watch the bag.
Carol: Where you gonna put it?
Bob: I don’t know. Front closet.
Carol: Fine. Then get my footbath.
Bob opens the front closet. A mound of stuff falls out.
Carol: What was that?
Bob: The closet.
Carol: The closet made that noise?
Bob: No. I did. I made that noise.
Carol: Why?
Bob: Because the closet is full of shit. That’s why.
Carol: Well, god-bless-it Bob! (She gets up.)It’s not shit. It’s family things. Do I have to do everything around here?
Bob: No.
Carol: Let’s take a peeksee and see what’s in here.
Bob: No, I’m not supposed to.
Carol: Why not?
Bob: He told me not too.
Carol: He who?
Bob: My friend.
Carol: Who is he?
Bob: I didn’t say it was a he.
Carol: You did too, bless-it-all. You said he told me not to.
Bob: So? Doesn’t mean I mean a he.
Carol: Fine. Let’s get this cleaned up. I have to work in the morning.
Bob: Fine.
They clean.
Carol: Awww. My bunions ache. You have to go get my footbath now. I said now.
He exits. Carol looks over the bag and at one point begins to unzip it.
Carol: Say, Bob. I don’t know if I want this in here. What is it anyhow?
Bob: (off) I told ya. I don’t know.
Carol: Why don’t you know?
Bob: They didn’t tell me.
Carol: Why?
Bob: (off) They said it was top secret.
Carol: I see.
Bob: (off) I want to help my friend. Let’s keep it top secret.
Carol: That’s the most intelligent thing you’ve said, I think.
Bob: (off) Well, thank you, ma’m. I just wanna respect- (He enters.) Hey, whattya doin?
Carol: Why, nothing.
Bob: Don’t look like nothing.
Carol: Can you blame me?
Bob: No, but you have to respect this.
Carol: It’s my house, Bob.
Bob: You said that me, Tyler, and my brother Beau could live here.
Carol: That I did.
Bob: And we will. If you don’t look in there.
Carol: Are you blackmailing me?
Bob: No. But I will let you look in there on one condition.
Carol: What’s that?
Bob: You bring Janet here tomorrow.
Carol: I can’t do anything of the kind. I can’t promise you her.
Bob: I’m not asking you to promise me her. I’m asking her to come over. I think she’s pretty.
Carol: A lot of boys think she’s pretty. But she’s dumb and- and- and- NO! Just no. Gimme this and get out to your bunk.
Bob: First I gotta put this bag in here.
Carol: Fine.
Carol takes the footbath to her chair and sets it down grimacing.
Bob: (after putting the bag in the closet) Now I meant what I said, Carol.
Carol: Uh, huh. Got it.
Bob: Are you listening to me?
Carol: I heard you. I can’t look in the bag. Get out of my house.
Bob: I just want to make sure.
Carol: Watching my program. I can’t hear you sweetie. (She turns the volume of some game show up really loudly.)
Bob exits. Carol looks after the slamming door. Silence and only the flicker of the TV. After awhile, Carol gets up and turns off some lights. Only her chair is illuminated by the set. She comes back after awhile with some popcorn. She creeps over to the closet. She opens the door. Bob is there with a flashlight in her face. Carol screams.
Bob: What did I say to you?
Carol: Robert, you scared me half to death!
Bob: I know. I snuck back in here when I saw the lights go out.
Carol: Look at all this popcorn.
Bob: Carol, do you want to die?
Carol: Are you threatening me, Robert?
Bob: No. But the person who gave me the bag threatened me. They said if anybody looked in the bag, they would die.
Carol: Oh yeah?
Bob: Yeah.
Carol: I don’t think I would die.
Bob: I do. Now go sit down before I make you.
Carol: I should kick you out of here right now. Make me die? You talk about respect, young man and you threaten me and- and-
Bob: Who would do your farm work?
Carol: (Silence.)
Bob: None would do this for so little-
Carol: Fine. Fine. Just go to bed. I promise I won’t look in there tonight.
Bob: I’ll let you look if you bring Janet tomorrow.
Carol: But won’t I die?
Bob: No. I wouldn’t let them hurt you.
Carol: I don’t even want that bag here now.
Bob: Where’s it gonna go now? I’m not luggin’ that shit anywhere at this hour.
Carol: I want it out by tomorrow night! This is my house and I don’t want unidentified objects here.
Bob: Okay. I can get rid of it in the morning.
Carol: You better. I mean it.
Bob: If you bring Janet here.
The screen door slams with his exit.
Bob: (off) Oh and close the closet door. I forgot.
The closet door is slammed closed.
Carol: There. You happy now? Oh. I’m cleaning up this popcorn in the morning.
Carol: Dang Nabbit. Who’s here?
Bob: Me.
Carol: Me who?
Bob: I’m just putting something in the closet.
Carol: Could you get me my footbath? Beau went to bed.
Bob: (Silence)
Carol: Bob?
Bob: (Silence)
Carol: Bob!?
Bob: What?
Carol: Did ya hear me?
Bob: Yes. This bag is heavy.
