23: One Blood Orange

Clara cooks brunch in the Andreas family home. Judy comes in with trench coat and sunglasses. Both are pale as ghosts. Judy has a small paper sack with her.

Clara: So many things to plug in and unplug around here.

Judy: Yeah. Get used to it.

Clara: Where were you this morning?

Judy: I’m going to be making Alfie’s lunches. You can do breakfasts, but I am going to start packing him lunches.

Clara: Is that wise? After last night?

Judy: Just because I had one accident with a roast, doesn’t mean-

Clara: We both got food poisoning, Ms. Judy. That’s the only thing I can think-

Judy: We did not.

Clara: Why did you insist that we eat the burnt half?

Judy: It wasn’t burnt.

Clara: Well maybe you shouldn’t wear those sunglasses in the house, you’ll see better that way.

Judy: Look Clara. Look at me. (removes glasses) I am Mr. Andreas’ wife. I will remain so for quite sometime. You have to respect me.

Clara: I don’t respect no one who gives me food poisoning. I still am sick this morning.

Judy: I only threw up once.

Clara: Yeah, but you are probably used to it.

Judy: What was that?

Clara: Nothing. What have you got there?

Judy: Oh just some things to pack in Alfie’s lunch.

Clara: Fine.

Kitty enters.

Clara: Oh, Senorita Kitty. I have something for you.

Judy begins to get things ready for Alfred’s lunch.

Kitty: You do? What is it? What?

Clara: It’s an orange. Very juicy. For your snack.

Judy: (turning) Where did you get that?

Clara: From you. You know that.

Judy: That was for you.

Clara: I know. I know. But Mr. Alfie asked me to give Kitty a snack around 10.

Judy: I don’t think so.

Clara: That’s what he said.

Judy: But he hasn’t seen her the way I have. Too much sugar is a bad thing for Kitty isn’t it?

Kitty: I don’t know.

Judy: I do.

Clara: It’s just fruit, Ms. Judy.

Judy: It’s just fruit. It’s just fruit. No, it’s a peel away from being a temper tantrum once all that sugar gets in her blood. I have seen it.

Clara: Whatever you say, Ms. Judy.

Kitty: So I don’t get the orange?

Judy: No. I’m afraid not. I’m going to use it in your daddy’s lunch.

Alfred enters.

Alfred: I really don’t like oranges though.

Judy: But they’re good for you.

Alfred: Morning, Clara. Morning, Kitty.

Clara: Exactly. That’s why Kitty should have it.

Alfred: Just what are you doing, anyway Judy?

Judy: I’m packing you a lunch.

Alfred: Oh. Clara it is nice to have you back.

Clara: I’m afraid I was too late though.

Alfred: What do you mean?

Judy: I cooked a roast for dinner last night. You wouldn’t know. I don’t know what time you came home around, but I gave us food poisoning.

Clara: So sorry if I feel a little under the weather today.

Alfred: We’re just glad to have you back, aren’t we, Judy?

Judy: Yes. So very glad.

Kitty: What is sugar?

Clara: Excuse me, I don’t feel well.

Judy: You’re excused.

Alfred sits at the kitchen table as Clara exits. Kitty sits and talks with him. Meanwhile, Judy has emptied the contents of her paper sack –another small, yet full jar- near the spice rack with her back to Alfred and Kitty.

Alfred: Do you know what we’re having today?

Kitty: No. I don’t.

Alfred: Smells like oatmeal.

Kitty: Yum. I love oatmeal.

Alfred: Kitty, would you go bring me the mail? It’s down by the front door.

Kitty: Sure, daddy. (She exits)

Judy: (bringing bowls to the table) Here we are. Oatmeal for all.

Clara: (entering) I don’t think I have anything left to keep down.

Judy: Clara, go take a rest.

Clara: I- I don’t think that Malt-o-meal was done cooking yet.

Judy: I’ve got it under control. Clara, I think you should take a load off.

Alfred: You do look under the weather you should go lay down.

Kitty: Here you go, Daddy. (She hands him the mail.)

Alfred: Thank you, Kitty.

Kitty: When’s Michael coming back?

