24: Pinocchio(s) Know(s)

Janet’s empty apartment. Janet enters. She comes in and sits on the couch exhausted. She turns on Pinocchio again. The movie plays for awhile and Michael comes in behind her with some bags. Janet screams.

Michael: It’s just me!

Janet: You scared me.

Michael: Why?

Janet: How did you get in here?

Michael: Oh. Since I’m living here, I made myself some keys. Is that okay?

Janet: I guess so. Want to watch the movie with me?

Michael: No. I’ve seen that movie so many times.

Janet: Me too. I love this movie.

Michael: I know.

Janet: Did you get my frame?

Michael: Yes. Yes. I did. I even measured your puzzle so it’ll be the right size.

Janet: Did you get my ring?

Michael: What?

Janet: Did you get me a ring?

Michael: What are you talking about?

Janet holds up her hand.

Michael: No. No. I didn’t.

Janet: Oh. I see.

Michael: (sitting beside her, looking down) Janet. I’m sorry.

Janet: Why are you sorry?

Michael: I am very poor. I- I-

Janet: I know. Don’t worry about it. Love is all that matters –that’s what one of the magazines says. You can sit closer if you want.

Michael: I have things to do, Janet. I can’t waste the day away.

Janet: I understand.

Michael: How was the library?

Janet: Good. Paula was on the phone with my father most of the time.

Michael: Really? What were they talking about?

Janet: You.

Michael: Really? What were they saying?

Janet: Oh, you know. Things and stuff.

Michael: Janet, listen to me. Do you know what they were saying?

Janet: Ouch. That hurts.

Michael: I’m sorry. I just really want to know. I want to make a good impression on them.

Janet: Paula wanted to know your last name.

Michael: I see. Oh the mail is here already?

Janet: Yeah. It comes very early. I brought it up before I went to the library.

Michael: Michael Sandera? Who’s Michael Sandera?

Janet: Isn’t that you silly?

Michael: I know. I’m just teasing.

He opens the small package.

Michael: Dear Michael, this is to inform you of your acceptance to- My God.

Janet: What is it?

Michael: Oh. Just some Yale papers -I have to fill out. Must have forgotten to fill out.

Janet: Oh, speaking of papers, I have these for you to sign.

Michael: What is it?

Janet: They are about my apartment lease and since you will be living here.

Michael: Do we need to put me on the lease? Is that necessary?

Janet: I don’t know. Paula said so. She got these papers from the landlord.

Michael: She’s such a busy body, Janet, I don’t know if she’s good for you.

Janet: Yes, Paula is very busy. She does a lot of stuff for a lot of people. She’s very nice.

Michael: Yeah, very nice. Wow. Ummm. I’m gonna have to go to work today. So. . .uh. . .I will be leaving in a little bit.

Janet: When?

Michael: In not so long of time. I just have to get ready.

Janet: You always leave.

Michael: Yeah. I know. I have to though. Just like you have to go work for Carol on the weekdays.

Janet: Yeah, now she wants me to come to her house after work.

Michael: She does?

Janet: Yeah. One of her farm boys grabbed me.

Michael: He did?

Janet: Yeah. He held my eyes and made me guess his name.

Michael: Oh. Does she pay you? What work are you doing at her house?

Janet: Well on the way there she told me I’d be washing fruit. But then she made me peel potatoes. I didn’t like it at all.

Michael: Does she pay you?

Janet: No. She didn’t give me any money for that.

Michael: Did you like going over there?

Janet: Not really.

Michael: Then don’t go again.

Janet: My eye really hurts today.

Michael: It doesn’t look that bad. It looks like its healing. It probably means it’s healing.

Janet: Your face looks better.

Michael: Thanks. I’m surprised I got any mail here at all. I didn’t fill out a change of address form.

Janet: What’s that?

Michael: When you move, you give the post office a change of address form so your mail from your old house can come to your new house. . .

Janet: You didn’t do that, but you changed your phone number to mine?

Michael: Yes.

Janet: Why?

Silence

Janet: Seems like you would do it all together.

Michael: Seems that way.

Janet: Michael, tell me about yourself.

Michael: What do you want to know?

Janet: Everything.

Michael: Ha ha. That’s a lot of stuff, Janet.

Janet: But we have time. Marriage is till death do us part.

Michael: Where did you hear that?

Janet: Paula told me.

Michael: Sometimes, I’m afraid, Janet, Paula is wrong.

Janet: Really?

Michael: Yeah.

Janet: But that’s what the magazine said. In fancy letters. Till death do us part. It was a wedding magazine.

Michael: Yeah. It is till Death, Janet. But then I assure you, it’s over.

Janet: Oh. What happens then?

Michael: Nobody knows.

Janet: Nobody?

Michael: Nope.

Janet: Strange.

Michael: Life is a mystery. I have to get ready for work.

Janet: Okay. I suppose that’s why Pinocchio can’t figure out how to become real.

Michael: That’s part of it.

Janet: But he does. He does become real. So people are able to figure out the mysteries of life?

Michael: Only in fiction.

Janet: What’s fiction?

Michael: Something not real.

Janet: So television is not real? It’s that word you just said.

Michael: Yes. You never knew that?

Janet: I am not sure.

Michael: Oh.

The telephone rings. Janet gets up to answer it.

Janet: Hello? Sure. Sure. Okay. (She hits a number on the phone.)

Michael: Who is it?

Janet: My father.

Michael: I’m not here. I’m at work okay?

Janet: What?

Michael: Just please. Don’t say anything. Don’t let him find me.