Carol: What are you bringing in here anyway?
Bob: Something a friend wants me to look after.
Carol: Look after? Look after what?
Bob: I don’t know. I don’t know what’s in it.
Carol: How can you look after something if you don’t know what your looking after?
Bob: I just am. I’m supposed to watch the bag.
Carol: Where you gonna put it?
Bob: I don’t know. Front closet.
Carol: Fine. Then get my footbath.
Bob opens the front closet. A mound of stuff falls out.
Carol: What was that?
Bob: The closet.
Carol: The closet made that noise?
Bob: No. I did. I made that noise.
Carol: Why?
Bob: Because the closet is full of shit. That’s why.
Carol: Well, god-bless-it Bob! (She gets up.)It’s not shit. It’s family things. Do I have to do everything around here?
Bob: No.
Carol: Let’s take a peeksee and see what’s in here.
Bob: No, I’m not supposed to.
Carol: Why not?
Bob: He told me not too.
Carol: He who?
Bob: My friend.
Carol: Who is he?
Bob: I didn’t say it was a he.
Carol: You did too, bless-it-all. You said he told me not to.
Bob: So? Doesn’t mean I mean a he.
Carol: Fine. Let’s get this cleaned up. I have to work in the morning.
Bob: Fine.
They clean.
Carol: Awww. My bunions ache. You have to go get my footbath now. I said now.
He exits. Carol looks over the bag and at one point begins to unzip it.
Carol: Say, Bob. I don’t know if I want this in here. What is it anyhow?
Bob: (off) I told ya. I don’t know.
Carol: Why don’t you know?
Bob: They didn’t tell me.
Carol: Why?
Bob: (off) They said it was top secret.
Carol: I see.
Bob: (off) I want to help my friend. Let’s keep it top secret.
Carol: That’s the most intelligent thing you’ve said, I think.
Bob: (off) Well, thank you, ma’m. I just wanna respect- (He enters.) Hey, whattya doin?
Carol: Why, nothing.
Bob: Don’t look like nothing.
Carol: Can you blame me?
Bob: No, but you have to respect this.
Carol: It’s my house, Bob.
Bob: You said that me, Tyler, and my brother Beau could live here.
Carol: That I did.
Bob: And we will. If you don’t look in there.
Carol: Are you blackmailing me?
Bob: No. But I will let you look in there on one condition.
Carol: What’s that?
Bob: You bring Janet here tomorrow.
Carol: I can’t do anything of the kind. I can’t promise you her.
Bob: I’m not asking you to promise me her. I’m asking her to come over. I think she’s pretty.
Carol: A lot of boys think she’s pretty. But she’s dumb and- and- and- NO! Just no. Gimme this and get out to your bunk.
Bob: First I gotta put this bag in here.
Carol: Fine.
Carol takes the footbath to her chair and sets it down grimacing.
Bob: (after putting the bag in the closet) Now I meant what I said, Carol.
Carol: Uh, huh. Got it.
Bob: Are you listening to me?
Carol: I heard you. I can’t look in the bag. Get out of my house.
Bob: I just want to make sure.
Carol: Watching my program. I can’t hear you sweetie. (She turns the volume of some game show up really loudly.)
Bob exits. Carol looks after the slamming door. Silence and only the flicker of the TV. After awhile, Carol gets up and turns off some lights. Only her chair is illuminated by the set. She comes back after awhile with some popcorn. She creeps over to the closet. She opens the door. Bob is there with a flashlight in her face. Carol screams.
Bob: What did I say to you?
Carol: Robert, you scared me half to death!
Bob: I know. I snuck back in here when I saw the lights go out.
Carol: Look at all this popcorn.
Bob: Carol, do you want to die?
Carol: Are you threatening me, Robert?
Bob: No. But the person who gave me the bag threatened me. They said if anybody looked in the bag, they would die.
Carol: Oh yeah?
Bob: Yeah.
Carol: I don’t think I would die.
Bob: I do. Now go sit down before I make you.
Carol: I should kick you out of here right now. Make me die? You talk about respect, young man and you threaten me and- and-
Bob: Who would do your farm work?
Carol: (Silence.)
Bob: None would do this for so little-
Carol: Fine. Fine. Just go to bed. I promise I won’t look in there tonight.
Bob: I’ll let you look if you bring Janet tomorrow.
Carol: But won’t I die?
Bob: No. I wouldn’t let them hurt you.
Carol: I don’t even want that bag here now.
Bob: Where’s it gonna go now? I’m not luggin’ that shit anywhere at this hour.
Carol: I want it out by tomorrow night! This is my house and I don’t want unidentified objects here.
Bob: Okay. I can get rid of it in the morning.
Carol: You better. I mean it.
Bob: If you bring Janet here.
The screen door slams with his exit.
Bob: (off) Oh and close the closet door. I forgot.
The closet door is slammed closed.
Carol: There. You happy now? Oh. I’m cleaning up this popcorn in the morning.