Silence.

Judy: Never.

Alfred: Why do you ask that?

Kitty: I miss him. Never? For real, he’s never coming back?

Alfred: Mommy, doesn’t know that it’s not good to never say never.

Judy: Clara, go lay down, I’ll bring you some water soon.

Clara: I would like a glass of juice.

Judy: Even better. Have a nice rest.

Clara: Mr. Alfred, may I have the paper to read while I’m in bed?

Alfred: Go right ahead. (He gives her the daily paper.)

Clara exits as Alfred eats his Malt-o-meal and Judy watches.

Kitty: I hope he comes back soon. I want to show him my painting.

Alfred: He will. Hmmm. This tastes better than ever today.

Judy: Good.

Alfred: Do you need to stare at me while I eat? (He begins opening the mail.)

Judy: Sorry. (She gets up and goes into the food prep area.)

Kitty: Where is my painting?

Judy: In the garage, where it should be.

Alfred: Not where it should, but- what the hell?

Judy: What?

Alfred: You wrote out a check for 1,000 dollars and made it out to cash?

Judy: Yes. I made a contribution.

Alfred: To what?

Judy: I don’t want to tell you.

Alfred: You better tell me.

Judy: I don’t want to. It’s silly.

Alfred: Things are going to get a whole lot sillier if you don’t tell me what you spent a thousand dollars on.

Judy: I made it out to a homeless man.

Alfred: Excuse me, what?

Judy: I felt sorry for him.

Alfred: You felt sorry for him?

Judy: Yes.

Alfred: Judy Andreas. When have you ever felt sorry for anybody but yourself?

Silence

Kitty: What does that mean?

Alfred: Nothing.

Judy: I don’t know what to say. I have to go throw up, but here is your lunch on the counter. I don’t want to speak to you for the rest of the day, you have really really hurt my feelings.

Judy exits.

Alfred: Your mother is not very smart, Kitty.

Kitty: Is she like me?

Alfred: No. She’s worse.

Kitty: Can she get better?

Alfred: I don’t think so. It’s not like that.

The doorbell rings.

Alfred: Will you go get that, Kitty?

Kitty: Sure, Dad!

Kitty runs to the front door. She opens it. A blonde man about thirty years of age stands there. He is very attractive and well-dressed.

Kitty: Can I help you?

Charles: Sure. I’m new to the neighborhood. Can I come in?

Alfred: Who is it, Kitty?

Kitty: He says his name is new to the neighbors.

Charles: Oh that’s not my name.

Alfred: What is your name, young man?

Charles: My name is Charles. I’m new to the neighborhood. I just wanted to say Hello.

Alfred: Well, hello. Is there anything I can do for you?

Charles: Not really. I just came by –wanted to introduce myself.

Judy enters.

Judy: Oh, who’s this?

Alfred: This is Charles. He’s new. I have to go to work, could you speak with the man?

Judy: Sure.

Kitty: I thought you weren’t going to talk to him.

Judy: Shhh.

Alfred: What were you saying?

Charles: Oh, my name is Charles and I just moved in.

Alfred: Well, nice to meet you, Charles-

Charles: Ozgood.

Alfred: Ozgood. I have to run and get my things for work. Have a pleasant day. (He exits up the entryway stairs.)

Charles: You as well. Again nice to meet you.

Judy: (extending her hand and her gaze) Very nice to meet you, Mr. Ozgood. Is there anything I can do for you?

Charles: Oh, no. I just live around the corner. Getting used to the surroundings, I want to introduce myself and let everyone know that I am a friendly guy.

Judy: You seem very friendly. I’m sure you’ll get along nicely in this neighborhood.

Kitty: Yeah, as long as you don’t create trouble.

Judy: Kitty means as long as you play in your own yard. Kitty sometimes has trouble understanding that.

Kitty: Yeah. Whatever.

Charles: Is this your daughter?

Judy: Oh, no no no. Of course not. She’s the daughter of my husband, Alfred who you just met.

Charles: I see.

Judy: Well is there anything I can help you with?

Charles: Maybe, but for now, I just wanted to say that I was in the neighborhood.