Janet: Okay. Why?

Michael: Just shhh! Please. Don’t say anything to your father. Can you do that?

Janet: Till death do us part.

Michael: Good. (He exits to his bedroom door, Camden enters, Janet stares after Michael.)

Camden: Hello, my dear.

Janet: Hi.

Camden: What are you looking at?

Janet: Nothing. I’m just thinking.

Camden: Oh. Is Michael here? I want to talk to him.

Janet: No. No he’s not.

Camden: Well, where is the boy?

Janet: He’s out. He had to work.

Camden: I see. Janet, is he living here?

Janet: No.

Camden: That’s not what Paula said.

Janet: Maybe Paula lies.

Camden: Maybe you lie. Are you telling me the truth? What are all these bags? (He looks into them.)

Janet: That’s a frame that Michael bought me.

Camden: I see.

Janet: Yeah. You see.

Camden: Janet, why is there a 1.75 oz bottle of Vodka in here?

Janet: I don’t know.

Camden: You don’t know? You can’t have liquor in your apartment! You know that. Do you want to lose the subsidy?

Janet: Paula says I’m going to lose it. Ummm.

Camden: Ummm, what?

Janet: Nothing.

Camden: I want an explanation, Missy.

Janet: Paula said that they were changing it up anyway.

Camden: Well I will have to speak to her about it. I just came by to make sure everything is taken care of.

Janet: Okay.

Camden: So have you and Michael discussed any wedding plans?

Janet: No.

Camden: I see.

Janet: You see.

Camden: Don’t repeat everything I say!

Janet: Sorry.

Camden: When do you think that is going to happen?

Janet: What? What happened?

Camden: When do you and Michael think that you’re going to discuss these plans for marriage?

Janet: I don’t know.

Camden: I see. This is getting out of hand, Janet. I don’t think I trust this boy.

Janet: Why not?

Camden: He doesn’t operate like a real boyfriend.

Janet: He is a real boyfriend, Dad.

Camden: Okay. Well tell him that I called Yale this afternoon and- Did you hear that?

Janet: Did you hear what?

Camden: That. From in there?

Janet: From where?

Camden: I don’t know. That door. It sounds like someone is in that closet.

Janet: Oh that’s just Michael’s cat.

Camden: Michael has a cat?

Janet: Yeah.

The telephone rings.

Camden: I can answer it.

Janet: Dad, it’s my phone. I’m supposed to be living on my own.

Camden: Suit yourself.

Janet: (staring at her father) Yeah. Uh huh. Sure. (She hangs up.) The cat’s litter box is in there. You wouldn’t want to go in.

Camden: I’m not even sure if you are supposed to have pets in here. Of all the cock-a-maimy- Oh I love this movie.

Janet: Me too. I love Pinocchio. I want to be just like him.

Camden: What. A liar?

Janet: That’s mean, Dad. I am not a liar.

Camden: I didn’t mean it harshly, dear. Anyway I must be going, everything looks fine here. Tonight your mother and I have the surgeon’s ball. So I will be out all evening. But Michael and you should pick a time when all of us can have dinner again. Wouldn’t that be – be- just right?

Janet: Yes.

Camden: Fine. But get that liquor out of here. And don’t let Paula see it. . .my phone will be ringing off the hook otherwise. Come give your father a kiss.

Janet: Bye, Dad.

Camden: Good evening.

Janet: See you.

Camden: (to the cat in the closet) Bye. Bye Kitty. Whatever you are doing here. (to Janet) You should get the cat out too. Soon.

Janet: I will. Michael’s gonna pick him up later. Dad?

Camden: What is it?

Janet: What were you going to say I should tell Michael?

Camden: I called Yale today and gave him a good recommendation.

Janet: Oh that was nice of you. Don’t you think?

Camden: Yes. Very nice of me. Now I must be going.

Janet: Okay.

Camden: Have a good evening. Take a bath. Watch your movie. Bye.

Janet: Bye. (She closes the door after him after he exits. Michael opens the closet door.)

Michael: You are amazing.

Janet: I am?

Michael: You are smarter than you look!

Janet: I am?

Michael: You are my perfect Pinocchio! (He lifts her up and swirls her around. Janet laughs.)

Janet: Except my nose doesn’t grow like him!

Michael: Not yet. Because you are real. So real.

Janet comes down in Michael’s arms. Their gazes are locked together. She kisses him hard. It is awkward.

Janet: Michael, what’s wrong?

Michael: (turning away) Nothing.

Janet: Why did you try to hide from my dad?

Micheal: (turning back) To tell you the truth-

Janet: What?

Michael: Promise not to laugh at me?

Janet: I promise. What is it?

Michael: I afraid of your father.

Janet: He can be kind of scary. But he won’t hurt you.

Michael: I know. Why did you tell your father that I didn’t live here? I didn’t say you couldn’t say that.

Janet: I think he would be angry. I guess I’m scared of him too.

Michael: Good thing I had my cell phone.

Janet: Yeah, good thing.

Michael: That was a close one.

Janet: I know.

Michael: I could feel that you needed some sort of answer.

Janet: I did. I didn’t know what to tell him.

Michael: We think alike Janet.

Janet: We do.

Michael: We sure do.

Janet: We are one. WE will be one. Isn’t that what marriage is?

Michael: Yeah. Yeah.

Janet: That’s what those magazines say.

Michael: Those magazines scare me. I have to go to work now, Janet. I’ll be home later. You don’t have to wait up.

Janet: Okay. I’ll miss you.

Silence.