Tuesday, June 5, 2007
36: The Strangest Family Dinner Ever
The Andreas Kitchen. Clara makes a beef stew. Kitty sits on the floor playing with marbles. Judy comes in sweaty from working out.
Judy: Is that beef I smell?
Clara: Yes. Now go unsmell yourself. Dinner will be ready soon.
Judy: I know. Oh, Clara, did I mention that Alfie is having people over from work this evening for a business meeting?
Clara: You didn’t say anything about that. I don’t have enough plates, Senora.
Judy: Don’t worry about it. I’ll take care of everything. It’s just one man from the company, some Bill something or other. I just won’t eat.
Clara: Fine. Because I do want to eat.
Kitty: I don’t. I hate beef stew. Yuck.
Judy: Kitty. Be nice. I won’t tell you again to be nice to the hired help.
Clara feigns a smile.
Judy: But Clara, I’ll make sure there is enough if you go and get the laundry off the line for me. I really need to get this shower in and I just don’t think there will be enough time.
Clara: Ms. Judy, I don’t see how this is going to-
Judy: (rage) Just do what I ask for God’s love, please.
Clara: Yes, Senora.
Judy: Now. Por favor.
Clara: Yes. Yes. Right away.
Clara bows out and Judy goes to work at the counter. She takes out the familiar bag with the bottle and puts some of the stuff into the beef stew pot. She then takes several cans of water to thicken the broth, just when Clara enters.
Clara: Oh mios dio! What did you do? Che haces?
Judy: (pouring the water) I just thickened the broth. Get over it.
Clara: You’ll dilute the flavor.
Judy: Exactly.
Clara: That’s not how it’s supposed to be.
Judy: Yes it is when I had it last. I remember it was too strong. Too beef boullin-y.
Clara: But you aren’t eating any!
Judy: But Bill is. And I hear he’s a beefy man. He will want a lot.
Clara: Probably his flavor intact too.
Judy: Maybe.
Kitty: Bill has no flavor. He’s all business.
Judy: Where did you hear that?
Kitty: Daddy.
Judy: Yes. Yes. I have to take a shower, now don’t bother mommy for the rest of the night.
Clara looks back disapprovingly as Judy exits. A few moments later, Alfred enters with Bill Meriwether and his secretary Cindy. Kitty runs to the door to greet them.
Kitty: Daddy! Daddy!
Alfred: (lifts her feebly) How’s my little-
Bill: Whoa, there.
Alfred: I’m alright. I’m fine. How’s my dear?
Kitty: Good. Could you put me down? You’re hurting me.
Alfred: Of course dear.
Kitty: Who’s the pretty lady?
Cindy: Oh aren’t you cute? I’m Cindy. I’m your Daddy’s secretary.
Kitty: Mommy says Daddy doesn’t have secretarys.
Cindy: (fake laugh) Oh really.
Kitty: Yeah. She says-
Alfred: That’s enough. Enough of that. I’m sure you both are hungry.
Cindy: Sorta.
Bill: Very.
Alfred: Clara, something smells very good. What is it?
Clara: I made your favorite. Beef Stew.
Alfred: It smells delicious.
Bill: It really does, Clara.
Cindy: Yummy. I’m sure.
Clara: Let’s hope. You can all have a seat at the table, if you wish and then I will bring the stew over.
Alfred: Where’s Judy?
Clara: Ms. Judy is in the shower.
Alfred: I see.
Clara: She didn’t know there would be more than two of you.
Alfred: That’s fine.
Clara: Oh, I know it’s fine. She just didn’t know.
Alfred: Okay. Good. You can all have a seat. Anything to drink, gentlemen? And that does include you, Cindy.
Cindy: Oh anything is fine.
Kitty: Does it include me?
Alfred: No, it doesn’t, Kitty pie. Would you mind playing in your room until dinner is served?
Kitty: Okay. Wait. Here’s a marble for you, pretty lady.
Cindy: Oh, thank you.
Alfred: Her name is Cindy, Kitty. Cindy.
Kitty: Hi, Cindy-Kitty-Cindy. My name is just Kitty.
Alfred: Okay. That’s enough. Let’s get down to business.
Throughout Clara brings dishes over the table and begins to serve the beef stew.
Bill: Alfred, are you sure he’s the right man?
Alfred: Bill, I tell you he is. He’s just about the most right man there is.
Bill: But he has been carrying on shadily. I have dealings with. . .
Judy enters drying her hair. She stops abruptly staring at the dinner table. The three have bowls of beef stew and are all business. Papers are laid out. Pens mixed with silverware. Clara takes her place at the other end of the table.
Alfred: I don’t want to hear about him. What we need to figure out is how to make him a successor.
Bill: A successor to what?
Alfred: You know.
Judy: Yes, Alfie, of what?
Alfred: I won’t tell you again to stay out of this, Judy, honey. Please go back to the bedroom.
Judy: I see.
Alfred: Okay. Now, I understand-
Judy: But Clara. . . has made me this bowl of beef stew which I am going to eat. Because I live in this house.
She sits unsteadily. She shoves Clara out of the seat.
Alfred: Take it in the other room.