Judy: What do you do, Mr. Ozgood?

Charles: I’m actually looking for work, right now.

Judy: What were you doing before that? Before you moved here?

Charles: Oh a few jobs. Nothing serious.

Alfred re-enters with briefcase and lunch.

Alfred: Well if you’ll excuse me.

Judy: Oh Alfred. . .I don’t mean to meddle.

Alfred: Then don’t.

Judy: But Alfie, dear, weren’t you looking for someone in your office. . .a new secretary?

Alfred: No. No I wasn’t.

Judy: Oh, I thought you were. I thought that’s why you were staying late at the office, because you had all that work to do that she didn’t do it for you during the day.

Alfred: No.

Judy: Then she does do it for you during the day.

Alfred: Judy.

Charles: Well thank you, Mrs.-

Judy: Mrs. Andreas. And this is Alfred and this is his daughter, Kitty.

Charles: Well, very nice to meet all of you.

Judy: Well Charles, I tried. I tried to get you a job, but it just looks as if Mr. Andreas’ secretary does it for him everyday.

Alfred: You did, dear. How admirable.

Judy: You should get going, Alfie. You’re bound to be late. But you don’t seem concerned about being late to places.

Alfred: Not when you own the company. (He laughs.)

Judy: Alfie owns Goode’s Candy Company.

Alfred: I do. Now I must be off- Oh.

Judy: What is it?

Charles: Are you alright, Mr. Andreas? You don’t look well.

Alfred: I just feel faint that’s all.

Charles: Maybe you need some water.

Judy: (immediately) No.

Charles: No?

Alfred: I’ll be fine. I just need to get out of this house. I just need to drive.

Judy: He’s such a kidder.

Alfred: I’m not joking.

Charles: Do you think it’s best to get behind a wheel when you feel faint?

Judy: Yeah, do you? Let me get you a glass of water.

Alfred: I’ll be fine. Let me go, Mr. Ozgood. Thank you for your concern. But I’m leaving now. Good bye.

Charles: Good-bye.

Judy: See you at dinner?

Alfred exits.

Charles: I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-

Judy: What didn’t you mean?

Charles: I’m not sure. I just felt awkward. I hope I was not offensive.

Judy: Oh, don’t worry about it. My husband is just very hard-headed.

Charles: Oh.

Clara appears at the top of the landing with paper in hand.

Judy: And this is our cook. Clara. She lives in with us.

Charles: Nice to meet you.

Clara: Uh huh.

Charles: I should be going.

Clara: Yes, you should.

Judy: Clara! Don’t be rude to our guest.

Clara: (walking away) Okay.

Judy: (extending her hand) Nice to meet you again, Mr. Ozgood. And don’t worry about my husband. He can be quite rude sometimes.

Kitty: You’re rude. My daddy is not rude.

Judy: Okay. Okay.

Charles: Well see you later. Bye.

Judy: (whispers to Charles) My husband is actually not quite with it. He’s sort of stupid. Don’t pay any attention to him. He’s getting older.

Kitty: You’re stupid. You ARE! You’re worse than RETARDED. My daddy said so.

Judy: Okay. Okay. Clara! Could you help me discipline the child? Oh foolish children.

Charles: Have a good day, Ms. Andreas. I hope to see you again.

Judy: You too.

Clara: (coming back) This was not in the job description, Ms. Judy.

Judy: Such a kidder.

Clara: Come with me into the kitchen, Kitty. I’ll find you a snack. Since you can’t eat oranges.

Judy: Nothing with sugar. Nothing. Bye, Charles. Until we meet again.

Charles: Until then. Good bye.

Charles exits. Judy goes up the entryway and down the corridor into the kitchen.

Judy: Kitty, don’t you ever yell when strangers are in our house, do you hear me?

Kitty: I don’t want to hear you.

Judy: I can’t argue with you, Kitty. I’m too tired. I have to lie down.

Judy exits.

Kitty: She called Daddy stupid, but he called her stupid. I think she’s stupid.

Clara: She is stupid. And I’m not going to tell her.

Clara throws away the newspaper which reads the headline: Sex Offender moves into local neighborhood.