Clara: Excuse me, Ms. Judy, but Senora, I have prepared this meal and you said that you would not have any for your error in not telling me that there were three people coming to this dinner. Do you not see three people, three, two men, one lady? They are having a meeting.
Silence
Judy: Yes, I see three people, Clara. Good day.
Clara begins to exit.
Judy: I would really hate it if my husband were to interrupt me at this point, but I would just like to tell you Clara that one day, you will THANK me for this. One day you will thank me for this. For some, hardships prove to be successes and others hardships prove to become failures. But I am married to this man and come hell or high water, I will share this house with him. Even if it brings us to the end of our days and in the process makes us feel like crap. Isn’t that what we said, Alfie? Til death do us part.
Long Silence
Judy: Eat up. The lovely stew that Clara made, i.e. that your stew before you is getting cold.
Clara exits. They all grab nervously for their forks and spoons and eat rapidly.
Judy: As you were saying.
Bill: Well, might you name the successor now?
Alfred: I’d rather not. It’s not the right time.
Judy: What’s not the right time?
Alfred: To name the successor to the company of candy that I own dear. That’s enough please. We must talk without you here. You can listen, but please stay silent.
Judy: As you wish. (She slurps her stew)
Cindy: (to Alfred) I wouldn’t come home either. No, I wouldn’t Freddie.
Judy: Listen, you bitch. This is my house. Not yours. Not yours. Do you even know who lived here before you? Before me even.
Bill: Has she been drinking?
Judy: Because I could tell you. She is fucking dead now. Killed herself right before he married me. And now I’ve obviously gone insane. . .because here is my husband with his conniving friends one probably his lover and he is telling me that I won’t get a stitch of this money because he’s going to name a successor. Lovely. So let me tell you, bitch, that it won’t be you, but it’ll be a younger more attractive version of you, because let me tell you something, they are as dispensable as dimes and you are nothing but a penny candy.
And another thing. You can do this under my roof, but you can’t live with the consequences.
Judy exits. Alfred looks rather embarrassed.
Alfred: I’m sorry about that.
Cindy: Does she drink?
Alfred: Clara? Clara?
Bill: Do you have a bell?
Clara enters.
Clara: Yes?
Alfred: The beef stew is there. It hasn’t gotten cold. Please don’t let it go to waste. She didn’t finish it and it is so good. Let’s not let it go to waste.
Clara: Ugh, anything she has a hand in doesn’t taste good. She makes everything badly.
Alfred: I thought it was you who was adding some licorice to everything that we eat.
Clara: I’m not adding licorice to anything. That is her doing. I don’t know how she does it but she adds some special spice or something that she likes to all the meals. She doesn’t ask, she just does.
Bill: But I barely taste the licorice though.
Alfred: Yes, I’ve gotten so used to it, I don’t notice it in my system.
They all laugh.
Cindy: Oh, Freddie, I could get you the best meals ever if you came to live with me.
Alfred: A mansion for an apartment. Cindy, let’s start talking realities. You can move in here.
Cindy: Are you for real? Are you fucking for real, Freddie?
Judy enters.
Judy: What now? What’s going on?
Alfred: We’re going to be having a house guest. Her name is Cindy.
Cindy waves. Bill looks into his hand.
Kitty: (entering) Yeah, pretty lady is going to stay with us.
Judy: Good, because I am going out with our neighbor, Charles.
Alfred: Good.
Clara laughs and Cindy smiles. Bill looks bewildered. Judy stands there flustered putting her coat on. A cell phone goes off.
Cindy: It’s me?
Alfred: I hope it’s that Paula woman calling me back.
Bill: Paula, woman?
Alfred: This Paula woman wanted to get in touch with me. She said it was life or death. I didn’t know her at all. It was pretty weird.
Judy: Probably a secretary.
Alfred: No.
Bill: (realizing it’s his phone) Excuse me. Hello? Oh. I see. I see. Uh huh. No. No. Now is a good time. I’ll be right over. See you soon.
Everyone waits.
Bill: This is pretty fucking weird, but a Paula Pluckston is missing and the force wants me to take on the case. Is this Paula that you were having a life or death matter with happen to be a case worker at the Beverly Judith Berry House?
Alfred: Perhaps.
Bill: She could be dead. Anyway I gotta go. Probably shouldn’t be here in matters of your business anyway.
Alfred: Bill-
Judy: Bill, I’ll escort you out so the family can be alone.
Bill: Thank you. I’m sorry everyone. I’m sorry, Judy.
Judy: Can it, Bill. I know you’re still his friend.
They exit.
Kitty: Is pretty lady staying with us for good?
Alfred: I don’t know about for good.
Cindy: I don’t know about at all, Freddie. This is weird. I didn’t like this.
Alfred: Don’t let her scare you. She’s a lot of talk.
Cindy: Oh, okay. Gee, I feel kinda nauseous.
Clara: Nauseated. You feel nauseated. If you were nauseous you would be the puke or something like that.
Alfred: I don’t feel well either.
Kitty at the window.
Kitty: Mr. Bill is throwing up on the driveway. Judy mommy jumped out of the way. Come look Cindy-Kitty-Cindy.
Cindy: That’s okay. I can look at my own vomit.
Cindy throws up.
Alfred: When is this going to end?
Clara: When this place burns to the ground, Mr. Alfred. That’s when. And I mean your whole company, but uh, until then, this is life.
Alfred: I’m too old to live like this any longer.
Clara: Then you die.
Alfred: I feel like I will soon.
Judy: Is that beef I smell?
Clara: Yes. Now go unsmell yourself. Dinner will be ready soon.
Judy: I know. Oh, Clara, did I mention that Alfie is having people over from work this evening for a business meeting?
Clara: You didn’t say anything about that. I don’t have enough plates, Senora.
Judy: Don’t worry about it. I’ll take care of everything. It’s just one man from the company, some Bill something or other. I just won’t eat.
Clara: Fine. Because I do want to eat.
Kitty: I don’t. I hate beef stew. Yuck.
Judy: Kitty. Be nice. I won’t tell you again to be nice to the hired help.
Clara feigns a smile.
Judy: But Clara, I’ll make sure there is enough if you go and get the laundry off the line for me. I really need to get this shower in and I just don’t think there will be enough time.
Clara: Ms. Judy, I don’t see how this is going to-
Judy: (rage) Just do what I ask for God’s love, please.
Clara: Yes, Senora.
Judy: Now. Por favor.
Clara: Yes. Yes. Right away.
Clara bows out and Judy goes to work at the counter. She takes out the familiar bag with the bottle and puts some of the stuff into the beef stew pot. She then takes several cans of water to thicken the broth, just when Clara enters.
Clara: Oh mios dio! What did you do? Che haces?
Judy: (pouring the water) I just thickened the broth. Get over it.
Clara: You’ll dilute the flavor.
Judy: Exactly.
Clara: That’s not how it’s supposed to be.
Judy: Yes it is when I had it last. I remember it was too strong. Too beef boullin-y.
Clara: But you aren’t eating any!
Judy: But Bill is. And I hear he’s a beefy man. He will want a lot.
Clara: Probably his flavor intact too.
Judy: Maybe.
Kitty: Bill has no flavor. He’s all business.
Judy: Where did you hear that?
Kitty: Daddy.
Judy: Yes. Yes. I have to take a shower, now don’t bother mommy for the rest of the night.
Clara looks back disapprovingly as Judy exits. A few moments later, Alfred enters with Bill Meriwether and his secretary Cindy. Kitty runs to the door to greet them.
Kitty: Daddy! Daddy!
Alfred: (lifts her feebly) How’s my little-
Bill: Whoa, there.
Alfred: I’m alright. I’m fine. How’s my dear?
Kitty: Good. Could you put me down? You’re hurting me.
Alfred: Of course dear.
Kitty: Who’s the pretty lady?
Cindy: Oh aren’t you cute? I’m Cindy. I’m your Daddy’s secretary.
Kitty: Mommy says Daddy doesn’t have secretarys.
Cindy: (fake laugh) Oh really.
Kitty: Yeah. She says-
Alfred: That’s enough. Enough of that. I’m sure you both are hungry.
Cindy: Sorta.
Bill: Very.
Alfred: Clara, something smells very good. What is it?
Clara: I made your favorite. Beef Stew.
Alfred: It smells delicious.
Bill: It really does, Clara.
Cindy: Yummy. I’m sure.
Clara: Let’s hope. You can all have a seat at the table, if you wish and then I will bring the stew over.
Alfred: Where’s Judy?
Clara: Ms. Judy is in the shower.
Alfred: I see.
Clara: She didn’t know there would be more than two of you.
Alfred: That’s fine.
Clara: Oh, I know it’s fine. She just didn’t know.
Alfred: Okay. Good. You can all have a seat. Anything to drink, gentlemen? And that does include you, Cindy.
Cindy: Oh anything is fine.
Kitty: Does it include me?
Alfred: No, it doesn’t, Kitty pie. Would you mind playing in your room until dinner is served?
Kitty: Okay. Wait. Here’s a marble for you, pretty lady.
Cindy: Oh, thank you.
Alfred: Her name is Cindy, Kitty. Cindy.
Kitty: Hi, Cindy-Kitty-Cindy. My name is just Kitty.
Alfred: Okay. That’s enough. Let’s get down to business.
Throughout Clara brings dishes over the table and begins to serve the beef stew.
Bill: Alfred, are you sure he’s the right man?
Alfred: Bill, I tell you he is. He’s just about the most right man there is.
Bill: But he has been carrying on shadily. I have dealings with. . .
Judy enters drying her hair. She stops abruptly staring at the dinner table. The three have bowls of beef stew and are all business. Papers are laid out. Pens mixed with silverware. Clara takes her place at the other end of the table.
Alfred: I don’t want to hear about him. What we need to figure out is how to make him a successor.
Bill: A successor to what?
Alfred: You know.
Judy: Yes, Alfie, of what?
Alfred: I won’t tell you again to stay out of this, Judy, honey. Please go back to the bedroom.
Judy: I see.
Alfred: Okay. Now, I understand-
Judy: But Clara. . . has made me this bowl of beef stew which I am going to eat. Because I live in this house.
She sits unsteadily. She shoves Clara out of the seat.
Alfred: Take it in the other room.
Clara: Excuse me, Ms. Judy, but Senora, I have prepared this meal and you said that you would not have any for your error in not telling me that there were three people coming to this dinner. Do you not see three people, three, two men, one lady? They are having a meeting.
Silence
Judy: Yes, I see three people, Clara. Good day.
Clara begins to exit.
Judy: I would really hate it if my husband were to interrupt me at this point, but I would just like to tell you Clara that one day, you will THANK me for this. One day you will thank me for this. For some, hardships prove to be successes and others hardships prove to become failures. But I am married to this man and come hell or high water, I will share this house with him. Even if it brings us to the end of our days and in the process makes us feel like crap. Isn’t that what we said, Alfie? Til death do us part.
Long Silence
Judy: Eat up. The lovely stew that Clara made, i.e. that your stew before you is getting cold.
Clara exits. They all grab nervously for their forks and spoons and eat rapidly.
Judy: As you were saying.
Bill: Well, might you name the successor now?
Alfred: I’d rather not. It’s not the right time.
Judy: What’s not the right time?
Alfred: To name the successor to the company of candy that I own dear. That’s enough please. We must talk without you here. You can listen, but please stay silent.
Judy: As you wish. (She slurps her stew)
Cindy: (to Alfred) I wouldn’t come home either. No, I wouldn’t Freddie.
Judy: Listen, you bitch. This is my house. Not yours. Not yours. Do you even know who lived here before you? Before me even.
Bill: Has she been drinking?
Judy: Because I could tell you. She is fucking dead now. Killed herself right before he married me. And now I’ve obviously gone insane. . .because here is my husband with his conniving friends one probably his lover and he is telling me that I won’t get a stitch of this money because he’s going to name a successor. Lovely. So let me tell you, bitch, that it won’t be you, but it’ll be a younger more attractive version of you, because let me tell you something, they are as dispensable as dimes and you are nothing but a penny candy.
And another thing. You can do this under my roof, but you can’t live with the consequences.
Judy exits. Alfred looks rather embarrassed.
Alfred: I’m sorry about that.
Cindy: Does she drink?
Alfred: Clara? Clara?
Bill: Do you have a bell?
Clara enters.
Clara: Yes?
Alfred: The beef stew is there. It hasn’t gotten cold. Please don’t let it go to waste. She didn’t finish it and it is so good. Let’s not let it go to waste.
Clara: Ugh, anything she has a hand in doesn’t taste good. She makes everything badly.
Alfred: I thought it was you who was adding some licorice to everything that we eat.
Clara: I’m not adding licorice to anything. That is her doing. I don’t know how she does it but she adds some special spice or something that she likes to all the meals. She doesn’t ask, she just does.
Bill: But I barely taste the licorice though.
Alfred: Yes, I’ve gotten so used to it, I don’t notice it in my system.
They all laugh.
Cindy: Oh, Freddie, I could get you the best meals ever if you came to live with me.
Alfred: A mansion for an apartment. Cindy, let’s start talking realities. You can move in here.
Cindy: Are you for real? Are you fucking for real, Freddie?
Judy enters.
Judy: What now? What’s going on?
Alfred: We’re going to be having a house guest. Her name is Cindy.
Cindy waves. Bill looks into his hand.
Kitty: (entering) Yeah, pretty lady is going to stay with us.
Judy: Good, because I am going out with our neighbor, Charles.
Alfred: Good.
Clara laughs and Cindy smiles. Bill looks bewildered. Judy stands there flustered putting her coat on. A cell phone goes off.
Cindy: It’s me?
Alfred: I hope it’s that Paula woman calling me back.
Bill: Paula, woman?
Alfred: This Paula woman wanted to get in touch with me. She said it was life or death. I didn’t know her at all. It was pretty weird.
Judy: Probably a secretary.
Alfred: No.
Bill: (realizing it’s his phone) Excuse me. Hello? Oh. I see. I see. Uh huh. No. No. Now is a good time. I’ll be right over. See you soon.
Everyone waits.
Bill: This is pretty fucking weird, but a Paula Pluckston is missing and the force wants me to take on the case. Is this Paula that you were having a life or death matter with happen to be a case worker at the Beverly Judith Berry House?
Alfred: Perhaps.
Bill: She could be dead. Anyway I gotta go. Probably shouldn’t be here in matters of your business anyway.
Alfred: Bill-
Judy: Bill, I’ll escort you out so the family can be alone.
Bill: Thank you. I’m sorry everyone. I’m sorry, Judy.
Judy: Can it, Bill. I know you’re still his friend.
They exit.
Kitty: Is pretty lady staying with us for good?
Alfred: I don’t know about for good.
Cindy: I don’t know about at all, Freddie. This is weird. I didn’t like this.
Alfred: Don’t let her scare you. She’s a lot of talk.
Cindy: Oh, okay. Gee, I feel kinda nauseous.
Clara: Nauseated. You feel nauseated. If you were nauseous you would be the puke or something like that.
Alfred: I don’t feel well either.
Kitty at the window.
Kitty: Mr. Bill is throwing up on the driveway. Judy mommy jumped out of the way. Come look Cindy-Kitty-Cindy.
Cindy: That’s okay. I can look at my own vomit.
Cindy throws up.
Alfred: When is this going to end?
Clara: When this place burns to the ground, Mr. Alfred. That’s when. And I mean your whole company, but uh, until then, this is life.
Alfred: I’m too old to live like this any longer.
Clara: Then you die.
Alfred: I feel like I will soon.
35: Tissues and Tears At the Seams
Wendy’s Bedroom. Wendy is in bed. She is under the covers. A TV with antennas plays something on it. Wendy holds a box of tissues to her breast and one hand near her nose. She sobs. The TV sings of sap. Her bedroom door opens and Paul sneaks in.
Wendy: Paul!
Paul: Wendy, I-
Wendy: Mother’ll kill you if she finds you up here.
Paul: I don’t care. Wendy, I don’t. Honestly, I’m going to marry you and the wedding is next month. We haven’t planned anything. Most of the problem is that you get so spastic everytime you think of the wedding.
Wendy: I can’t help it. At least keep your voice down.
Paul: Fine. But we need to speak. Why are you still in bed?
Wendy: I didn’t go to work today.
Paul: Wendy-
Wendy: What?
Paul: Don’t tell me.
Wendy: Tell you what?
Paul: That you quit your job.
Wendy: Fine, I won’t tell you that.
Paul: WENDY! I can’t believe you. You have got to be kidding me. Yesterday in our session with that Paula woman, you said that you would not quit. But this just proves it. It proves it full force. You are getting worse. . .your- your disorder.
Wendy: It is not a disorder!
Paul: It most certainly is. Look at you. Look at this dark room with it’s heavy curtains. You don’t even get light in here. How can you live?
Wendy: Paul, don’t talk that way to me!
Paul: How can I not? I know I said I wanted to live simply but not in some mole hole!
Wendy: Don’t call my house a mole hole!
Mildred appears at the door.
Mildred: Why, Wendy- Paul. I should have known. Stop it. Stop right now. You of all people should not be in here. Not at this moment. What is wrong with you?
Paul: What are you talking about?
Mildred: What do you mean what am I talking about? You dragging my daughter yesterday into marriage counseling with that quack woman.
Paul: She was not a quack. She said some very nice things.
Wendy: Paul, she said some very horrible things. She said I was reclusive by nature and that I had to go out more. That’s horrible!
Paul: Why is that horrible? That’s pinpointing the problem right in its fucking arse!
Wendy: I don’t have a problem, Paul. This is my life.
Mildred: Wendy’s a shy girl, Paul. She’s not a big sinner like some of those floosy girls.
Wendy: That’s right.
Paul: Mildred, I’m sorry Ms. Pierce I mean, this is not normal. Your daughter can’t even be seen by people. She should be a fucking middle eastern shiek-y woman for all I care. She doesn’t want anybody to gaze on her. Is that normal?
Wendy: I want you and Mother to gaze on me. I just don’t like others.
Paul: See! See! This is what I mean. How can the both of you consider this normal.
Mildred: I can and I will. Paul, this is my household and I am not ready to give it to you. No. Not at all. Not with you behaving like a lunatic from bedlam. Paul. Paul. You cannot come into this house without knocking on the front door and asking to be seen with my daughter, but only then with a chaperone, that is when she is here in her bed, in her night clothes.
Paul: Listen to how you talk. You talk like you are from the 18 fucking 90s.
Mildred: Don’t use words like fuck to me. Do you hear me, young man?
Paul: Wendy. I can’t listen to her anymore. When you feel ready to cut the cord-
Wendy: Cord? What cord?
Paul: I don’t know. The leash, the ambiliacal cord. . .whatever the fuck it is. . . please do and give me a call. I can’t take this any longer.
Mildred: Paul. You walk out of this house, you’re making a big mistake, young man.
Paul: Oh yeah?
Mildred: Don’t ever plan to set foot in it as long as I’m alive.
Wendy: Mother. Paul!
Paul: You heard me Wendy. So get it straight. You have more chances than this. Come with me. We can see that Paula woman again. She’ll make everything work for us.
Wendy: If that Paula woman were the last woman on earth, I wouldn’t even go to see her again. I hate her. I wouldn’t even go to the funeral even if she IS Janet’s friend.
Paul: Well, Good-bye, Wendy.
Wendy: Paul, wait.
Mildred: Don’t ask him to wait. He’s garbage, Wendy. Garbage.
Paul: I can’t wait forever for you to come out of your shell. Good-bye, darling.
Mildred: Don’t kiss her. Aww. Filthy Lips.
Paul kisses her forehead, tears stream down Wendy’s face.
Paul: The door isn’t closed, Wendy. You can still make the right decision. I’ll wait.
Wendy: Paul, please don’t do this. Please. PLEASE!
Paul: Good night.
He exits.
Mildred: I told you he was worthless. Worthless.
Wendy: I know. But I love him. I LOVE HIM.
Mildred: I don’t see why.
Wendy: Leave me with my soaps. Get outta here, Mother. Just get out. Now.
Mildred: Very well. (Mildred exits with one last look back at her daughter with the tissues.)
Wendy: Paul!
Paul: Wendy, I-
Wendy: Mother’ll kill you if she finds you up here.
Paul: I don’t care. Wendy, I don’t. Honestly, I’m going to marry you and the wedding is next month. We haven’t planned anything. Most of the problem is that you get so spastic everytime you think of the wedding.
Wendy: I can’t help it. At least keep your voice down.
Paul: Fine. But we need to speak. Why are you still in bed?
Wendy: I didn’t go to work today.
Paul: Wendy-
Wendy: What?
Paul: Don’t tell me.
Wendy: Tell you what?
Paul: That you quit your job.
Wendy: Fine, I won’t tell you that.
Paul: WENDY! I can’t believe you. You have got to be kidding me. Yesterday in our session with that Paula woman, you said that you would not quit. But this just proves it. It proves it full force. You are getting worse. . .your- your disorder.
Wendy: It is not a disorder!
Paul: It most certainly is. Look at you. Look at this dark room with it’s heavy curtains. You don’t even get light in here. How can you live?
Wendy: Paul, don’t talk that way to me!
Paul: How can I not? I know I said I wanted to live simply but not in some mole hole!
Wendy: Don’t call my house a mole hole!
Mildred appears at the door.
Mildred: Why, Wendy- Paul. I should have known. Stop it. Stop right now. You of all people should not be in here. Not at this moment. What is wrong with you?
Paul: What are you talking about?
Mildred: What do you mean what am I talking about? You dragging my daughter yesterday into marriage counseling with that quack woman.
Paul: She was not a quack. She said some very nice things.
Wendy: Paul, she said some very horrible things. She said I was reclusive by nature and that I had to go out more. That’s horrible!
Paul: Why is that horrible? That’s pinpointing the problem right in its fucking arse!
Wendy: I don’t have a problem, Paul. This is my life.
Mildred: Wendy’s a shy girl, Paul. She’s not a big sinner like some of those floosy girls.
Wendy: That’s right.
Paul: Mildred, I’m sorry Ms. Pierce I mean, this is not normal. Your daughter can’t even be seen by people. She should be a fucking middle eastern shiek-y woman for all I care. She doesn’t want anybody to gaze on her. Is that normal?
Wendy: I want you and Mother to gaze on me. I just don’t like others.
Paul: See! See! This is what I mean. How can the both of you consider this normal.
Mildred: I can and I will. Paul, this is my household and I am not ready to give it to you. No. Not at all. Not with you behaving like a lunatic from bedlam. Paul. Paul. You cannot come into this house without knocking on the front door and asking to be seen with my daughter, but only then with a chaperone, that is when she is here in her bed, in her night clothes.
Paul: Listen to how you talk. You talk like you are from the 18 fucking 90s.
Mildred: Don’t use words like fuck to me. Do you hear me, young man?
Paul: Wendy. I can’t listen to her anymore. When you feel ready to cut the cord-
Wendy: Cord? What cord?
Paul: I don’t know. The leash, the ambiliacal cord. . .whatever the fuck it is. . . please do and give me a call. I can’t take this any longer.
Mildred: Paul. You walk out of this house, you’re making a big mistake, young man.
Paul: Oh yeah?
Mildred: Don’t ever plan to set foot in it as long as I’m alive.
Wendy: Mother. Paul!
Paul: You heard me Wendy. So get it straight. You have more chances than this. Come with me. We can see that Paula woman again. She’ll make everything work for us.
Wendy: If that Paula woman were the last woman on earth, I wouldn’t even go to see her again. I hate her. I wouldn’t even go to the funeral even if she IS Janet’s friend.
Paul: Well, Good-bye, Wendy.
Wendy: Paul, wait.
Mildred: Don’t ask him to wait. He’s garbage, Wendy. Garbage.
Paul: I can’t wait forever for you to come out of your shell. Good-bye, darling.
Mildred: Don’t kiss her. Aww. Filthy Lips.
Paul kisses her forehead, tears stream down Wendy’s face.
Paul: The door isn’t closed, Wendy. You can still make the right decision. I’ll wait.
Wendy: Paul, please don’t do this. Please. PLEASE!
Paul: Good night.
He exits.
Mildred: I told you he was worthless. Worthless.
Wendy: I know. But I love him. I LOVE HIM.
Mildred: I don’t see why.
Wendy: Leave me with my soaps. Get outta here, Mother. Just get out. Now.
Mildred: Very well. (Mildred exits with one last look back at her daughter with the tissues.)
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